((** My Life..My Love..My World... ** ))..

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

AZWANDI!!!!!!!

U BETTER CALL ME..
TONIGHT!!!
NOW!!!!
RIGHT AT THIS VERY INSTANCE!!
If not i'm coming over to Yishun with a parang and i'm gonna do stuff to ur bike!!!!!

SHAIKHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

U BETTER GET ANDI TO CALL MEEEEEE!!
IF NOT..
U
ARE
SCREWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I repeat..

AZWANDI..
U
BETTER
CALL
ME
TONIGHT

COS

I
MISS
TALKING
TO
U..

| 6/30/2004 10:54:00 PM

WheeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Juz got back from dinner at east coast.. heh.. i'm a fat fat gal today..

During the day had lunch at Delifrance.. the Seafood Diva Set Meal.. den had a venti iced cocoa from starbucks.. den went to watch movie.. so ordered nachos.. makan makan macam tak habis gitu.. serious.. i kept stuffing them into my mouth.. but still half of them not finished..

Den went for tuition.. the auntie served me fruit punch.. crackers.. den.. got fried rice.. oh faint!!

After that.. my dad wanted to eat at east coast.. so.. we had satay.. i had 15 sticks.. den soto ayam.. roti john.. nasi goreng ikan bilis.. and rojak petis..

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~

Oh mannnnnnn..

I really really feel FAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!

Oh.. brought my bronzer today!! heh.. so exciting!! from now onwards i'm gonna use bronzer.. blusher only for special occasions.. anyways.. quite cheap.. $19.90 from Bodyshop.. and the guy.. or rather the manager.. Lawrence.. he was very helpful.. very nice.. cldn't help it.. and shake bought a hairbrush.. hoho..

Today.. me and shake held hands in the cinema.. not that we have not held hands before.. we did.. after the linkin park concert.. and we were walking by the road.. waiting for a cab..

But today.. it was longer.. and i felt the warmth.. very nice.. very soothing.. very comforting.. i have never felt this feeling before.. and it was because..

IT WAS COLD IN THE THEATRE!!

Haha.. what were u guys thinking mann??

Please.. me and shake are straight.. as straight as can be.. no lesbian instincts whatsoever..

We watched the korean movie.. Windstruck..

Wah!! DAMN FUNNY!! like seriously super duper funny.. u can juz laugh urself silly!! it has that guy who acted in Bright Girl's Success..

But.. ya.. towards the end.. it got really really sad.. and u can seriously cry ur eyes out.. i did.. but not as bad as shake la.. im not that sentimental.. but.. ya..

U SHLD WATCH IT!!

It's worth ur money.. remember.. it's..

WINDSTRUCK..

Ok.. my nose is running away.. i dun think it's gonna join the circus.. maybe it's running to Far Far Away in search for my Prince Charming..

Adios Amigos!!

| 6/30/2004 10:51:00 PM

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

WHY ARE U STILL SINGLE?

DON'T WANT TO GET HURT

Ever heard the expression, "Once bitten, twice shy?" You can probably relate to this, can't you? Your last relationship may have left you a little raw in emotions, and the memories are likely still fresh in your mind. Fresher than you can sometimes believe. With a hurt like that, you're probably not so eager to enter the drama again — and we can't say that we blame you. You may be so afraid of getting hurt that you take things to heart big-time when you're involved with someone — after all, you've been hurt before, why can't it happen again? You also may be guilty of comparing potential mates to your ex who may still constantly loom large in your mind.

But maybe, just maybe, it's time to check your baggage at the door and let a new person into your life with a clean slate. You have a lot to offer someone, but you can't do it when you have one foot firmly planted in the past.

Click here to take the test --> Why Are U Still Single?

| 6/29/2004 02:26:00 PM

Let me give u a FREE ONLINE LESSON.. yes.. let me teach u for FREE.. trust me.. there are NO STRINGS ATTACHED.. i juz feel like being oh so NICE..

Juz read the next few paragraphs ahead.. and.. PUT THEM INTO PRACTISE!!

So.. today's topic is..

HOW TO MAKE USE OF UR HANDPHONE..

Firstly.. i know most of u are currently using Nokia phones.. which are very popular with the majority.. due to its user friendly features..

Well.. for today's lesson.. it certainly doesn't matter which brand of handphones u are using.. be it Nokia.. Samsung.. Panasonic.. Sony Ericsson (which is what i'm currently using and I LOVE IT - i really really do).. or.. SIEMENS..

So what was the main aim of getting a handphone in the first place?? Of course it's cos ALMOST everybody has 1.. and ppl in general do not want to be left out..

And after getting a handphone.. most ppl use it for making phone calls or smsing.. like.. DUH!!

So why is it that lately.. yesssssss.. LATELY.. as in the past few mths.. i discover that.. some guys.. yesssss.. some MALES dunno how to use their handphones!!

Gosh!! this is EXTREMELY APPALLING.. seeing that they actually know how to use their handphones to take pictures of THEMSELVES.. but yet.. a simple task like smsing and calling is beyond their reach..

In this day and age of technology development.. i'm sure smsing and calling shldn't be a problem for them..

So.. if u fall under the category of those guys who are simply technologically challenged.. and i mean if u're having problems with smsing and calls..

READ ON..

Different handphones have different keys.. it actually doesn't matter.. cos when a call comes in.. u ACCEPT the call.. so how do u actually go abt doing it??

Most phones usually have these 2 icons on the right and left side of the keypad.. that is.. the GREEN and RED coloured keypad with the logo of a phone receiver.. and like most ppl with common sense.. RED stands for DANGER or KEEP OUT or what have u.. so u only press the RED button if u wanna REJECT a call..

But.. if u want to ACCEPT a call.. u actually have to press the GREEN button.. yessss.. GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN.. after pressing that button.. proceed on by putting the handphone near ur ear.. till u hear someone's voice over at the other end..

The same goes if u want to make a phone call.. first u key in the person's no.. and i certainly know that this certain male specie i'm talking abt doesn't need to scroll thru his address book cos he rmbrs MY NUMBER.. but ya.. after keying in the no.. u go ahead and press the GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN button.. after the person ans.. u TALK BACK!!

Now.. let's proceed to the next part..

HOW TO SMS..

I'm sure if u are able to use ur handphone to actually take a picture of urself as soon as u wake up.. i'm really really sure u know how to use that joystick function of urs.. on ur SIEMENS phone.. and actually go the message folder..

Ok.. some of the handphones do not have joysticks.. but all the same.. u get into ur menu.. and scroll to ur message folder..

Then.. u click on to NEW MESSAGE/COMPOSE MESSAGE/NEW SMS or what have u.. and put ur fingers to good use and.. COMPOSE AN SMS!!

Some of u might be comfortable with not using a Dictionary.. cos it's easier to use short forms.. but since some of u use the Dictionary.. STOP BEING A DICK and use it to HELP u to compose an sms!!

After u have said what u wanna say.. then u proceed by clicking on the button on ur handphone that doubles up as the 'YES' button and SEND THE SMS.. and again it's either u scroll thru ur phonebook for the no.. or.. if u have MEMORISED the no at the top of ur head.. u juz KEY IN THE NUMBER AND SEND!!

And in the case that u receive and sms from someone.. or a reply to ur sms.. it is only POLITE to REPLY BACK!! yesssssss.. u juz proceed and again press the button that acts as a 'YES' button and choose the option.. REPLY.. then again u compose and SEND THE SMS!!

So have i made myself clear??

HAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE I???????????????

If u are still not clear.. USE UR HOME PHONE TO CALL MEEEEEEEEEEEE!! i'm sure that isn't such a daunting task right?? u juz pick up the damn receiver.. and punch in my 8-digit number.. which i repeat.. U HAVE ALREADY MEMORISED!!

And if u are gonna keep ur phone on SILENT MODE while u're at home.. puhleeeeese put it NEAR U so that u'll be able to know when a call comes in or u have received an sms.. dun be dumb and wander around the house while ur handphone is stuck in ur 'romantic' room..

And if u're outside.. and again for some stupid fucking strange reason u wanna keep it on SILENT MODE.. at least make sure the VIBRATION setting is ON.. and i'm sure ur handphone is placed in ur jeans pocket.. so the next time u feel as if ur ASS is SHAKING.. it's ur handphone DAMMIT!!

And even if ur handphone is placed in ur BAG while u're out.. puhleeeeeeeese have some common sense and the decendy to at least check it EVERY 30mins..

And if u can't tell the difference.. a LONG VIBRATION means u have a call.. and what do u do when u get a call?? u either ACCEPT it.. or REJECT it.. either way it's better than to let it continue vibrating..

Pls dun tell me u juz stare at it and tell urself: "Ahh.. i've got a call.."

And even if it got too late for u to realize that u got a call.. maybe u were RIDING ON UR BIKE.. or SLEEPING.. or simply because UR HANDPHONE WAS ON SILENT MODE AND U DIDN'T HEAR IT.. it'll be recorded under MISSED CALL.. so all u have to do is to refer back to the caller.. and i mean RETURN THE CALLER'S CALL!! juz press 'YES' after u have checked ur MISSED CALL and.. voila!! ur handphone will do the redialling for u..

And what do u do after that?? u actually TALK BACK to the caller..

And if it's a SHORT VIBRATION.. it means u have received an sms.. and again.. after u have read ur sms.. pls at least be polite enuff to reply it.. esp if it's a REPLY TO UR SMS!!

Gosh!! u all shld really excuse me.. i have really gone bonkers.. maybe it's the side effects of.. well.. i dun see the need to mention it here.. for those of u who know.. well.. u know..

So now..

I talk to myself before i sleep..

And..

I actually told shake last night that we are star crossed lovers.. cos she was planning for her wedding in 5 yrs.. and she isn't gonna marry me!! HUMPH!! so i'm romeo and she's juliet..

See.. i told u.. I HAVE LOST MY MARBLES..

I know i shld start studying now.. my entry proof is here.. *bleah*.. how EXCITING!! i will ok!! juz not this wk!! i promise!!

Cos yday i went to the library to return my bks.. then i had to go in and actually check out whether they still had books by Sheila O'Flanagan.. and so they did.. and i borrowed 2 more bks by her..

Far From Over.. and.. He's Got To Go.. so i have to finish reading these 2 bks before i actually get around to my revision..

HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!
MERRY XMAS!!!!!!

| 6/29/2004 11:28:00 AM

Monday, June 28, 2004

I can't get to sleep.. *grrrrrrrr*..

The weather is juz.. ok.. i shall see if i can refrain myself from swearing.. u guys shld start charging me each time i swear mann..

Ok.. let's start from the beginning..

Firstly.. i finished reading the book!! heh.. it really got so exciting.. to the point that i was reading and eating at the table at the same time.. which of course resulted in my parents scolding me.. i even brought the book to the toilet!!

And towards the end.. when it got really really exciting.. i tried to read the words S-L-O-W-L-Y cos i didn't wanna finish reading it so fast.. silly me!!

The weather was cool on saturday night.. and it was nice and comforting to be curled up in my room.. with the comforter over me.. altho it did get kinda lonely.. ok i shall not get to there..

But last night.. fuh!! it was hot and sticky and humid and what have u.. and i was just tossing and turning in bed.. trying to find the best spot.. i tell u.. every single position that i took failed to cool me down..

I think i only fell asleep around 3.. cos it was hot.. and i was thinking abt stuff.. and part of me was waiting for.. ok ok.. SHUT UP ALREADY AZREEN!! GET UR MIND OFF IT!!

And i was frustrated.. up to the point that i made a lot of noise?? haha..

Ok ok.. i was TALKING TO MYSELF.. and i didn't know i was very loud.. cos my dad who actually was in the kitchen for a drink actually popped in to check out what the 'commotion' was all abt..

I dun blame him.. it was already after 2am.. and even if i were talking on the phone.. i've always managed to keep my voice down.. so maybe i've juz gone bonkers.. but hey!! dun tell me u guys dun talk to urself!!

The thing abt me is.. i will nvr realise that i'm actually talking loudly.. until someone actually points it out to me.. but u can't blame me abt last nite.. cos i was really really frustrated..

U shld ask shake how i was going on and on and on.. juz complaining to her.. and i guess yday i really showed her how stubborn i was.. heh..

So i guess.. both of us are really really stubborn?? but but.. the ONLY way to resolve this matter is thru talking??

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

U are certainly not telling me that i shld actually CALL HIM??

Hey!! I like this new song by Jet.. it's called Look What U've Done..

Ok ok.. back to what i was talking abt..

Why muz i be the one to call him?? Why can't he call me?? i know la.. he's the one who usually calls.. and so now maybe i shld be nice and actually call him instead.. but but..

IT WAS HIS FAULT!!

This time i didn't do anything to piss him off.. unlike last time.. that i admit was partly my fault..

But kotek.. u know what happened.. u were there..

Guys being guys.. he might not know i'm pissed at him.. cos let's juz face it.. some guys can be juz so dense..

But if he doesn't know.. he wld have called.. and talked casually to me.. but due to the fact that he hasn't called.. that shows that he knows i'm actually pissed..

It's either he doesn't dare to talk to me cos he's ball-less.. or he's giving me time to cool down.. actually i'm not mad at him anymore la.. i mean.. there's only so long that i can stay mad at him..

So tell me.. doesn't the word 'Sorry' exist in a guy's vocab?? is it so hard to actually call a girl up and say..

"Look.. i'm really sorry abt tuesday.. i know i was an ass.. i shldn't have done what i did.. wait a minute.. the fact that i didn't do anything.. that's what i shld apologize for.. and i'm really really sorry abt it"

I know la.. he was upset abt his bike.. which got towed away.. and i hope he's gotten it back.. though i think it was his fault.. maybe he didn't put parking coupon.. can u believe that he refuses to buy those monthly parking coupons?? wun it be easier for him rather than having to go down every night juz to put parking coupons on his red-yellow-black spiderweb scrambler??

But it doesn't justify what he did.. i'm not trying to be petty and go on and on abt the incident.. what's past is past..

But.. isn't his conscience even pricked?? *sheesh*..

Actually it's not only abt that la.. not telling me that he was already there.. the fact that it took him dunno how long to reply my sms.. i sent one in the morning.. and one the afternoon.. and another one when i was sitting at the stupid steps at city hall..

And God!! he didn't even ans my calls!! until dunno how many tries!! that also cos i got shake to actually help me call.. cos i didn't feel like talking to him..

Fine fine.. i shall drop the subject..

Last nite.. shake said life is too short.. which i agree la.. which ultimately means i shld juz amends.. and set things right..

I was reading the obituary pg.. dun ask me why i was reading it in the first place.. i juz like it ok!! since i was small.. i guess it's nice to see who has left this world.. and how much they will be missed by loved ones..

Ok not.. that wasn't what i was going to talk abt.. i really can't seem to juz get on to things right?? i always end up talking abt other stuff..

What i wanted to say was.. i saw this obituary.. for this 17 yr old gal.. very pretty.. very sweet.. it's juz that.. she's SO YOUNG!!

I mean.. in a way it's a blessing for her.. God loves her.. and wld want her by his side.. and by taking her away at such a young age.. God is preventing her from committing any more sins.. and prevent her from getting hurt by ball-less and heartless and irritating creatures called MEN..

HAH!!

But the point i was trying to get at is.. yeah yeah.. again i beat around the bush..

Ok.. what went thru my mind when i read her obituary was.. what happened to her?? how did she die?? i'm not being a busybody la..

Did she die cos she was sickly??
Did she fall and hit her head??
Did she get into a rd accident??
Did she die in her sleep??
Did she commit suicide??

The possibilities are endless!! was her death expected?? i mean if she was sick and stuff.. at least her family wld have expected it.. but what happens if her family woke up and actually found her gone?? juz so suddenly??

It really muz be hard on her family.. and frenz.. i've nvr what it's like to lose a fren.. i mean a very close fren.. and as immature as it sounds.. i really dun wanna go thru that.. i wld want all of us to live to a ripe old age.. get married.. have kids.. and grandkids.. a loving hubby.. a nice house..

I know what its like to lose a loved one.. i'm sure all of us have gone thru it in some way or another..

For me.. it was the death of my great-grandma.. the one who took care of me since i was born.. the one who bathes me in the morning.. the one who prepares breakfast for me in the morning.. the one who gets me ready for school.. the one i see as soon as i step into the hse after school.. the one who lulls me to sleep..

Altho she suffered a stroke.. she juz seemed healthy.. cos she managed to live on for 5 yrs after her stroke attack.. despite not being able to walk and feed herself properly.. and i visited her the night before.. at one of her kids' hse..

I was there with her.. in the same room.. on the same bed.. juz beside her.. talking to her.. stroking her arm.. and we were smiling at each other.. the next morning before i left for sch.. i found out she was admitted to the hospital.. and i didn't think it was serious..

But i nvr got to be by her death bed.. she was asking for me.. but i was away at sch.. and when i looked at her for the last time.. kissed her for one last time.. i didn't cry at all..

I stood there.. despite knowing that she wun be back.. but yet at the same time wishing in my heart.. that she wld open her eyes.. jzu wake up and talk to me.. in fact.. i was kind of angry.. cos she left so soon..

What happened to her promises to see me graduate??
What happened to her promises to see me get married??
What happened to her promises to see my kids??

It didn't hit me.. till everything was over.. and that night.. before i went to bed i juz cried my eyes out.. i juz cried and cried.. 10th July 1999.. it's gonna be almost 5 yrs..

So i guess life is indeed short huh??

I used to ask shuqing what she wld do if i leave this world first.. and of course she wld whine and whine.. i always told myself.. i shld juz write letters for my loved ones.. abt how i feel for them.. at least when i leave this world.. they have one last thing to rmbr me by.. but i nvr got around to doing it..

I dunno.. i dun want things to drag on for one more day..

But..

Ok this is hard.. really really hard.. i can't believe i'm fretting over it.. what's happening to me?? has my life been reduced to such a level of pathetic-ness that i actually let something like this bother me??

*sheesh*

It's gonna be almost a week already...

It sux..

I really shld get back to sleep..

I'm up so early.. and here i am babbling away..

I really muz have lost my marbles..

Aku sudah kehilangan guli ku..

*hurhur*

Not funny Azreen.. but it did sound funny each time the author uses that to descirbe the lead character who is juz plain crazy!!

Ok ok!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!

Why Azreen why??

| 6/28/2004 06:53:00 AM

Sunday, June 27, 2004

I decided to put this song.. cos.. simply because I LIKE IT.. when the Mario Winans song is up.. i'll put it up..

Ok.. is it juz me or did Jacelyn Tay and Terenca Cao tie the knot?? cos i was watching Gilmore Girls.. then when the show ended i switched to ch 8.. which happened to show an advertisement on this variety show.. so if they did get married..

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sure know Diana Ser and James Lye got married.. and they are going to the Caribbean for their honeymoon..

Haha.. ok ok.. too drama abt the whole Trence and Jacelyn thingy.. but Terence Cao is good looking.. and so is Jacelyn Tay.. and they'll produce gd looking kids!! i know they used to date.. then broke up.. so they got together again?? and realise that they are meant for each other?? that they are made for each other?? that they wanna spend the rest of their lives with each other??

*sigh*

Love.. guess we can't do without it.. but how do u ultimately know that this is the guy u wanna spend the rest of ur live with?? the one who's gonna take care of u?? thru sickness and in health.. and thru thin and thick and thickest.. haha..

Well.. guess i'm happy that they got married.. and i hope they last.. for eternity.. awwwwwwww.. ain't that sweet??

Actually getting married is a scary thought.. i mean.. going out with the guy is definitely a nice feeling.. having someone who cares for u.. someone to be there for u when u need him.. and stuff..

But..

Getting married and actually living with each other under one roof is something else!! i kinda shudder at the thought.. but everybody has to face it someday.. oh i shld juz shut up.. who am i to talk abt such stuff?? i dun even have someone special..

But seriously.. i wonder who i'll end up getting married to..

Will he be someone from my own social circle of frenz??
A family fren??
Someone who i meet at the bus stop??
Someone who i meet at Starbucks??
Someone from work??

Haha.. the possibilities are endless!!

Tuesday night..
Wednesday..
Thursday..
Friday..
Sat..

Oh mann!! it's been that long since i talked to andi!! well.. not that i care anyway..

I mean why shld i care right?? He was the one at fault!! i mean i seriously dun care that i dun talk to him right?? i dun care do i?? i dun miss him do i??

Ok.. look on the bright side of things Azreen.. u get to sleep early!! uninterrupted sleep the entire night!!

Ok.. I DO NOT MISS HIM.. I DO NOT CARE THAT I'VE NOT HEARD FROM HIM FOR A FEW DAYS ALREADY..

Damn!! it's seriously not helping.. shut up Azreen!! shut up!!

I think Friendster's new layout SUCKS!! BIG TIME!! *sheesh*.. it juz totally sux!!

Ohh.. this guy wrote to me.. and said that my profile caught his eye.. BIG TIME!! haha.. that is like so super funny mann!! he even left his no.. and msn.. and he hope that i wasn't freaked out by it.. what the hell??

Shaikhah.. haha.. feel funny calling u that..

Anyways.. KOTEK.. do wateva u wanna do with him mann.. actually after what happened on tues.. i really can't be bothered anymore..

Can't be bothered abt EVERYTHING..

Do u know that i've been cooped up in my room.. juz reading my book?? I was reading Suddenly Single.. now i'm reading My Favourite Goodbye by he same author.. and this one.. *ouch*.. it's really close to reality..

So now i'm kinda engrossed in it.. cos.. ya.. the lead character is kinda like me..

But back to what i was talking abt earlier..

I HAVE GIVEN UP HOPE!! it's kinda ironic that i was talking abt marriage earlier on.. and now i'm feeling this way.. i'm contradicting myself..

Well.. sometimes things happen.. that juz make u change ur mind.. i dunno how to explain myself either.. it's kinda hard to put into words what i'm feeling..

For now.. I WASH MY HANDS OFF THIS ENTIRE THING.. yesssss.. i dun want to spend half my day thinking and agonizing over it.. so kotek.. dun ask me what to do abt F..

I'm not being hardless.. really i'm not.. i mean if u need someone to talk to abt the entire issue.. well.. i can be ur listening ear.. but pls.. no opinions from me.. dun ask me what to do..

How can i help u when my own fucking life isn't sorted out?? when i dun even know what he's trying to do?? when i can't even tell what the hell is going on..

Laaaa~~~~~

Today i did the cooking.. yes i did!! *raises arms into the air*.. haha.. i cooked chicken rice.. and it turned out nice ok!! i'm not praising myself!! it really turned out nice.. wish all of u cld be here to taste it..

Gonna get back to reading now.. and counting the no of days..

Shit!! stop thinking abt it Azreen!!

| 6/27/2004 07:53:00 PM

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Sometimes I
Need to remember juz to breathe
Sometimes I
Need u to STAY AWAY FROM ME
Sometimes I'm
in disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I
Need u to GO

Sometimes I
Feel like I trusted u too well
Sometimes I
Just feel like SCREAMING AT MYSELF
Sometimes I'm
In disbelief I didn't know
Somehow I
Need to be ALONE

DON'T STAY
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What u were CHANGING ME INTO
Juz give me myself back and
DON'T STAY
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all ur FAITHLESSNESS WITH U
Juz give me myself back and
DON'T STAY

I DON'T NEED U ANYMORE
I DON'T WANT TO BE IGNORED
I DON'T NEED ONE MORE DAY
OF U WASTING ME AWAY

WITH NO APOLOGIES

| 6/26/2004 04:08:00 PM

My my.. look at the time!!

*stretches myself*

U see.. i juz woke up.. when i actually slept early last nite.. by my standards sleeping at 12:30 IS early.. so now it's like.. *counts my fingers*.. about 15 hrs of sleep!!

And i STILL am feeling tired.. i dunno why.. over the past few days i've been feeling very tired.. like all the energy has been sucked out of me.. is there some kind of bug going around my body??

Actually.. i dun feel sick.. juz no mood to do stuff.. yday had dinner at East Coast.. u know.. the food centre.. me and my parents were ther at 6pm.. and for 2 whole hrs i didn't finish my roti john.. i only ate satay..

After that my parents sat by the beach.. while i walked around.. near the pasta fresca sea sports area there are HUGE SANDCASTLES.. i think it's some kind of competition?? i dunno..

It's organised by the South East CDC.. most of the sandcastles aren't completed yet la.. but it was a nice feeling.. being able to look at the sand castle.. and the sea breeze.. did some thinking too..

*ouch*

Mom's at work and Dad's cooking something in the kitchen.. a few mins ago after i woke up and sauntered into the kitchen.. i saw.. tofu.. beansprouts.. fishballs.. like tonnes and tonnes of fishball.. like 1 HUGE BOWL OF FISHBALLS..

So i dunno what he's gonna cook.. hope it's something nice.. i really very seldom eat vegs.. but.. I LIKE BEANSPROUTS.. haha.. dun ask me why.. maybe cos they look like noodles??

Oh well.. wateva la.. gonna do a bit of stuff online.. then bathe..

*yawn*

| 6/26/2004 03:55:00 PM

Friday, June 25, 2004

What's Your Signature Colour?

Pink Chiffon

There's nothing saccharine about you — your sweetness is one hundred percent natural! A gentle, thoughtful romantic like you must be paired with a color that's soft and warm — but still has a subtle sophisticated sheen. That's why Pink Chiffon is the perfect color for you! You're probably known for making the most of every situation and trying to see the best in people. But while you may be cheerful and innocent at times, you're nobody's fool. You may see the world through rose-colored glasses, but you can still see, after all.

While you make wise insights time after time, it's probably your good nature and perpetual optimism that are what you're known for and what make you a joy to be around. Even those who sometimes make fun of your Pollyanna-like proclamations will turn to you when they need a friend and some cheering up. So keep pink, Chiffon. With you around, the world's a better place!

Click here to take the test --> What's Your Signature Colour?

| 6/25/2004 02:36:00 PM

Lately anybody who has tried to carry out a conversation with me for more than 2 mins will realise that my voice starts to get hoarse towards the end.. and then.. it.. DISAPPEARS!!

Haha.. i guess it's still suffering from the after-effects of tuesday night.. ok ok.. i'm not trying to rave on and on abt the concert.. not that many of u wld care anyway..

But.. yeah.. my poor voice box.. srained from all the screamings.. screamings of a frustrated person.. who.. at any moment cld have chosen to leap up on stage.. seize the mike from either chester or mike.. and start screaming:

****!!!!! U MOTHAFUCKA OF A BASTARD!! U COMPLETELY SCREWED UP ASSHOLE!! U DUNNO HOW TO RESPECT A WOMAN!! U CHICKEN!! U GAY!! I KNOW IT'S USELESS ASKIN U TO CLARIFY URSELF.. WELL U DUN HAVE TO!! IT'S COS U HAVEN'T GOT ANY BALLS!! U'RE A FUCKING COWARD WHO HIDES IN UR OWN ROOM.. U NARCISSISTIC FELLOW!! SCREW U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*flashes both my middle fingers*
RRRRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok my mom called during lunch.. actually it was more of a wake up call.. haha.. and she's worried abt my voice.. so she's askin me to go to the doctor's.. I SHALL REMAIN STUBBORN!! *muahaha*.. it's nothing serious la..

Yday i had to teach tuition right.. and my student actually called me CRAZY.. not that i'm not aware of THAT.. i know i can be go completely over the top.. a guy called Azman once said that it's like i've got an Energizer battery inside of me.. well.. change that to Duracell battery..

So yday.. my voice kept disappearing while teaching her.. and sometimes she can't make out what i was saying.. haha.. she was really curious abt the amt of shouting i did.. well darling.. i can't tell u either.. next time i'll record it on the decibel metre and show it to u k?

After tuition.. i got ambitious.. haha.. no la.. cos i've not eaten much over the last few days.. so i told myself:

Juz buy something from the coffeeshop.. u WILL be able to finish it..

So.. i bought fried noodles.. and a sundae float.. haha.. but i cldn't finished my fried noodles.. juz a few mouthfuls.. and i dumped my sundae float in the fridge.. only drank it towards the end of meteor garden..

Did anybody watch The OC?? Mannnnnn!! what the hell was wrong with Summer?? If she likes Seth then admit it!! she didn't have to act like a COMPLETE bitch!! and after that kiss on the yacht.. EEEEEEEEEE!!!

And what is wrong with Seth?? What does HE see in SUMMER?? for that matter i thought her dress cld drop any moment while she was on the yacht.. can't he see that.. what's that gal's name?? well.. anyway SHE really likes him!!

And i like Seth's dad.. despite his scruffiness at times.. i think he's a good husband.. he wasn't seduced by Rachel.. the wife shld learn to appreciate him more.. instead of listening to her dad.. and blowing her top at him..

And Mrs Cooper.. who is actually neighbours with Seth and his family.. is having an affair with Seth's GRANDFATHER!! *sheesh*.. doesn't the old man feel funny visiting Mrs Cooper when he cld bump into his daughter or son-in-law or grandson next door??

Ok.. for those of u who do not follow up on The OC u wldnt understand what i'm talking abt..

And as for Meteor Garden.. that's another frustrating love story.. i dun hate anybody in that show.. i know in Taiwan lots of ppl hates Michelle Saram's character.. Ye Sha for coming in between Daoming Si and Shancai..

But the guy lost his memory for goodness sake!! u can't blame Ye Sha.. cos it wasn't as if she seduced him!! he fell for her over the times they spent together.. i dunno what's the ending.. and I DUN WANNA KNOW!! i'm not like shake who reads up on the endings of stories.. but once Daoming Si regains his full memory he'll be faced with a dilemma.. *muahaha*..

LP: Who can rock a rhyme like this?
Singapore: LIKE THIS!!

Yeah shake.. that song ROCKS!! oh mann.. i wish u had been INSIDE instead of OUTSIDE.. then u wldn't be screaming alone.. and its all cos of Tony's wedding la.. so have u decided how much u wanna give him??

But if i hadn't bought tix.. can u imagine.. the 2 of us.. screaming like nobody's business outside.. THAT will definitely set the cameras on US.. reporters and cameramen wld be stumbling to interview and film us mann.. haha..

So it's been 2 1/2 days.. shld i even bother giving HIM a piece of my mind?? isn't it kinda stale already?? i really dunno.. i'm afraid the things that i wanna say wld jeopardise the frenship..

Which is the LAST thing i wanna do.. i dun want him to think i'm petty over a lil thing..

BUT..

I'm NOT being petty.. it's NOT a lil thing.. ok maybe it is cos it juz involved a phone call or an sms to inform me his whereabouts.. and precisely cos it juz involves a tiny gesture of calling or smsing that i still dun get it..

BUT..

It is clearly HIS fault this time.. and i have every right and reason to be pissed and blow my top at him..

Oh forget it..

Btw shake.. IF F does decide to go with that minah tudung.. i still think it wun make much of a difference in the end.. cos u will all be sitting at the same bloody table..

He MIGHT end up goin with her.. out of courtesy.. well.. for that matter i dun think he goes for THAT kinda gal.. does he?? afterall only her ex fancies her..

Chill gurl.. from what i've learnt so far..

Guys dun like gals who try too hard..
Guys always go for gals who play hard to get..

I dunno if u've tried the first step.. that is to act all interested.. like what i did.. then u juz shut up and remain silent.. this reverse psychology works cos he will feel that something is amiss when he doesn't hear from u.. and when he feels that something is wrong he might think he likes u too..

Haha.. do u understand??

But.. do that only for the pure fun of it.. if u want something serious.. i have no suggestions..

At 9am juz now.. i got a phone call.. and since it was early in the morning.. and due to the current state of my voice.. i sounded worse than a frog..

Caller: Can i speak to the person with this IC no 050*****
Me: Huh?? What??
Caller: (repeat the entire thing again)
Me: Ohhh.. that's my GRANDFATHER'S IC no..
Caller: I understand that SHE submitted an entry for NDP tix..
Me: (more likely it was ME who submitted for him) Ya..
Caller: We are pleased to inform u that SHE has won 6 preview tix..
Me: Oh.. okaaaaay.. so when can i collect it??
Caller: * of July..
Me: What time??
Caller: Office hours..
Me: Well.. WHERE SHLD I COLLECT IT THEN??
Caller: M******* W***
Me: Okaaay.. WHICH FLOOR??
Caller: 2nd floor..
Me: (can't be bothered to ask fro the unit number) Ok.. i'll be collecting on my GRANDFATHER'S behalf then..
Caller: Rmbr to bring HER ic and urs too..
Me: Ya! I know!

Ok.. firstly i dunno if he has hearing problems.. or is it cos of my voice.. but.. MY GRANDFATHER IS MALE!! juz in case u dunno that.. and he sounded as if he was reading from a script!! and i dunno which army fella had to do the calling.. *sheesh*..

| 6/25/2004 01:29:00 PM

Thursday, June 24, 2004

WASSSSUUUUPPPP MOUNTAIN TITORSE??!! do u actually get to see the ceiling at the mountains?? dun talk cock ah.. *hur hur*.. so what if u breathe fresher air?? wateva it is the URBAN TITORSE will always be ahead of u.. muahaha.. more modern leh.. haha..

Oh mannnn..

I'm so super duper exhausted!! by the time i got home last nite it was close to 5.. and my parents.. well.. of course they weren't pleased la.. but they didn't scold..

I know i musn't do it so often.. like shake said.. Jangan amalkan.. dun worry la.. it wun turn into a habit or a routine.. it's only once in a while.. the last time i ever stepped into one was 2 mths ago..

But last nite i had a proper chaperone and stuff.. well.. a responsible one at that.. so my parents weren't really worried la..

So abang will be coming over again on the 18th.. *hee*.. kinda exciting.. dunno what project he has to do on that day.. but.. lalalalala.. can't wait mann..

Ok my parents have given me much leeway.. so now it's time i return their kindness.. and understanding by cleaning up the hse a lil bit.. and spending more time with them.. lalalala..

U know.. seriously for the past 2 days.. i think i've shortened my life span by dunno how much.. on tuesday i had to endure the smoke and booze.. which wasn't that bad la.. cos at the padang it was open air..

But last nite.. oh mannnn!! i breathed in quite a lot of smoke.. not that i'm not used to it.. but.. u wun realise it's so suffocating till u get out of the place itself..

And the music.. it was LOUD!! haha.. so was LINKIN PARK.. but i dun think last nite was much fun la.. i prefer it if there was a live band.. if only we had gone to east coast.. cos i prefer dancing to live music..

Speaking of live music.. i think the LP concert was tooooooo short!! really really short!! i wish they had played every single one of their songs.. i dun mind paying a bit more for a longer concert..

Mann.. i really need a tan.. my tan from last mth hasn't faded la.. but like i was saying.. it wasn't a good tan.. the turnout wasn't good.. so yeah.. need to go to sentosa to do it again..

Gosh!! my eyes are really really heavy.. can't hardly open them.. and i've not eaten since tuesday.. the ham and cheese croissant.. partly it's cos my throat still hurts.. and i've got no appetite.. amazingly i dun really feel hungry.. last nite i only took a bit of abang's share..

Oh well.. shall do a but of cleaning up.. esp my room.. it's a complete mess.. especially the tiny chest of drawers by my bed.. u shld see what i dump on top of it.. earrings.. hair bands.. concert ticket stubs.. movie ticket stubs.. my hp bill which amounted to $56 for last mth.. didn't realise i talked a lot last mth.. my keys.. THAT particular picture of me on the Starbucks couch.. postcards.. and i dunno what else ah..

Then i have to teach tuition later.. luckily sarita cancelled today's meeting.. she wun be free till the week after next.. if not i'll really be a walking zombie..

| 6/24/2004 02:38:00 PM

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Last nite.. i realized lots of stuff..

The value of frenship..

Not that i didn't realize it before.. i really really love all my wonderful gurlfrenz.. dun worry.. there's no lesbian instincts whatsoever..

I'm straight as can be.. Straighter than a rod..

But.. to YOU.. yes YOU..

I dun have to mention who u are.. juz thanks for being there with me..from evening till late at night.. i dunno what i wld have done if u were not there..

U were my pillar of strength last nite.. i wld have crumbled if u weren't there.. for the first time i didn't cry over HIM.. i guess i had half expected it..

U know.. what happened yday.. it really has made me pessimistic.. not over HIM.. but over IT in general..

I guess it's true.. both of us.. with our pride and ego.. will never get anywhere.. maybe ours will be a milder version of Love Me If U Dare..

I really have to thank u once more.. i guess no amt of thanks and words can express my gratitude..

Shld u need me.. anytime at all i will try my very very best to be there for u..

U and all my other gurlfrenz are top priority..

HE can go rilek on corner.. ROC..

HE deserves to be shot..

HE totally has NO respect for me..

Oh well..

I LUB U!!

| 6/23/2004 12:41:00 PM

Last nite was..

It was..

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No no.. wait.. that is understatement.. no amount of words can describe LINKIN PARK last nite..

It was like.. oh mann!! it was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All i can say is $150 was DEFINITELY WORTH IT..

Ok let me tell u a lil bit abt what happened last nite..

Firstly.. let's follow chronological order..

Andi was being an absolute.. prat!! no.. again THAT is an understatement.. he was being a HUGE FUCKING ASSHOLE OF A BASTARD!! and i'm not gonna apologize for that absolute usage of crude language.. cos he deserves it!!

Actually come to think it.. calling him a HUGE FUCKING ASSHOLE OF A BASTARD is still not enuff to describe him.. rite now he's down at the most bottmless pit.. and i hope he continues to sit there!!

And i hope he never get his bike back!! it got towed away yday.. so.. SERVE HIM RIGHT!! let it rot at wherever it is at right now.. U DID THE RIGHT THING MR TRAFFIC POLICE!!!!!!
Ok enuff abt andi..

Firstly i didn't bother to queue up.. juz sat outside the padang till there wasn't any more queue.. so i got in around 8:15.. and i still managed to get a good place.. right in front.. in between the speakers and the stage..

And this silly gal fainted right even before the concert started.. who asked her to stand right in the middle of the crowd?? choose a place that's less crowded ah..

The opening act was cool!! This band from Korea.. i pretty much like their songs.. and Daniel Ong and Sheikh Haikel were.. i think kinda irritating la.. i mean.. GET OFF THE STAGE AND BRING ON LP!!

Haha.. I tell u.. i was like smack in front of the speakers.. it was as if my ear drums cld burst.. and my heart cld juz pop out!! serious!! haha..

And there were couples smooching!! like right in front of me!! i mean.. THIS IS A ROCK CONCERT!! its not a sappy love concert.. *sheesh*..

And we were told that moshing wasn't allowed.. but these bunch of guys did anyway.. in front of me.. i was fine with it.. it doesn't matter.. but then.. there was this drunk caucasian guy.. who came from dunno where and joined them.. so since he was high i expected him to do crazy things la..

So he was moshing around jumping abt like a monkey.. i was jumping abt too la.. den he bumped into me.. and again i was fine with it.. but he apologised.. which was.. ok la.. no hard feelings.. juz do wateva u want.. and then.. he had to get close to me and..

HUGGED ME!!

he wasn't being cheeky la.. i mean.. i dun mind hugs.. i guess it's a way to express ur feelings.. but..

He was a total stranger
His body was sweaty and STICKY
He smelled of beer

Luckily i didn't smell of beer.. if not my parents wld have flipped when i got home last night.. btw.. the cab fare cost $19.. and my parents didn't nag at me for getting home late.. i dun think it's late anyway.. been home later than that before..

And that drunk fella.. he was topless.. then he took his tee and started fanning.. at me and the ppl around him.. thanks ah for trying to cool us down.. haha..

I tell u.. there were all sorts of ppl there.. men in suits.. smart outfits.. women in heels.. women with their handbags.. parents with their kids..

U know.. in the future.. i think it's better to attend rock concerts ALONE.. cos seriously when u're in there it doesn't matter who u came with.. cos u juz loose urself in there.. like me la.. i really screamed to my heart's content.. i jumped like mad..

Sheikh Haikel said the person standing next to us at the concert is our best fren.. but seriously.. these things dun matter once u're in there..

Of course i wldn't mind goin wif my gal frenz.. cos they have seen me at my worst.. at the height of my craziness and stuff.. but if i were to go with a guy.. it really wld be with someone whom i feel totally comfortable and at ease with..

I love chester's hair!! it was like.. ok.. floppy.. but.. NICE!! and the camera was on joe hahn most of the time.. and Phoenix and Brad was awesome too.. and Mike Shinoda..

Haaaaaaa~~~~ *cair*

With the cap and all that..

Haaaaaaa~~~~ *cair*

I like all LP songs.. but last nite.. i guess my faves had to Faint.. Numb.. One Step Closer.. Crawling.. Somewhere I Belong.. Step Up.. and.. yesss.. Breaking The Habit.. cos it started out very instrumental.. and chester's vocals.. when he sang it.. i realised he really CAN sing.. it really was a nice change from his screamings.. i really really loved last nite's rendition of Breaking The Habit..

Kinda pity those who bought the $85 tix though.. cos they were at the back.. like so far away from the stage.. and.. THEY WERE PACKED LIKE SARDINES!! haha.. can u imagine jumpin and hitting the ppl around u?? i dun think they even had any space to move around!! haha..

Oh well.. i'm not good at giving concert commentaries.. juz read the papers for details..

| 6/23/2004 11:57:00 AM

Monday, June 21, 2004

I'm getting paranoid..

Super duper paranoid..

Do u get me??

I AM

P-A-R-A-N-O-I-D

It's either the results are out and i'm not aware of it..

Or they will process it.. later at midnite..

But dun u think it's kinda ridiculous that way??

It's like..

URGH!!!!!!!!!!

How can they make ppl wait like that??

What happens if some of us had already forked out our money??

It's like.. freaking piece of shit!!

*toot*
*toot*
*toot*

And to make things worse.. the gal at the Kodak shop had to say this to her fren:

No.. i've got sch tmr.. den it's ****** ****..

I swear right there and then i cld have dragged her to one corner and have a nice slow talk with her.. and if she refuses to oblige my request..

*bish bish*

I will bash her up.. and rummage thru her belongings.. juz so that i can get my hands on.. THEM!!

That idea DID cross my mind juz now.. like i said yday.. desperate times call for desperate measures..

But i seriously think i have to fork out my own money dis time.. kinda sucky.. but..

What to do..

A girl has gotta do what she has to do..

Dun u think it's tough being a gal??

We spend loads of money.. juz to look good.. i dun think it's vain.. i mean.. of course u wld wanna make urself look pretty and presentable rite??

Cmon mann.. those of u who disagree.. U ARE LYING.. at least i'd rather spend money to make myself look good.. than spend them on other things.. like toys.. collectors' item and what have u..

Some gals spend lots of money on make-up..

For me.. i always spend a fortune on my hair.. yesssss.. monthly treatments come up to $60.. and sometimes i cut here.. cut there.. sometimes.. my hair turns out ugly.. due to dodgy haircuts.. like right now.. i have UGLY FLAT HAIR which only looks nice if i tie it up..

But it's ok.. cos he likes gals who tie their hair up.. *hee*..

Ok.. back to what i was talking abt earlier.. i dun spend a fortune on make-up.. and it's not course i buy cheap make-up.. OF COURSE NOT!! i can't bear the thought of my face turning ugly due to the cheap make-up..

Let me see.. i use Maybelline Foundation.. it makes ur make-up last up to 8 hrs.. for me.. it lasts more than 8 hrs!! haha.. my skin doesn't eat make-up like shake's.. *tsk tsk*.. and maybelline mascara.. L'oreal blusher.. which also stays on my face for the entire day.. and both the blusher and foundation i bought in.. umm.. august last yr?? haha.. and it still hasn't been used up till today..

Avon compact powder and eyeliner.. *hee*.. erra fazira is the spokesperson tau.. then.. oh.. maybelline lip gloss.. heh..

I think i only buy make-up every 6 mths.. except for lip gloss and mascara.. cos i use them so often.. so like every 2 mths buy new ones..

So ya.. guess we gals spend a lot.. but it's juz cos we wanna look good..

Oh fuck!!

This isn't making the situation a whole lot better.. in fact as time passes.. I GET MORE PARANOID!!

I WAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

| 6/21/2004 07:40:00 PM

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Changed the song on my blog.. The Reason was getting kinda stale.. although i really really like that song.. it falls under the list of my all-time faves..

So now it's this song.. gosh!! can't believe i put up a song by a paedophile on my blog!! dun get me wrong.. i DO NOT support any acts of paedophile-ness.. it's wrong.. in fact.. i think it's SINFUL.. a child shld be given a happy childhood.. not one with scars that will remain in his memory for his entire lifetime..

But.. the song is quite nice la.. especially the "roti" part.. haha.. i think that's what he sang rite?? even andi sang it that way..

Today.. went for a wedding with my parents.. at bukit batok.. the moment i set foot at the multi-purpose hall..

*open my eyes BIG BIG and start blinking*

The pelamin damn nice!! seriously very nicely decorated.. BEEE-YOOOOOOOOOUU-TEEEEEEEEEE-FUUUUUUUUULL!! den rite.. the food was so super delicious.. i practically tasted everything.. and not to forget.. the kendarat guys.. haha.. cos the son who got married is a biker.. so i think he engaged biker kendarat?? i dunno.. cos they were all in biker outfits.. and got the kendarat name on their jackets.. JONIS..

Den rite.. they never serve their food in buffet trays.. the food are all placed on small metallic kualis.. really cool!! and the chicken.. SUPER YUMMY!! la la la.. then.. the hadrah.. these group of guys in arab clothes.. cute idea.. but kinda pity them cos it was damn hot!! haha..

But ya.. the whole thing was nice.. now.. if i were to get married.. my wedding will be special too.. maybe i have the reception at a hotel.. tak payah kat kolong blok.. wait the makciks mengumpat.. haha.. and having a wedding reception at a hotel means only closed ones will get invited.. MUAHAHA.. and there'll be a strict dress code.. guests have to turn up PUNCTUALLY in their TRADITIONAL COSTUMES.. esp the guys.. no shirts and smart pants.. i want the entire deal.. baju melayu and kain sampin.. and songkok.. kan handsome gitu..

But of course i need to marry someone who can actually afford all these.. i'm not materialistic la.. but u get married only once.. i hope at least in my case.. so it has to be a grand affair.. esp for me.. the only kid.. actually i know someone who can actually afford my dream wedding.. he has enuff savings..

But..

Haha.. I AM SO SHAMELESS!!

Let's drop the subject abt weddings..

Last nite andi called at 2am.. at a time when i was crying.. cos my mom scolded me.. bla bla bla..

It's juz amazing how a phone call from him can cheer me up.. the thing is.. he will choose to chat abt other things to cheer me up.. but he comforts me over the sms..

I guess nowadays talking to andi will cheer me up.. without fail.. esp last nite.. but he'll be starting sch in less than 3 weeks!! which means he has to change his body clock.. ala.. no fun la like that.. can't chat late into the night..

SHAKE!! I WAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!

I want it even more esp after.. umm.. after.. yeah.. u know..

Ala.. u know how i feel.. i can't pass this chance.. wat's more it was HIS suggestion.. and he's been asking for several nitez.. desperate times call for desperate measures.. shld i really burn a hole in my bank book juz this once??

??yadseut no u teem i od emit tahw oS - for instructions on how to decipher this code.. ASK ME PERSONALLY..

I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!

I know i'm wailing away like a kid.. but if u're stuck in my situation.. trust me.. u'll be tearing ur hair out!! serious!!

Andi asked what kind of ice cream i wanna be.. i told him it has to be Belgian Choc Chip from Andersen's of Denmark.. or Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Brownies.. and that silly fella.. i told him so many times to try Ben & Jerry's but he hasn't done it..

And u know what kind of ice cream he wanna be?? BUTTERSCOTCH.. the tak halal butterscotch.. cos butter is smooth.. and scotch makes u high.. and in his own words.. I WILL MAKE U HIGH WITH MY SMOOTHNESS..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rushed home quickly after the wedding.. cos me and my dad wanna watch Chalte Chalte.. andi found the show sad!! haha.. he actually smsed me with a crying face at the end of his sms.. haha.. wait till he watches Kal Ho Naa Ho..

Well.. that show.. i first watched it in the cinemas.. last yr.. 8th July 2004.. with Farid..

First time i met him..
First ever movie i watched with him..

But no la.. didn't feel *ouch*.. cos at that time i didn't like him that much.. and i didn't know his feelings for me.. it was juz pure platonic relationship.. of course my cousin almost fainted that we actually watched Hindustan for our first meeting.. haha.. more than 3 hrs stuck in the cinema..

But i guess.. i didn't realise.. that was the first time he.. oh well.. i dun wanna get into it.. i heard it from him.. myself.. but.. it's too painful to even think abt it..

Hoho.. i think shake muz be very excited to get back to work this wk.. hee..

Well.. I UNDERSTAND..

Lalala..

I WAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNTTTTTT!!

I musn't give up and persevere.. who knows.. my luck wld change??

Oh.. btw.. does anybody know what it means when ur right eyelid keeps twitching??

I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!

Macam mane ni shake??

I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!!!!

| 6/20/2004 08:59:00 PM

Saturday, June 19, 2004

I woke up at 6 today.. after my mom went to work i slept at 7.. all the way till noon.. but i'm still sleepy!! well.. that's saturday for u.. i mean.. MY saturday.. on the average i'm usually awake for less than 4 hrs on saturdays.. i dunno why either.. my body clock juz functions that way..

That's why i'm seldom out on saturdays.. even if i wanna go out.. it'll be in the evening.. like 6++.. cos i'll be busy sleeping during the day.. and i've already swept the floor.. washed the clothes.. supposed to mop the floor but too lazy.. and my dad hasn't made any attempt to cook.. he's asleep on the sofa.. ok.. fine! we both shall remain hungry till my mom comes back from work..

It's been a mth since i had a tan.. yes.. i wanna go for a tan again!! but it's still the sch hols now.. and sentosa will be crowded with kids.. perhaps doing treasure hunts.. and parents.. screaming away at their kids not to venture too far out into the sea.. and if i were to get a tan.. those ppl walking up and down the beach will be bloking the sunlight..

Maybe i shld go to Tanjung Beach since it's less crowded.. but.. it's like waaaaaaaaaay right in.. like 20 mins from Dolphin Lagoon.. it's like so far from civilisation..

Ok.. the next few paragraphs are juz gonna be conversations between me and shake.. haha.. it seems as if there's ALWAYS something for us to talk abt rite?? haha..

Wah.. somebody returning to singapore ah.. excited tak?? haha.. i know i know.. the other day u told me u were scared.. of what..?? u dunno.. ala.. dun be la.. u shld be more excited.. and kinda nervous.. at least there's something to look forward to at work rite?? tapikan u jatuh sakit at the wrong time la.. shld be next week.. den.. haha.. who knows he might get all concerned.. and.. *woo woo*.. haha..

The other day i told u what to write in the letter.. and now u decide not to pass it to him??!! *toot*.. haha.. actually.. come to think of it.. DO NOT PASS HIM THE LETTER.. YET!! give it more time.. i mean.. like.. see how things go.. if u think u get a positive vibe from him.. then.. u know what to do ah..

What i did.. on 8th June 2004.. will always rmbr that date.. it took lots of guts.. lots of thinking.. trust me.. the entire day i was juz thinking of what to say.. whether it was the right move.. i weighed the pros and cons.. but i guess on my part.. i had the so-called psychic's help.. haha..

I think if i wasn't told what to do.. i wldn't have done it.. up till today.. cos doing that cld either make or break the frenship between.. between me and ****.. i'm not saying i believe in psychic stuff.. but that particular date has been mentioned for more than 2 yrs!! kinda freaky i know..

So u saw it as a positive ans?? u know what.. i'm juz afraid he felt compelled to say that.. but.. at least he kept the interest going.. i mean.. at least he calls.. he doesn't shut up like u-know-who.. and expect me to still be interested..

Although he is pretty ball-less.. at least.. well.. at least the thought of having dinner with me came across his mind..

I dunno.. i like him.. i admit that.. but sometimes.. it feels as if we can be nothing more than frenz.. he has his ego.. i have my pride.. i juz can't help feeling that both of us will purposely go out with other people juz to see if the other gets jealous.. and cos of or pride and ego.. we will not show our jealousy..

U do know i have a points system for him rite?? rite now.. it's way up there.. haha.. ok maybe 8 1/2 out of 10.. cos lately he has been calling often.. smsing at odd hours.. and the chat on tues nite was extra nice.. *hee*.. but dah 3 nitez nvr chat with him.. as in long nite conversations.. he calls during dinner juz to tell me he's in town.. gonna be having his dinner.. ????????????? last nite he called at 1:39 but i was too tired..

So.. do i dare keep quiet.. juz sit back and see what will happend after what i did on 8th June 2004?? i think i will do juz that.. there are juz so many reasons..

For fear of getting hurt again.. i dun want both of us to rush into anything.. for that matter i dun want him to rush into anything when he's unsure of his feelings.. maybe that's what happened to farid.. he suddenly realized that he cldn't cope with it anymore.. not that i was pressurizing him or anything..

And if things dun turn out good.. not only the relationship goes.. even the frenship goes.. he has managed to remain frenz with his ex-es.. but admit it.. it's gonna take lots of guts to pretend nothing happened.. it's gonna be awkward.. and if i can't have his frenship.. i wldn't want anything else..

I think even if we manage to remain as frenz after things take a tumble.. it juz wun be the same.. i can't talk to him the way i do rite now..

So i guess what's meant to be is meant to be.. i shld juz appreciate the way things are rite now.. those thoughts that i entertain.. of us together.. well.. i hope it does come true some day.. but not now.. i guess i'm still unsure.. i still have some skeletons in my closet that i need to get rid of..

Ok moving on to to other things..

Shake!! Macam mane ni?? they still haven't called!! why is the closing date on the 22nd itself?? WHY???!!! ala.. tak boleh tahan!! i wanna know the answer!!

I WAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNTTTTT!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNTTTTT!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNTTTTT!!!!!!

But rite.. like the last time.. my fren.. she got to go on the rd trip.. the person actually caled her at midnite!! so maybe there's still hope?? i shld juz continue waiting till midnite?? ala.. this really really sux.. kalau tak dapat macam mane?? den.. den.. *CRY*..

Ohh.. jealousy.. well.. do u think somewhere deep down inside she feels insecure?? of what i dunno la.. but.. maybe it's cos she's kinda competitive.. unlike us.. like we are so relaxed and stuff.. haha.. and our secret weapons?? hmm.. i dun think i ever want them to meet each other.. i know ****.. i think he'll be attracted to her.. i juz know he will..

Ok enuff of all that..

I HEREBY DECLARE MISS NEETA RAI AND MISS MORLIZA ARE DEAD!! well.. their blogs that is.. DUNNO HOW TO UPDATE IS IT?? and shuqing also.. but at least shuqing tags on my board.. but still..

WHAT IS THE USE OF HAVING A BLOG IF U DUN UPDATE IT??!!

Right.. now i'm really really hungry.. and i'm craving for the ham and cheese croissant from starbucks.. and.. iced grande mocha.. why can't he juz get it for me and come over to my place??

Oh nvm.. i am gonna go read my book now.. well.. actually i'm gonna read the philosopher's stone.. my 1st Harry Potter book!! haha.. borrowed it from my lil cousin yday..

I still dun understand the hype over Harry Potter.. and since shake says reading the book will change my perspective.. i'm gonna give it a shot.. and since such a book can keep someone like andi interested.. well.. i guess.. why not??

| 6/19/2004 02:13:00 PM

Friday, June 18, 2004

Have u heard this new song.. by.. umm.. wait.. his name is difficult to pronounce AND spell.. Kristian Leontiou.. ya.. and it's titled Story Of My Life.. if u guys have not heard it.. well.. DO IT NOW!!

I kinda like the lyrics actually.. pretty sad.. and meaningful.. the other day.. i mean the other nite i was doing some self reflection.. well.. NOT exactly SELF reflection due to the fact that andi was on the other end of the phone insisting that i VOICE OUT MY THOTS..

Apeje that guy!! haha..

But ya.. like i was telling him.. sometimes it feels as if i wasted the most impt time of my life last yr.. and it kinda sux.. cos.. ya.. i went all in.. i gave my everything.. and in the end.. *sigh*.. since i can't turn back the hands of time.. that's why i'm hoping and really really hoping that such a treatment like the one shown in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind exists.. then i'll juz erase memories of him..

Selective erasing of my memory.. then i can walk in the streets without feeling *ouch* over certain things.. then i wun know the pain i went thru.. the ordeal.. i can be happy and crazy with my frenz.. well.. not that i'm not rite now.. but.. at least my thoughts wld not wander to him..

Ok ok.. DREAM ON AZREEN!! such a treatment doesn't exist in real life rite?? well.. actually i know what will make me forget him completely.. if he actually have the guts to answer my qns.. then i will know the truth..

Last time i used to say the truth hurts.. and that's the reason why i dun wanna know the truth.. cos it'll hurt me even further.. but now come to think of it.. THAT is exactly what i need.. the whole truth and nothing but the truth.. only then will i cry my lungs out.. then i will stop thinking of him..

But.. he's not helping.. AT ALL.. what a frigging bastard!!

Ok ok.. i promised andi i shld stop cussing and swearing.. ok not exactly stop completely cos it's kinda hard.. cos sometimes u juz can't find the right word.. so the next alternative is to use a swear word.. i told him that i will cut down on my swearing.. which he totally agreed cos he said i'm always mean to him.. being mean and cussing isn't exactly the same rite??

Andi: Ya u shld stop it.. it's bad.. u're always mean to me..
Me: I'm NOT mean to u!!
Andi: Yes u are!! I'm always the one who is nice to u!
Me: I'm NOT mean!!
Andi: U were mean when u called me ball-less and useless juz now..
Me: Well.. U WERE!! didn't even have the guts to talk to a gal..
Andi: But i'm shy what..
Me: HAHAHAHAHA!!
Andi: Do u know it hurts when u called me useless??
Me: Well.. that's the truth what..
Andi: But still..
Me: Anyways.. that wasn't cussing and swearing ok!!

So.. ya.. i will try to cut down on swearing.. but actually rite.. i can control myself.. it depends on who i'm with.. of course when i'm with my parents i dun swear la.. except occasionally when i really can't help it.. it wld slip out of my mouth.. and if i'm with shake or neeta.. i'm like a swearing machine.. haha.. then with liz.. not all the time la.. cos i know she doesn't like it.. so i repsect it.. and if i'm with my cousin.. or shuqing.. ya.. again i tend to swear a lot..

I know i always call andi a bastard.. and not once has he called me a bitch.. although he sometimes threaten and say that he can use the B-word on me.. am i mean then?? ok maybe i am.. and it's cos.. well.. oh i shall not mention it..

As of rite now.. I AM DESPERATE!! before u start thinking that i'm desperate for a bf.. NO!! OF COURSE NOT!! i'm desperate for something else.. and i mean.. SERIOUSLY DESPERATE.. shake knows what this is all abt.. i really want to get my hands on them.. but.. HOW?? why haven't i heard from their ppl yet?? no this CAN'T be happening..

I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last nite i got jealous watching The OC.. ask shake.. haha.. actually we were smsing each other since dunno what time.. using our mom's hp.. cos both of us dun wanna exceed our sms limit.. so.. haha.. we started asking each other qns..

So shake.. like i told u last nite.. marriage?? no not that far.. but i did see us walking together.. holding hands.. kidding around.. sitting by the beach or somewhere quiet and juz talk.. abt anything.. and if both of us gets tired we wld cuddle up and juz enjoy the silence.. meeting each other's family.. dinner together.. walking around bazaar geylang together.. hari raya visitings together.. and feeding each other.. trying out new eating places.. his voice wld be the first i hear in the morning.. and the last before i sleep.. and he'll be there anytime i need him..

Haaaaaaaa.. *cair*..

And i wld do away with engagement.. cos.. i dun think it's total crap.. it does sound kinda nice to introduce to ppl.. "This is my fiancee ****".. but what's the significance?? isn't it nicer to say.. "This is ****.. my hubby".. haha.. besides what happens if the 2 of u decide to break off the engagement?? wldn't that be a waste of money??

Getting engaged doesn't mean u have been given religious rights to.. umm.. do stuff.. why not juz nikah?? in other words.. juz register ur marriage legally.. the celebrations can be done later.. at least when u're legally married in the eyes of the law.. u can do WHATEVER U WANT!!

See la shake.. ur fault.. now i'm thinking of marriage.. when i dun even have anybody special.. haha..

I wanna get the SHREK 2 soundtrack.. cos the songs are nice.. esp the one by The Counting Crows.. Accidentally In Love.. listening to that song juz gives me a nice floaty feeling.. i mean.. like.. ya.. u juz realise.. "Hey!! I like this guy!!".. isn't it nice?? then u wun be able to stop smiling.. like the scene in Kal Ho Naa Ho when Naina realised he's fallen for Shah Rukh Khan's character.. what's his name?? but juz see the look on her face.. so nice..

U know.. i relish the idea that some day a guy who has been carrying a torch for me for the longest time will admit his feelings for me.. especially if he's one of my closest frenz.. juz imagine..

After a series of heartbroken relationships.. i ran crying to him.. and he's there to comfort me and stuff.. and suddenly he reveals his feelings for me!! haha.. that he's been admiring me since forever but didn't dare to admit it.. haha..

But guys.. take this from me.. it's not wise to do that.. cos during that period.. the gal is at her most vulnerable.. so she might find u sweet and stuff.. and decide to give u a chance.. when she herself is not sure whether she likes u as a fren.. or more than that..

And never ask a gal to be ur gf when she's still in the rebound process.. cos she will realise that she still has not moved on from her previous relationship and wld want out.. and then she will end up hurting u.. i did that.. once.. and it sux.. it wasn't intentional.. and i still regret it to this day..

Shake says i'm quiet when i'm in a large group.. which is true la.. i get withdrawn when there are lots of ppl.. i'll juz shut up and listen to what ppl have to say.. so if u wanna get to know the real me.. dun make me hang out in large groups.. *shy*.. haha..

Ok.. i think that's enuff for today.. i talk too much already.. lalalalala..

*Ta-taz*

| 6/18/2004 10:59:00 AM

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

WoOHoO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha.. had a nice time yday..well.. it was a day full of crap..

Met up with shake at bugis.. and i tell u.. thet woman was juz a walking disaster.. cos we ate at Banquet.. so she had this soup thingy.. cos according to her.. "No fried food".. so after she finished eating she went to eat ice.. the ice from her drink cup.. and dunno how she did it.. the ice slipped and fell into the soup bowl.. so some of the soup got splashed onto her pink top.. so there were orange stains on her pink top.. and i was tempted to take a snapshot of her trying frantically to wipe off the stain cos it was at a strategic spot.. haha.. so she wanted to get a new top.. juz imagine her walking around with her bag covering up THAT spot.. haha..

So people.. next time pls be like me.. get a HUGE bag so that u can put lots of stuff in it.. like extra clothes.. cos u'll never know what's gonna happen.. have u guys ever wondered what's in my HUGE bag that i carry sometimes??

Well.. my make-up set like compact, lip gloss, mascara, eyeliner and blusher.. an extra top juz in case something happens to the the one that i wear.. a box of plaster for blisters or cuts.. sanitary napkins for.. well.. juz in case of emergency.. disposable underwear.. again juz in case there's an emergency.. camera.. yes.. this is very impt.. i never fail to bring my camera with me.. unless i'm out with someone who has a camera.. tissues.. pen.. papers.. and lots of other stuff.. i never pack that HUGE bag of mine.. so whenever i'm out and i need to get somethingi'll be digging and digging AND DIGGING.. haha.. of course there are days when i feel like going really really light.. that's when i use my small sling bag..

Ok.. i've digressed.. what was i talking abt before this?? ohhhhhh.. ok ok.. after looking around for a new top at bugis junction and taka and heeren.. shake FINALLY settled for a top from 77th Street at heeren.. this black top with strings hanging from the sleeve which needs tying..

Oh oh.. we did lots of kuku stuff.. firstly we took the bus to town.. so when we got down there was this macs guy.. let's juz call him another shaik mahmood.. simply because we stood behind him at the traffic light and he kept turning to look.. which was REALLY IRRITATING!! then as we crossed the road me & shake were playing with each other.. which resulted in abus driver honking at us.. but seriously it wasn't as if we crossed the road when it was a red light.. sheesh.. then the macs guy was already quite a distance from us.. then he TURNED again.. then he started walking REALLY SLOWLY.. i thought he wldn't turn back la.. so i juz thrust my middle finger into the air.. and at that point he did TURN AGAIN.. but i dunno if he saw.. cos like i said he was quite a distance from us.. but after that he didn't turn again.. haha.. so i presume he saw my famous middle finger?? haha..

Then there was this time we were walking thru the underpass from mrt to taka.. and u know la.. that place is ALWAYS crowded.. so we were walking behind these 2 guys.. busily eating away.. then i told shake that if we snort he's probably gonna choke on his food.. or at least get startled.. so shake snorted.. no reaction.. she snorted again.. NO REACTION.. so then.. I SNORTED.. a long one.. dunno if it was loud.. but i guess it was la.. cos the place was noisy but he actually TURNED!! haha.. luckily he didn't choke on his food or something.. that poor guy.. i guess he muz be like.. "Are my ears playing tricks on me or did i hear a snort coming from behind?".. and when shake snorted a 2nd time he muz have gone.. "There it is.. i heard it again.. but who in the world wld do that?".. so when it came to my turn he muz be like.. "No.. i REALLY heard a snort..".. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..

Oh.. then we walked all the way from town to ps.. which wasn't far la.. i always do that.. so as we walked pass the istana i told shake we shld attempt to run straight in and see what happens.. of course shake told me we wld be on prime time news!! haha.. then we started shouting stuff like.. "Nathan! u better come out now!".. "Nathan u owe me $2!".. and bla bla.. ok i'm aware that if anybody of high authority reads this i'm so gonna be in deep shit.. but.. hey!! i did it in the name of fun..

We bumped into izati after watching a movie.. she was with a bunch of her frenz.. so yeah.. stopped and chatted for a while.. finally got to see how her ex looks like.. cos shake was telling me he looked as if he was ripped off from some boyband.. well.. he is good looking.. i like his eyes.. but.. hoho.. someone else is better looking.. hee..

Oh oh.. we were using the underpass from shaw to mrt.. and u know orchard has lots of people stopping u to ask u qns and stuff.. and i seldom get stopped.. so i told shake yday that those people didn't dare stop me cos i probably look very intimidating.. and again i spoke too soon.. cos this gal came up to me.. said that her company is looking for new faces.. of course i was like "HUH?".. and she explained some stuff to me.. so basically i gave her my no la.. no big deal.. den yday itself someone from the company called.. told me to come down to their office at taka for 10-15 mins to talk abt modelling stuff.. and i'm supposed to be there at 3 later today.. but i juz woke up and i'm too lazy to bathe.. too lazy to dress up.. to lazy to step out under the hot sweltering sun.. basically i dun feel like going la.. maybe juz to be polite i shld call her up to say i'm not coming..

Again let me say it.. the gal who came up to me muz be BLIND!!!!!!!!!!! me?? a model?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! BIGGEST JOKE OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!! firstly.. yday i looked like a mad woman.. cos my hair was tied up and i've got bits of short hair sticking up and falling all over the place.. and i was in a purple top and black pants and slippers.. which wasn't sexy at all.. and i dun have nice skin.. and.. ya.. basically.. THERE ARE OTHER GALS OUT THERE WHO ARE PRETTIER THAN ME!!

And if i become a model my parents wld flip!! i wld totally understand why anyway.. and besides.. when u do these kinda things.. they do stuff to ur face.. to be specific of course they wld shave ur evyebrows.. and.. it is wrong in Islam to shave off the eyebrows.. so.. ya..

Anyway if u look at the amt of babat that i have.. i DEFINITELY wld NOT pass off as a model.. my thighs rub against each other as i walk.. they aren't slim like those models.. and i dun have nice long legs like those models.. each time i wear a skirt and i take a cab, my mom will tell me to sit properly with my legs closed together.. according to her u'll never know the cab driver might have put a mirror at a strategic position.. but i dun think there's anything to see.. cos when i sit down my BIG FAT THIGHS will stick to each other.. unless of course there are people who gets turned on at the sight of fats..

Yday we watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.. YAY!! finally mann!! i dunno why but i end up watching such shows with shake.. like the last time it was Love Me If You Dare.. these shows have frustrating plots.. which is good la.. it's what i call an intelligent movie.. cos it really keeps me on the edge of my seat.. but at least Eternal was quite easy to understand as compared to Love Me If You Dare.. cos after that show ended we juz sat in the cinema theatre and went.. "WHY?".. haha.. but if u dun like such shows that require time travel and stuff then dun watch Eternal.. i wld rate it as a good movie.. it's not exactly like the Butterfly Effect.. no no.. nothing like that cos Jim Carrey didn't search thru his memory to change things.. instead he wanted to erase memories of Kate Winslet.. who had erased him off hers first! so while getting memories of her erased he realised he didn't wanna do that.. but of course he cldn't escape it.. but.. isn't it coincidental that they shld meet again and like each other??

U know.. i wish i can have memories of a certain someone to be erased.. they were wonderful memories.. and prescisely cos they were wonderful that i feel its better to have them removed.. never knew wonderful memories cld hurt.. contradicting isn't it?? but if such a treatment exists.. i wld go for it.. without a doubt.. it's better that way.. but.. ya.. oh whatever.. dun feel like talking abt it..

| 6/15/2004 02:43:00 PM

Saturday, June 12, 2004

I MISS HIM..

I really really do.. although he has been gone for only like 3 days..

I dunno how to explain it either..

Sometimes.. it feels as if he's juz another fren.. someone whom i can talk cock to.. someone who is full of shit.. someone who is as childish as me.. someone whom i can argue over stupid things with.. someone who can give me his opinion when i need one..

And precisely cos of those things that has made me fallen for him..

Not many ppl know this.. but if u wanna be my guy u haf to be able to hold a conversation.. doesn't matter if it's a serious conversation.. or juz plain nonsense.. as long as we communicate..

And getting to know him more and more.. thru all those late nite conversations.. the more i like him..

Well.. he's irritating.. there's no doubt abt it.. and he fines me irritating too.. and i always call him a bastard.. but.. ya.. i dunno how i ended up falling for him..

I still rmbr.. that very first day.. *starts daydreaming*.. haha..

And he actually knows i like him.. but he didn't freak out.. he didn't run 100km away from me.. isn't that mature of him?? in fact he's very nice abt it.. are the feelings mutual?? well.. kind of.. i mean.. yes.. mutual feelings..

But i'm scared of getting into another painful relationship.. i'm not ready for a relationship.. and he's not ready for us to be more than frenz now.. i respect that.. and both of us treasure this frenship a lot..

I haf the right to fall for someone rite?? but i'm still keeping my guard up.. getting hurt in a relationship is unavoidable.. but juz not now.. i'm not ready to go all out for someone.. get totally involved in it.. but in the end juz to get my heart broken into pieces again..

The wound is still there.. it has healed.. slowly.. but it still hurts.. and even if the hurt disappears one day.. the scars will still remain.. i'm trying my very best to put him behind me.. he's my past.. a very loving guy once asked me if i am going to continue living in the past..

Well.. no.. but the memories.. they were juz too wonderful to forget.. still fresh in my mind.. and cos i was silly and stupid to not let go of the past i hurt this very loving guy.. i drove him away..

So now.. i dun wanna drive HIM away.. i'd rather us remain frenz than to lose him completely.. cos he means so much to me..

FUCK!! i haf to wait for one more day till he gets back..

| 6/12/2004 10:30:00 PM

Abang mas came on his bike yday.. VROOM VROOM.. cos he had to take something from my place.. and he wore pink polo tee!! first ever i see him in a polo tee.. cos he's always in smart shirts.. haha.. actually he looked quite good la..

And juz now i was over at his place.. he was stuck in his room playing computer games for like forever.. so when he decided to come out.. he didn't realize i was there.. so he sauntered into the living room in his super short shorts.. well.. it cld haf passed off as boxers.. haha.. no la.. his legs are like super long.. so even the longest pair of shorts wld look like short shorts once its on his body.. and when he saw me.. he was like.. *oops*.. and he went back into his room and DID NOT come out.. haha.. *shy*..

Ok.. today accompanied shake to an engagement.. her fren's engagement to be more exact.. and since it was an engagement i took the trouble to look nice.. concealer.. foundation.. compact.. lash curler.. mascara.. eyeshadow.. eyeliner.. blusher.. lip gloss and last of all.. a spray of perfume.. i was in a green kebaya..

And i tell u.. the weather was fucking hot that not only was my make-up melting.. I CLD HAF MELTED TOO!! luckily my hair was tied up.. and both of us were trying our best to get to the nearest shady place we cld fine.. in our heels..

Got stopped along the way at tamp interchange by this mly guy selling charity tix.. the way he did it was very funny.. he walked beside us.. like any other stranger.. then abruptly he turned and got on with his act.. haha.. we were not avoiding him and neither were we stingy to donate.. but.. for me.. i've come across these things too many times.. dah macam malas nak layan.. but since he was nice.. and actually said "Boleh la orang dlm baju hijau".. haha.. it was only $2 anyway..

Ok dah la the weather fucking hot.. it didn't help that all these stupid drivers.. ok.. stupid mly drivers in lorries honking at us as we walked past the pavement.. den those mat motors.. nak ride motor tu tengok depan la!! jgn tengok lain!! langgar tiang lampu baru tahu!! tak pernah nampak orang pakai kebaya ke??!!

There was no eye candy at the engagement.. ok la.. got one.. but.. he ain't the type that i go goo-gaga over.. not like.. *ahem ahem*.. and then.. god!! irritating makciks!! we know when to eat la!! and if we didn't want to take pics its our business la!! stop pestering!! i dun mean to sound rude.. but.. they really irritated the hell out of me.. and shake..

Walked around tm for a while.. shake and me thought this top was very nice.. and we were contemplating whether we shld get it.. but.. haha.. we didn't in the end.. we did innocent window shopping.. and at each shop the songs they played were those that i cld boogie too.. luckily i was in kain.. if not.. *shakes ass*..

Yay!! shake wrote me a letter.. wat a sweetie!! was kinda moved by it.. i mean.. ya.. juz certain things.. kinda hard to explain.. but.. oh nvm..

Ok i feel sooooooooooooo full rite now.. i cld puke any moment.. and i'm soooooooooooooo tired.. and my back is aching.. and.. i am fucking restless.. cos there's nothing to look forward to later..

Very sleepy.. will sleep early tonite.. since.. well.. hee hee..

CRAP!

| 6/12/2004 10:02:00 PM

Friday, June 11, 2004

This is my 4th post of the day..

I AM BORED!!!!!!!!!!!

BORED TO DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me repeat that..

I AM BORED TO DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those of u who dun undersatnd let me spell that out for u..

I A-M B-O-R-E-D T-O D-E-A-T-H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ROAR*

| 6/11/2004 02:47:00 PM

What's Your Personal Style Profile?

Decisions, decisions-so many invites to attend to, one job offer after another, so many friends so little time. No problem, you've got what it takes. You're charismatic and popular—the girl on everyone's radar. A mix of smarts, magnetism and sensitivity, you're the total package. Love at first sight can work for you, but so can a good second impression. You're as comfortable in sweats as you are in a suit or an evening gown.

Your personality lights up a room and keeps everyone coming back for more. And you can work out, volunteer, finish the big presentation, find the perfect gift for your pal, and still find time to do your nails and cuddle up with your guy. Face it, you're an overachiever! Girl next door? True friend? Perfect love? Baby, you've got it all.

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| 6/11/2004 02:36:00 PM

What's Your Sweet Revenge?

Telling Secrets

Secrets are secret? That may not be exactly the case in your world or in your defense tactics. While you usually respect the confidence of those close to you, spilling the beans of an opponent can be a crafty comeback. In your eyes, a secret is just a rumor that doesn't have any wings.

Even when you accidentally divulge privileged information, it's probably because you need to relieve yourself of the burden of knowledge or help someone better understand a situation. Some secrets are simply too juicy not to share. And besides, it's not a secret if everyone knows, right? Just don't tell anyone we told you.

Click here to take the test --> What's Your Sweet Revenge?

| 6/11/2004 02:34:00 PM

"Are u here for the photoshoot" asked the MTv personnel..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yes.. that qn was directed at me & sya yday.. well.. do we look like we are dressed for the photshoot?? but it was really flattering la.. cos the guy was standing in front of the lift.. waiting for his supposed model/s to arrive for the so-called photoshoot..

Ok ok.. u guys muz be wondering what were we doing there in the first place rite?? well.. sya called at 10am.. i was still asleep then.. *grr*.. haha.. cos she won the Troy poster and needed someone for company to collect it wif her.. so ya.. i was given the honour.. *bleahs*..

And she didn't know whether it was at Tower 1 or Tower 2.. which actually turned out to be a gd thing.. cos we went to Tower 2 and got asked by that MTV personnel.. who i still think is blind in one eye.. i mean.. CAN'T U DIFFERENTIATE HOW MODELS & NON-MODELS LOOK LIKE??

But come to think of it.. we shldn't have been so honest.. shld have juz said yes to his qn.. haha.. only then will we be brought to the studio.. and both of us can go: WAH!!!!!! SO THE STUDIO LOOKS LIKE THIS AH?? WE DUNNO LEH.. NEVER STEP INSIDE BEFORE.. haha..

And in actual fact sya was supposed to go to Tower 1 to collect her prize.. so the MTV personnel told us to go to the next Tower.. and the timing cldn't be better cos right there and then cos UTT CAME OUT!!!!

Haha.. ok sorry.. that was only a fiction of my imagination.. i still rmbr how Neeta was trying to act out Utt's ass rubbing action on this show called Singapore Sling.. super spastic i tell u.. dun get me wrong.. i LIKE utt.. but neeta's action was.. umm.. *bleahs*..

Anyways.. we didn't see Utt.. one of the MTV staff came out from the office and HE WAS FUCKING CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i think i said that a bit too loud.. although i still dun think so.. but according to sya nobody else was talking at the corridor except for ME.. so.. oh gosh!!

So the cute MTV guy decided to bring us thru the main office that will eventually lead to Tower 1.. WOO!! haha.. so we went thru rows and rows of desks.. wif lots of MTV CREW/ALL ACCESS pass lying all over.. which at that moment had me contemplating whether i shld grab one of them along the way.. stash it into my bag and make a 100 meters dash towards the exit..

But of course i was busy trying to catch up wif the cute guy.. haha.. so we finally got into Tower 1.. explained to the customer service officer what our intention was.. WAH!!!!!!!!! the poster fucking huge sia!! BRAD PITT!! too bad Eric Bana wasn't in it though.. but i tell u.. the poster was HUMUNGOUS!! ohh.. we did try asking the customer service officer if there were any job vacancies.. for part-timers.. it's really gonna be so cool to be able to work there..

So after that we went shopping at PS.. i bought this pink wrap top from e-base.. which is quite sexy due to its EXTREMELY LOW PLUNGING NECKLINE.. actually sya tried it on first.. but due to.. umm.. different degrees of endownments both of us had.. it looked better on me.. and of course i will put on a tube inside la.. and she bought a purple silk gypsy pants.. and the best thing was.. for every 2 item we buy, we get 50% discount!! so i ended up paying only $16.50 for my top.. and sya.. umm.. abt $19 i think.. quite a gd deal dun u think so??

And it was already 5.. and i was supposed to haf tuition at 5.. so...................... i decided to pay the cab fare for both of us.. and i dunno why i went crazy after i stepped out of PS.. u shld ask sya mann.. shouting at the top of my lungs.. even in the cab i behaved like Donkey from Shrek.. "ARE WE THERE YET?" when we juz got into the cab!! haha..

After tuition i rushed home.. cos shuqing was coming.. yeah yeah.. she WAS SUPPOSED to come on wed.. but she chose to.. well.. she made the wrong choice which resulted in her coming only YDAY.. so ya.. we went to the macs near my hse..

1 CHICKEN FILLET!!!!!!!!!!! i was trying to re-enact the macs advert.. haha.. i think i put shuqing thru extreme embarrassment.. hoho.. and i was telling her that i was too tired to eat but i finished up my entire meal anyway.. we took some shots on her new digicam.. VERY NICE!! haha.. so now.. all i haf to do is WAIT PATIENTLY for her to upload it on her computer.. *drums my fingers on the table wif one hand on my chin*..

Then we went to the pasar malam.. which was pathetic.. she got her Ramly burger.. and i got the.. umm.. i dunno wat it's called.. all i know is my dad & me love to eat them..

And on the walk back to my hse.. i started screaming.. and singing.. and we started talking like a nigger.. i was going "But she's ur sista mann".. and she was like "But my sista is an absolute spoilt brat mann".. and we did the hand actions as well.. haha..

So shuqing went up to my hse.. asked her dad to pick her up.. cos if she were to take 22 all the way back to ang mo kio it wld take her abt an hr.. so hee hee.. we sat down and talk cock.. and she took some kuku shots of me wif her hp..

This is me standing in the living room looking kuku

This me standing in the kitchen looking kuku again

Oh heck.. they both look the same.. me looking like a total crap..

So anyways.. wat else to talk abt ah?? oh ya.. i know.. i know..

How do u explain this feeling of.. well u know u've fallen for someone.. but yet at the same time it feels as if u dun?? i know i'm contradicting myself.. but.. ok it's not as if i'm denying myself.. but.. sometimes its as if i like him.. but sometimes its as if he's nothing more than juz a fren.. oh forget it.. i dun even know how to explain it..

As of rite now.. andi is probably busy shopping at kl.. he better get me a gift.. OR ELSE.. ala i miss him la.. can't wait for him to get back on sunday.. den we can chat late into the nite again.. hee..

| 6/11/2004 09:50:00 AM