((** My Life..My Love..My World... ** ))..

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

U shld have seen Noreen's reaction to my reply to her qn. I told her i slept like super late last nite. So when she asked me wat i did cos she didint see me online, i told her la. And so she said:

"harlow!! u have a bf!!"

I noe laaaa. I noooooeee. Tapi tak salahkan that me and Nadeem were smsing each other?? Frenz only waaaat. Besides he was on duty and since i cldnt sleep and he layan-ed my nonsense, we continued smsing la. Trust me. Nadeem is funny and crappy and all that but he's not my type. He lacks smth that Ansari has.

Ansari's irritating. As for Nadeem.. he's a plain nice guy. Without the irritating trait, i can never like him.

Besides....... Nadeem is trying to make a go for my cousin. So here i am... helping hand.

Like how i told Nadeem to repeat after me last nite...

"Azreen is the lub guru"

Hahahaha. And he reali did it. Goodnesssss!! Let me recall some of our crappy smses.

"Repeat after me. Azreen is the lub guru..."
"Azreen is the lub guru. Happy??"
"Haha. Yes im the lub guru. Lub lub lub. Do u lub me Nadeem??"
"Yes la. I love u deep deep..."
"U love me deep deep?? Awww. I hv spare tyre already la. Wait till Ansari hears abt dis.."
"Yes.. Super deep i tell u.."

Dennn there was one part about him telling me that he wasnt looking forward to going outfield.. so i said dis:

"Cmon.. Be a man. Do the right thing. Get in the mood for outfield"
"Dun u go all Russell Peters on me. Crap. Tonight on duty wait not enuff sleep sia"
"Ahhh nice weather. I can snuggle up under my comforter. U having fun out there right??"
"Fun?? Wat funnn??"
"Yes la. Fun. Ure out there doing duty. Not following the crowd. Going against the norm. Not doing wat ppl do. Army the decisive force"
"Yeah right. Wat decisive force??"

Den kannn i was seriously crappy. I said:

"Nadeeeem... Whn Ansari n me hv a son, we'll name him Azan. Den our dotter will be Anaz. Hahaha. Gawd. Smack me."
"Yes. I so wana smack u but i cant do it now. Dammit"
"Eh u dare smack me, i tell Erza. Wait he shoot u wif the M-16. U scared not??"
"Scared for wat?? I shoot him back ah"
"Admit la. Ure scared. Erza's a better PS than u"
"Crap. He muz have told u that right?? Dammit. People dun normally say PS"
"He din la. Eh u tink i stoopid is it?? PS is Platoon Sergeant. Of corse i noe la. Besides my bf in army. I noe lots of army terms. Erza's a hensem PS"
"Fine... i dun wana talk to u already"
"Merajuk. Be petty la. Nyeh nyeh. U nvr talk to me, u wun get help regarding Azian. Nyeh nyeh"
"Haha. Kidding laaa. Im not petty. U muz help me wif Azian at ALL COST!!"
"All cost ah?? K i charge 50 bux for evry 15 mins session. As of right now u hv done 150 mins wif me. Cash, Nets, Credit accepted"
"Wahlau!! Where can charge me. If ure a fren u wun charge me"
"Im the lub guru. Muz charge. All proceeds go to the Pay Ansari Better Fund. U can pay using monopoly money"
"Ok. How much"
"That will be 150 bux. Hahaha. Nadeeeem!! Stop it laaaa. Dun crap wif me"

And so it went on and on. On and on. But very funny la that Nadeem. Haha. Super funnn.

I miss Ansari laaaah. I doooo. Can he like sms me?? NOW??!!

Urggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NORA UR BRO IS BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS

| 11/30/2005 04:36:00 PM

Sunday, November 27, 2005

I just got back from a wedding. My uncle's sis-in-law got married. She's young. 23. Not that young but still considering that i wun get married till after 6 yrs, 23 is a young age.

And she looked so ravishing that for a while i wish i was the one on the dais. She wasnt the type who wore make-up. In fact she was a plain jane and the fact that she got married to a dashing guy who is of mixed parentage has... well... has made me lose all hope all of a sudden.

Yes. Whatever hopes that i had... they are no longer there. Im not dejected or anything but i have seriously lost all hope.

I feel like letting go all of a sudden and not to cling on to anything anymore.

And Nurul, my lil cousin, was the flower gal and she looked so happy and pretty that i really really wish to be a kid all over again, thus rendering myself free from any sort of problems. But of course i wld wana be a nice and pretty kid like Nurul or Nadiah or Nazurah and not the fat kid that i was at the age of 5.

Trust me. I was humongous. Huge. Beeeeg. FAT.

Are u there?? Or are u not there at all?? If u arent, then set me free. Let me lead a carefree life like a bird.

The bride and groom looked really happy and smiley and when they held hands, i had this heavy, sinking feeling in my heart. It didnt help that Nazurah pulled me onto the dais. Yes she did and when i carried her away cos other ppl wanted to take pics, she startd wailing. Oh my goodness. Altho i love her sooo much i felt like giving her a tight smack.

Never go against Sister Azreen when she's in a bad mood.

Maybe i really shldnt care anymore and gradually disappear...

My turqoise and white tube dress has been nicely ironed. So is my capelet. Both of them are hanging on my wardrobe door. Will be wearing them for another wedding dinner at town later. I have no freaking idea which pair of heels to wear. I can fit into my mom's heels so i really am spoilt for choice.

I lost weight again. Im starting to get worried. For the past 3 months, my period has been early. This month, mine came earlier than Shaik's when by right mine usually comes a few days after hers. Just now when i put on the kebaya that my aunt made for us during her wedding, it was seriously loose. The kebaya was custom made to fit me just nicely. Perfectly. Made according to the curvature of my body. And it seemed like i didnt have breasts or smth.

BLUEK

Im not just tired. Im exhausted. I really am. I do not know where this is heading...

U know what...?? As the day passes, i am getting really really mad. Like seriously fuming mad. I am so so very mad that i am going to stuff my face with the 3 boxes of chocs that i got from the wedding.

I am going to stuff myself every single day till i become fat and obese. And then i wun be able to get out of my own room cos i wun even be able to get past the door and then my parents will have to call for help.

But before i stuff myself, i should go get ready for the wedding. Do my hair nicely. Make myself up nicely. Choose the nicest acessories. Decide on the most comfy and nicest pair of heels. Search for a nice glittery bag.

My parents are asleep. Before i leave the house later, i'll wake them up and get them to take a picture of me

When Miss Azreen merajuk but she still talks to u, there is still hope. But if she decides to ultimately and seriously give u the silent treatment, u are in deep shit.

| 11/27/2005 04:41:00 PM

It's at times like this that i start to wonder if i really made the right decision.

I really do not know. My mind is in a mess. I feel like crying and just giving up.

I went through my archives. From April 2 years ago all the way till now. I agree. Life wasnt easy for me. Ups and downs. And i have to admit life is much better for me now.

Im happier.

Well i don't know. Am i really happy??

I never had any expectations out of it. So why does it bother me?? Maybe cos i have already voiced out my feelings. What i wanted. And i certainly do not regard them as expectations cos it's not too much to ask for.

Is it??

Yes. Call it attention seeking. Whatever. I have been raised by people who never fail to let me know when they are thinking of me. I have been raised by people who perhaps put me on a pedestal cos i have always been the precious one. The one and only treasure.

Im not spoilt. Even u said so yourself.

So i do not know who to blame on. Myself?? You?? My parents?? My family??

I don't know la.

This isnt a random post. It's what im feeling right now and it is certainly not the goddamn pms becos i certainly know it's NOT!!

I appreciate it if u guys do not comment on this post. If u really wana know, ask me yourself.

U guys can continue commenting on my previous entry.

Gaaaaaaaaawwwwwddd

Sometimes i really hate my life.

| 11/27/2005 01:17:00 AM

Friday, November 25, 2005

Finally i got to meet Noreen mann. After like God noes how many months. Ok from February till now. Sooo she smsed me during the day to ask if i wana join her n her gang for dinner. I agreed. But first she came over to my place and deposited all the stuff that she bought for me, Shaik n Lulu.

She got me wat i wanted...

And there was an Australian issue of Cosmopolitan. Didnt noe Noreen reads mags. And wat's wif the 100% NAKED COUPLES thingy?? Aiyoooh!! If my mom see how??

Waaah!! Noreen proposed to me already la. How to break the news to Ansari when he books out huh?? HELP NORA!! HELLLPPP!!!

The stuff for Shaik n Lulu. Faster take from me eh u all. If not they are all MINE!!

My before and after shredded chicken horfun which was delicious actuali

Noreen posing (sori pic not clear) and the chicken rice and bandung that she had

Nadia and Fariheen

Nadia's prawn noodle

Fariheen's chicken rice

Eusof who sat 2 SEATS AWAY FROM ME (maybe cos i have some contagious disease) and at a separate table from us cos according to him it's haram to sit at the same table wif gals. WADEVERRR.

Right... Me and Noreen...

And while the others talked, this camwhore got into action... Wat else is new right??

We took neo-prints before dinner but i shall leave it to Noreen to scan them and send to me.

Got to see Eusof's bike. No comments.

Sooo after that dropped by Nora's. Got surat cinta for her. Hahaha. The card i gave u cute kannn Nora?? Heeeee. And so Nora and Noreen met each other already. Noreen said u look better in person.

And i've never realized dis before but Nora has naturally flushed cheeks. JEALOUSSS. She dun have to wear blusher la like that. NOT FAIR.

Ehhh wat's ur secret huh Nora?? Ur mom's cooking ehhh?? But ur 2 bros dun have pink cheeks. Cmon. Tell me ur secret.

Yes Noreen... My dad talks a whle lot more now. Terkejut kannn?? But u suke kannn?? U have always had a crush on my dad so jangan malu-malu k??

| 11/25/2005 01:11:00 AM

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Guess who is whoooooooo...