((** My Life..My Love..My World... ** ))..

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

As i'm typing this.. the beef is being fried in the kitchen.. after which i'm gonna cook my fried rice and add the beef.. YUMMY..

And no lulu.. even if i fantasize abt Zain while cooking.. the food wun get burnt.. i can fantasize that i'm cooking for him.. so everything has to be prfect and nice.. those are attrivbutes of a good wife.. cooking for the husband.. attending to his every need.. make sure he's well fed.. make sure his clothes are clean.. and that he looks presentable when he's out..

Ok.. WHAT THE..?????? excuse my wandering thoughts..

Anyways.. 20?? they only order 20 pieces???????????????

What the bloody piece of maplek!! kotek!! koplek!!

ANNEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't they order more?? esp since they have ppl coming up to them asking abt it?? what are they thinking mann?? do they or do they not know how to do business??

Oh shoot!! it's sya's birthday.. i forgot to wish her in the morning.. cos i was too tired any busy sleeping.. oh well.. later la.. after tuition i'll call her..

Anyways.. ya i know it's been a while since i updated.. busy and no mood la..

Friday.. met up with the kukuz.. no wait.. first i met up with hunny bunny.. for a while only.. then walk walk.. and that's when she told me to get THAT paperbag for neeta..

Then waited for neeta at orchard mrt.. sat on the steps.. that woman was late by.. umm.. 8 mins!!!!!!!! ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha.. no la.. i wasn't angry la.. then it was off to far east.. cos she wanted to get a halter bra.. but in the end she got a bikini.. haha.. very nice know.. cos.. ahem ahem.. it was chosen by me.. haha.. pinkish purplish.. la la.. told her to get those with circles cos they will make her breasts look bigger.. but she refused!!

Then.. we went to eat at sakura.. wanna know what the 2 of us had?? we ordered Pandan Leave Chicken.. super duper yummy i tell u.. then Sambal Sotong.. and Sweet and Sour Prawn.. and 2 plates of plain rice.. cos miss neeta rai was hungry.. so i was forced to eat all those with her.. heh..

While we were eating.. lulu called.. she asked us to get our asses to shake's store.. la la..

U THINK WE CARE??????????

After that we went to take neo-prints!!

There was this really scary lady inside the booth.. she was in there for the longest time.. so me and neeta started peeking la.. wanted to see what she was doing.. ok.. taking neo prints of urself was weird enough.. and then.. she only took pics of her face!!

U know how when we take neo prints at least can see our upper torso right?? but no.. it was juz only HER FACE!! and then.. when she decorated her own face.. she drew thick black lines over her brows so that it looked extremely thick.. and then.. over her mouth.. she coloured it rainbow!! God!! and she changed her entire face to white colour!!

Really!! i'm not kidding!! there was this point in time when neeta was peeking and she started screaming.. i thought the lady had seen her.. haha.. but ya.. very very scary..

The neo prints me and neeta took turned out very nice!! ya.. heh.. very pretty..

Then while we went down the escalator to get to orchard mrt.. naz was on the upriding one.. when he saw me he pretended to be shy.. haha.. whatever la brudder.. so now neeta has finally seen how naz looks like.. cute what.. but he's SEE-NO-TOUCH..

After we met up with liz, lulu and shake.. we went to Banquet.. and i ate again!! it was like barely 2 hrs since i ate at sakura.. i had Hot Plate Udon..

So after eating.. all of us juz sat there.. and talked.. and talked.. and talked.. and laughed so super loudly..

Then we cldn't stop talking abt Zain.. and his dance moves.. i told them to stop.. but they went on and on.. then lulu let me listen to Goyang.. and i was on the verge of tears.. haha.. madness..

On the way back to city hall mrt.. i juz started shouting Zain's name.. haha.. and then i shouted neeta's name.. she was so super embarrased!! haha.. i love doing that to her..

And as usual.. it was only left with lulu, shake and me.. so the 3 of us went to PS.. cos we wanted to show lulu how ali looks like..

Ohhhhhhh.. at SB-PS.. we shared the warm choc cake.. but it was too delicious and nice.. what with the mocha syrup.. we ordered a 2nd slice!!!!!!!! haha.. it was really really yummy.. too nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the way home.. we bumped into.. umm.. syaz (is that her name shake??) and her bf.. then me and lulu alighted at boon keng while shake continued the rest of the journey with them..

And what bad luck cos 65 was full of annehs.. mapleks.. horrible i tell u.. and then sayang called me.. so we ended up talking God knows how long.. alamak!! my phone bill is really hitting the roof!!

Then when i got home.. i quickly bathed.. and glued myself to Today in Athens.. cos got Ronald Susilo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! although i wish he wld stop moving la..

So.. that was friday for u..

Saturday morning.. had breakfast at Beach Road.. cos mom needed to go Concourse to buy stuff.. so ya..

Not many shops were open la.. anyways i had kebab.. details of what i did.. and my conversation with the kebab guy.. haha.. NOT TELLING!!

So i was eating and eating.. when this person wlaked by.. a very tall and lanky guy..

Oh Fuck!!!!

BAIHAKKI KHAIZAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those of u who dunno who he is.. he's the captain for Young Lions.. i've had a crush on him for the longest time.. but it was one of those days that i didn't bring my camera with me.. cos i thought it was gonna be a simple breakfast..

So i cldn't concentrate on my kebab.. even my mom agreed he's good looking.. but i didn't dare go over.. although he was with a guy fren.. but..

*shy*

Then on the way home.. Noreen called.. asked to meet up for dinner.. so.. ya.. i helped out as much as i cld with the wedding preparations.. the curtains.. bed sheet.. and whatever la..

So.. had dinner with Noreen, Nadiah and Eusof at Victory.. when Eusof started talking abt religious stuff.. i quickly tuned off.. even my mee hoon goreng was more interesting.. playing around with the onions and veggies excited me even more.. haha..

Then off to take neo prints.. me, noreen and nadiah stood close to one another.. and that Eusof only stood at the corner.. ala.. whatever rocks ur boat la brudder..

I swear on the train ride home i cld have shoved my slippers into Eusof's mouth.. or even smack his face with it.. cos he started talking nonsense.. and ya.. it prompted me to turn all sracastic on him..

Then went back to nenek's house.. my parents were still there.. they went to East Coast for dinner.. but i stayed with my aunt and Kak Ain..

And they had to bring home bone steak and satay.. ala.. so at midnite.. when everybody was abt to go to sleep.. i went to eat.. and nenek accompanied me.. haha.. after that.. my aunt let me watch this vcd.. got erra fazira and yusry.. forgot the title.. Hingga Hujung hayat.. something like that la..

So my aunt fell asleep but i was up.. till 3 am watching the damn thing.. and after the whole thing i cried!! haha..

I muz be mad!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next day.. i woke up at 8:30.. cos i had a hair appointment at 11am.. i love sleeping at nenek's hse cos.. breakfast is always ready!! i told nenek i only want 2 pieces of lontong.. and she told me.. "ala.. kalau 2 keping jgn makan lagi bagus.. ambik lebih sikit!"

Oh.. abang's parents came to singapore.. so they sent me to paragon for my hair appointment.. after that they went Centrepoint and John Little..

I had protein lathered on my hair.. and a slight trim of my fringe.. when i told hunny bunny abt it.. she was like, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Relax ah babe.. a slight trim only.. i'm not adventurous when it comes to my hair.. absolutely no-no.. one bad hair cut and i will wail like nobody's business..

Cos my hair is my crowning glory.. i firmly believe that a good hair cut.. the right style.. and proper care of the hair can make a person look beautiful.. of course it helps to have a proper skin care regime to prevent pimple break-outs..

Ok.. what the hell am i raving abt..??

Basically.. to all the brudders out there.. if u're wondering why gals dun pay attention to u.. or maybe why i dun bother to layan u.. maybe u shld go get a proper hair cut that actually suits ur freaking face!!

If u wanna get an afro.. make sure u can carry it off la.. if u're skinny with a super small head.. pls la.. forget abt the afro.. it will only make u look like and ikan bilis wif a helmet..

And to all the short brudders out there.. spike up ur hair.. it doesn't actually make u taller.. but at least.. it gives off that illusion..

And if u wanna dye ur hair.. pls la.. dun go all platinum blonde.. that is so super gross!! u're an asian brudder.. asian skin tones aren't suitable for the platinum blonde look.. stop dreaming brudder..

Wanna know what's really really cool?? having a hairstyle like the bassist of Hoobastank.. i can't for the love of God rmbr his name.. but ya.. the blonde lump of hair in the middle.. that wld be cool..

Ok enough abt hair.. haha.. all i wanna say is i love my hair.. and nobody had to fork out a single cent for my hair treatment on sunday..

So after that i popped into John Little to find abang's parents.. and the 1st thing that i saw was.. Pierre cardin Bras!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh fuck!! 2 sets for $35.. they have this new line of comic strip bras.. very the nice la!! but to prevent myself from buying i quickly got out of the place..

Then went back to nenek's hse.. had pear juice.. sour and nice.. then me and kak ain brought my aunt out cos we wanted to get her a lamp as a wedding gift..

In the evening.. the entire family had dinner at Hajjah Maimunah.. except for dad la.. cos he was working.. so from the kids to my nenek.. the food very nice know.. first time ever i ate there..

Then i rushed home to watch dari Studio 1: Ruffedge and VE..

And i felt like grabbing the damn tv.. i was only like 50cm away from the tv.. yes.. that was how close i sat in front of the tv..

As i looked at Zain.. with the extremely cool hip hop gear.. i started having fantasies.. haha.. HIS CHEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually Amer was cute la.. and i'm in love with Azan's voice..but..

ZAIN IS STILL THE HOTTEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liz.. i dunno if he's attached.. it wasn't me who said it.. it was u.. u tagged on my board saying that the guy we were going goo-goo-gaga over was attached.. and i thought u were talking abt amer.. who i can safely say is still single.. and yes.. Zain was definitely looking at us when lulu took that shot.. rmbr my frantic cries and waving juz so that Zain wld look at me?? haha

Then yday.. went to SB-HV.. i tell u.. that place is juz not right for studying.. it juz doesn't give off that vibe.. i can't study there!! maybe it's cos the marquise and warm choc cake kept calling out to me from downstairs.. or maybe it's cos marquise guy was working.. i dunno la.. so in the end i slept there..

Oh oh.. the mooncakes.. when mahathir or mat hadi.. ala i dunno his name la..

He came up asking us to sample the mooncakes.. i only took the espresso roast but he insisted i try the green tea one.. cos according to him.. it's NICE!!! whateverrrr la brudder..

The espresso roast was very.. it wasn't yukky la.. but too strong.. and too sweet.. kinda disgusting.. and the green tea one.. haha.. u shld haf seen me..

I was staring at it.. put it near my face and started inspecting it.. and i smelled it.. haha.. hey!! this is green tea we're talking abt!! so in the end.. i took a teeny weeny bit and put into my mouth.. quite nice la.. but.. ala.. the thought of consuming green tea is too gross!!

So ya.. i guess.. that was it la.. nothing interesting.. i haf to go teach tuition.. soon.. then haf to go nenek's hse again.. ala.. dun want la.. i'd rather stay at mc cafe..

Luckily ronald hasn't proposed to Jiawei.. i'm not jealous la.. trust me.. if ronald opens his mouth.. i wld burst out laughing!! but i wld love to see ronald propose.. then i can cry also..

Ala.. i shld haf been at the airport la.. then i wld sit beside him and start interrogating him..

"Are u F**** in disguise?"
"Why do badminton players haf nice tight asses?"
"When did u realise jiawei was The One for u?"
"Tell me what is so sunattractive abt me?"
"So u believe in keeping silent to get the msg across?"

Ok ok i'm crapping.. haf a wonderful evening ppl!!

| 8/31/2004 04:19:00 PM

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

MISS NEETA RAI!!! WHEN EXACTLY DO U WANT TO GO BRA SHOPPING?? i may be free but u still need to tell me in advance so that i can plan my study timetable.. la la..

I'm having the Triple Decker now.. so super yummy.. if only the guy who made it was yummy.. then everything wld be complete!! haha.. yeah.. Triple Decker from Mc Cafe.. after this gonna haf the Darn Good Brownie from Mc Cafe too.. and as the name suggests.. it is DARN GOOD!!

The food at Mc Cafe very nice.. i haf to say it's nicer than those ta SB.. the 1 and only thing i love to eat at SB is marquise.. and that can only be found at SB-HV which is so super far away.. i shld sleep at my grandparents' more often.. then i'll take 106 to HV..

Awwwww.. i miss those Mc Cafe days.. cos we wld juz sit at United Sq and eat and drink and eat and drink.. but Mc Cafe East Coast nicer la.. esp in the evening.. the beach.. la la la.. nice place to study.. ho ho..

But if u guys want good drinks.. then pls la.. SB is the place..

Yday.. me, liz and lulu went around god knows where juz to get the cd.. but in the end we still haf to wait till saturday for the new stock to arrive.. ala.. whatever la.. anyways.. abang returned my call.. said he wld get it for me.. la la la..

So we ended up going on the Duck Ride.. we were walking at Suntec when we bumped into Liz's uncle.. so ya.. cld get on the ride for free.. the ride on land was a real ZZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzz.. but once it got on the water.. heh.. quite nice leh.. although admittedly it was still very very slow.. and liz was suffering from motion sickness.. and me and lulu were falling asleep.. and i was trying to eat my cheese fries secretly although eating wasn't allowed.. haha..

The Duck tourguide.. Leonard.. very funny guy.. and cute too.. heh.. but ya.. he was very frenly.. nice talking to him.. and the comment he made towards the end of the ride.. very funny leh.. HAHAHAHAHAHA..

Why is it raining?? WHYYYYYYYYYYY???????????? all the more it makes me lazy to go out to teach tuition.. feel like snoozing at home.. but no!! i haf to be there for my student.. exams mann..

Anybody wants to welcome Li Jiawei back next tuesday?? then we get to meet Ronald at the same time.. heh.. ANYBODY??

Ala.. why?? why?? why?? they make such a sweet couple.. i'm more envious than jealous la.. like wat sayang told me yday.. they came here to hone their sporting skills.. never did they realise they wld end up meeting someone..

So ultimately.. does this mean we shld not hope at all?? i think so.. ya.. from now on i wun hope anymore.. it's no use.. i'll only get my hopes dashed.. so ya.. no hope.. no hope.. la la la.. life is easier that way rite?? i wun burst a blood vessel thinking abt stuff.. hoho..

Oh oh.. yday evening.. while i was making my way to East Coast from my student's place.. something smelled bad.. like really really bad.. so i thought no big deal la.. maybe it was dog poo.. or the place hasn't been cleaned for several days.. so i continued walking happily.. singing Khayalan..

And then.. right by the side of the tunnel.. there was..

A LUMP OF SHIT

And it wasn't small.. it was slightly bigger than ur average bowl.. and it wasn't dog poo.. it was human shit!! God!! Eurgh!! gross!! it was light brown and kinda watery.. God!! it was totally disgusting!! and even at 9:30 when i made my way back.. it was still there!! for 3 whole hrs nobody cleaned it!!

I told sayang abt it.. and she said the person who did it muz be drunk.. obviously a kid cldn't haf shitted that much.. can u imagine.. if u were walking in the tunnel then u bump into some adult shitting.. oh God!! yuk!!

Haha.. ok ok.. that was unnecessary info.. i bet all of u muz be so turned off by now.. heh..

DO U THINK I CARE??????!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dig ur nose ppl.. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dig wif lots of gusto!! hahahahaha.. then put ur finger into ur mouth.. ladies and gentleman.. u wun die from eating it.. at least it's salty.. much more pleasant to taste than ur ear wax.. which is very very bitter by the way..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

See i'm starting to crap.. ok STOP IT!!

Now.. i wonder.. what is the size of Z***'s chest?? how big is it?? cos it looks big.. and toned.. and yummy.. super duper yummy.. i've been having visions of myself.. running towards him and snuggling up into his chest.. and he wld put his arms around me.. to protect me.. to make me feel secure..

Ala..

CAIR!!!!!!

Ok ok.. stop it!! stop it!! i'm gonna cry already..

| 8/25/2004 02:27:00 PM

Sunday, August 22, 2004

-still suffering from Z*** aftermath-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told myself i wld change the song on my blog over the weekend.. but nah.. i've decided not to.. cos.. I HAF FALLEN IN LUV.. ummmm.. wif dis song??

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok i'm crying all over again.. tearing.. i can't help myself.. i'm sorry.. i cldn't do it yday.. what wif all my make-up and mascara and eyeliner.. so.. ya..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My fingers are bloody itchy to type out about EVERYTHING.. but since i gave my gurlfrenz my word.. i will NOT divulge anything.. my lips are sealed.. my fingers are in control..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it doesn't help that my mom has gone to jb wif my aunt.. so i'm all alone.. all the more i can scream and shout to my heart's content..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This song is not helping.. the song on sayang's blog is not helping either.. nooooooooooo!!!!!! sayang told me to go mad about other things.. ok fine.. i will.. but puhleeeeeeeeese.. allow me to scream one more time..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok.. wat is it wif men.. who think they can start calling me sayang after juz 1 phone call.. or 1 sms..?? WAAAAAAAAAAT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do i haf "FEEL FREE TO CALL ME SAYANG ANYTIME" plastered on my forehead?? is there a flashing neon sign on any part of my anatomy that give them the right to do so??

Huh?????? huh??????????????

Granted i haf a nice sounding telephone voice.. hunny bunny and sayang kept saying that.. and sayang also said i look sweet.. which i still think otherwise.. but..

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's juz not right!!! i'm fine wif certain guys calling me sayang.. like abang.. and ali.. cos i know they dun mean any harm.. no lecherous thoughts.. but for ppl like shaik mahmud.. and abang bobo..

I say..

Thanks but NO THANKS!!

I can die puking u know..

Ewwwwwww.. i dunno what is it wif me.. i either attract married men.. or guys wif huge eyes who stare and stare and stare.. up till the point that i get worried their eyeballs will pop out ANY MOMENT.. or maybe they need help to close their eyes..

I hate going to the driving centre.. cos the ah peks and malay instructors will stare.. and stare.. and to make it worse.. the mly instructors or those mats taking motorcycle lessons will start whistling.. making funy noises..

What were all those ah peks doing at the driving centre in the first place?? basic theory?? advanced theory?? motorcycle lessons?? God!! i bet they are past 60 already!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the other day i asleep in the bus.. i felt someone sitting beside me but i was too tired to open my eyes.. so when i finally woke up.. this pakcik was looking at me.. no wait.. he was LEERING.. it was disgusting i tell u!! so i gave him a menacing look.. and i think he had no shame AT ALL cos he CONTINUED to leer..

And when i stood up to alight.. he actually sniggered and asked if i wanted to alight.. like.. DUH!!!!!! i dun press the bell and stand up juz to sit again and get back to sleep rite?? and i know how to get down the bus.. thank u very much..

I woke up at 5:30 am juz now.. cos i was super duper hungry.. yday i only had a piece of keropok.. hot fudge sunday.. iced tea.. and chocs.. so i got up at that unearthly hour and started eating rice.. then a few hrs later.. everything came out from my throat..

Let me make it clear that i didn't force the food out of my throat.. it juz came out.. very horrible feeling u know.. so now i know better than to eat rice at 5:30 am..

Yday.. i swear my slippers wld haf gone flying to the 2 fellas in green.. standing right in front there.. and they thought they were oh so very funny.. seriously funny i laughed till my sides ache.. hur hur..

Wat is it wif all those managers and PRs?? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!??????????? if the guys wanted us to come down and stand smack in front.. then.. LET US LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! super fucking KOPLEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jgn nak action bedek..

Hey!! the last part rhymed!!

I juz listened to the 2 recordings on my phone..

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..

Now i'm laughing myself silly.. listening to all the noise.. and my screamings..

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..

Pardon me.. i can't help myself.. i'm cracking up listening to my own voice.. this is hilarious.. i'm really a nutcase..

Eh neeta.. set ah.. u and me.. brazillian wax.. anytime mann.. i'm game for it.. hehehehehehe..

God!! this is hard!! i'm really trying my very very best to control myself.. i dun wanna divulge too much.. but it's not easy.. ok.. chill azreen.. cool it..

Oh fuck!!

EVERY SINGLE BLOODY BODY MOVEMENT.. DANCE STEP.. SMILE.. EVERY SINGLE THING IS CLEARLY ETCHED IN MY MIND..

TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apasal la aku tak boleh jadi timah??

WHYYYYYYYYY???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

| 8/22/2004 01:31:00 PM

First appearance..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! radar.. alarm bells.. the marching band.. EVERY SINGLE THING THAT PRODUCES NOISE WENT OFF IN MY HEAD..

Stood there waving wif the SUPER dammit smile..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOTTTTTTT!!!!! HOTTTTTTT!!!!! CAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got into position and started singing..
Oh fuck!! this is not happening!! i can't believe it!! nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Sekarang mereka akan menyanyikan Goyang"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got into position and strutted his stuff..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! JAAAAAAANGAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!

-me practically crying and fanning myself-

He continued to dance..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP ITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN MOOOOOOOOOOVE ANYMORRRRRRRRRRRRRRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUZ DUN DO ANYTHIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! URE SENDING ME INTO A FRENZYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-me smsing andi telling him he's NO LONGER NO 1 on my hot list-

Sat on the stool 2nd from right..
Wah!! so stylo!!

He did nothing while the others sang..
ALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN WHEN U SIT I CAN'T STAND ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY????????

Tipah Tertipu..
COME UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JANGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-me frustrated and angry-

Z****************************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Z**********************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-me wanted to cry again-

Z************************************************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tipah Tertipu again..
Z*********************************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Z*********************************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ITTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN SING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN MOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN WAAAAAAAAAVEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUN DO ANYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bowed and smiled at the camera..
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! U CAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNT GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Ini ada pengumuman penting.. R******* akan menemui peminat mereka di reception"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AKU NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE UR ASSSSSSSSSSS LIZAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Z*** and the guys at the gate..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PANDEMONIUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOTAL CHAOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Z**********************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-waves-

Z**********************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-waves-

SNAP LULU SNAP!!!!!! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got into the cab all 4 of us..
THERE'S A KL REGISTERED VAN IN FRONT OF US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY ARE THE WINDOWS TINTED?!!!!!! WHY ARE THE WINDOWS DARK?!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS THE VAN MOVING SO FAAAAAAAAAAST???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOVE UNCLE MOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEE!!!!!! WHY IS THERE A CAR IN FRONT OF US???????? OH MY GOD UNCLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO LEFT!!! GO LEFT!!!!!!! STOP BESIDE THE VAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

-all 4 of us staring into the tinted van-

-a hand waved at us-

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S Z***************!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

-all 4 of us waving furiously-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLOW DOWN UNCLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLOWWWWWWWWWW DOWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-all 4 of us continued screaming at the top of our lungs-

-all 4 of us waving like mad-

-all 4 of us rocking the damn cab-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok i wld like to end off this post by apologising to the poor boy who was sitting diagonally in front to liza's left.. i'm sorry for bursting ur ear drums.. i'm sorry if i gave u a traumatic experience.. u're probably not gonna attend such stuff again.. i'm really really sorry.. i cldn't help myself.. and i know.. my voice came out scary.. i'm sorry.. i was on the verge of tears and frustration.. i'm really sorry kiddo.. juz bear my face in mind.. so that next time.. u can tell the crew to put me right in front so i wun damage anybody's eardrums..

I wld also like to apologize to the cab uncle.. as the president of the Kukuz Club.. our behaviour in the cab was uncalled for.. but uncle.. u haf to understand.. it was a once in a lifetime thing.. our hormones were raging.. we cldn't help ourselves.. we dun promise u that we wun repeat such a thing again.. wat we can promise u is................................

WA CAYA SAMA LU UNCLE!!!!

U ROCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

| 8/22/2004 01:13:00 PM

Saturday, August 21, 2004

I have not blogged for a few days now.. sori la..

BUSY..

Haha.. actually.. no..

LAZY..

Ewwwwww.. my saliva got splattered on the computer screen.. haha.. been coughing for 3 weeks now.. but it's getting better?? haha.. not as bad as last time la.. but wait.. after the recent thursday evening.. i think my cough might deteriorate again..

Anyways.. yday.. i met up with shuqing.. had to take some stuff with her.. i wished i hadn't made her wait.. cos while waiting for me to arrive at City Hall.. she popped into Esprit.. and then.. she had to drag me in.. to make it worse..

SALE!! 20%!! 30%!! 50%!! 70%!!

She showed me some nice tops.. of course i told her to quickly but whatever she wants so that we cld get out of there.. FAST!! but no.. she took dunno how long.. and stupid me went wandering around.. and saw the green halter bra..

It was the 1 AND ONLY left.. and it was nice.. but size L la.. kinda big leh.. but it was very very nice.. and since it was a halter it doesn't matter if it's a size bigger.. cos afterall can tie tight tight wat.. but i was a good girl and managed to resist the temptation.. despite it being cheap.. about $28 after discount..

Ok.. then while we were in the queue to pay for shuqing's purchases.. i saw a very nice Esprit tank top.. and for the 1st time ever.. me and shuqing agreed that the green one is very nice..

Hey.. it's like really really rare and seldom that we agree on something.. cos ya.. our tastes are completely different.. so i stood there and stared.. and picked it up.. and stared.. and put it against my body.. and then put it back.. and took it back.. and stared.. and walked one round around the round table.. and stared at it again..

Oh what the heck.. i succumbed to temptation and bought 1.. and so did shuqing..

Great!! Now we haf the exact same tops!! Juz great!!

Haha..

Actually i didn't regret buying it la.. it's nice.. and simple.. besides so many ppl haf been saying that i look good in green.. so.. ya..

My hunny bunny said i'm getting prettier.. more attractive.. eye-catching..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

TALK COCK!!!

I'm actually very excited abt today..

TIPAHTERTIPU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it!! i'm looking at the tix.. today IS the 21st august rite?? hahahahahahahaha..

So wat will i be wearing today?? me and sayang will be wearing..

GREEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mine will be a navy green top.. haven't worn it in a long time.. the last time i wore it was during the Blue signing.. which was.. in.......................

Anyways.. i'll be wearing a skirt.. heeeeeeeeeeeeee.. so feminine rite??

Speaking of which..

Sayang told me that the green top i'll be wearing today will further emphasize my breasts..

??????????????????????

Ok.. let me tell u the trauma i went thru.. the female kukuz met up yday.. had dinner.. talked abt lots of stuff.. then it was left only me, sayang and lulu.. honestly.. i dun think my top was tight.. i wasn't wearing a push up bra.. it was my normal magnetic bra.. which was bought a yr ago..

But.. sayang and lulu had to go on and on abt how big my breasts were.. god!! they said it was perky.. pert.. "healthy" looking.. and they said.. in school.. underneath the uniform it was 1-2.. even when i wore a sling bag and the strap splits my breast in the middle..

But yday.. they said.. my breasts are now.. 1...........2.........

God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was total TRAUMA!! and they were giggling and laughing..

MY BREASTS ARE OF A NORMAL SIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I shall not bother revealing wat size it is on my blog.. but.. hey!! it's in the middle range..

Ok whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........

I will still wear the top later.. but i'm gonna try to make my breasts less obvious..

I received my bill for July.. $50.44.. i dunno if that's a lot.. ok it is.. usually my monthly bills dun exceed $40.. last month i didn't exceed my sms quota la..

SURPRISING EH??

If last month's bill already came up to $50.44.. i dunno abt this month.. besides smsing.. i've been talking a lot.. to sayang.. shuqing.. liza.. andi.. ala.. i'm addicted to talking on the phone la.. i can't help it.. i'm not a chatterbox.. but.. there's like always something for me to talk about.. and it doesn't help that i'm seldom home.. if not i wld have used my home phone..

So.. la la la..

What else ah??

Oh shit!! i need to get ready.. supposed to meet the gals at 6 at toa payoh.. which means i haf to leave home by 5:15.. and i still need to iron my top and skirt.. and put on make-up nicely..

I HAF NOT REPLIED SAYANG'S LETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I replied it halfway.. fell asleep last nite..

And dad's cooking in the kitchen.. la la la..

And andi.. thx ah for damaging the pic.. that idiot.. he had to tussle wif me over the pic.. so now there's a dent on it.. like a line.. stupid stupid stupid.. he cld haf easily waited for me to take it out from the bag rite.. but no.. he had to grab it..

Oh.. what is GRAB in malay??

And i swear.. if he had touched my nose.. or jentik my lips on thursday.. i wld haf smacked that precious face of his.. but i was being irritating la.. cos he asked where i got the tix from.. and i kept telling him that i got them from my nose.. and i kept sticking my tongue out..

But..

If his face is precious..

SO IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And thx ah.. for laughing at me for 5 whole minutes.. wat i did wasn't funny wat!! since u found it funny.. wellllllllllll.. u haf a sad life mister.. hahahahahahahahahaha..

Watever rocks ur boat andi.. wateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....................

Ok ok.. haf to go.. i dun wanna be late..

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

| 8/21/2004 03:45:00 PM

Monday, August 16, 2004

WORLD NO 9 IN THE BADMINTON ARENA BEAT THE WORLD NO 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well.. that's all my reaction.. cos i was at a loss for words..

I didn't get to watch the match.. cos.. well.. dad was watching the chelsea vs man utd match.. actually he was asleep.. then around 11:45.. during the crucial time.. he had to wake up.. grrrrr.. so my initial hopes of being able to watch ronald susilo perfoming on court were dashed..

So i called my sayang.. while we talked on the phone she told me what happened on court.. when she told me that ronald was makin the china guy run about in the 1st set.. and that ronald had won the 1st set.. i thought it was a good strategy..

But then.. when ronald was leading during the 2nd set.. and it was match point for him.. wah.. u cldn't believe how excited i was.. how my heart was thumping.. i mean.. i wasn't doubting his skills la.. but what are the odds of winning the 1st 2 sets in a row when u're up against the world no 1?? and it was ronald's 1st match in the olympics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I bet the China ppl are unhappy.. ok.. i shldn't say that..

Anyways.. throughout the phone conversation.. my sayang had to say that ronald is UGLY.. and he shld juz keep his mouth shut.. and that he has BIG TEETH.. and that he only looks good from the side..

Ok.. whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. whatever rocks ur boat sayang..

All i know is when i leave the house later.. i'm gonna get every bloody newspaper i can get my hands on..

RONALD SUSILO!!!!!!!! U DID SINGAPORE PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!

I LUB LUB U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLS ALLOW ME TO GO ON 1 DATE WITH U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

| 8/16/2004 06:20:00 AM

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Wld i date Ronald Susilo??

Yes i wld..

Right now.. me and sya are having a debate.. she says i'm from another planet cos i find Ronald Susilo good lookin.. i mean.. i know he's not like hot hot.. but.. ok wat!!

Well.. to each his own..

Dun u think he resembles Ronald Susilo?? and their interests and skills and discpline in badminton.. so uncanny..

If u know who i'm talkin abt.. well.. juz keep it to urself..

It's funny.. talkin and thinkin abt him doesn't hurt anymore.. guess the coincidental meeting on the bus did good for me.. and i'm really really glad it happened..

So back to the topic of me dating Ronald Susilo..

For a start.. he IS good lookin.. guess his badminton skills are a turn on.. oooh.. he SO turns me on.. haha..

I go for sporty guys.. well.. not like really really sporty.. cos wait they wun haf time for their gfs.. juz someone who keeps himself fit.. jogging.. or maybe to the gym.. and no.. pls dun let him have bulging muscles.. that is a turn off!!

I used to love touching his muscles..

Hahahahahaha..

Actually.. there IS a guy right now.. so many things abt him juz turns me on.. but.. i dun see us going in THAT direction.. too bad la.. although he never fail to send me into a frenzy.. but.. no la.. cannot la.. i juz dun see it happening!!

Oh.. today.. i did lots of cleaning up.. threw away loads of stuff.. it really felt good.. like a whole weight was lifted off my shoulders.. cos ya.. it's time for a new beginning.. too many things haf happened.. and partly cos i get paranoid easily..

So now.. i'm only left wif my hair.. need to do smth to it.. perhaps make it glossier?? cos there is NO WAY i'm gonna cut it.. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! it took me dunno how long to grow it.. so.. ya..

Besides i need to look good for my aunt's wedding..

And that reminds me.. i dunno if the weighing scale was lying.. but..

I WEIGH A HEFTY 65KG!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

I dun wanna look fat for my aunt's wedding.. wait can't fit in the kebaya.. no.. i think the weighing scale was definitely lying.. i've not been eating much for the past few days..

And now noreen is telling me that her room mate is having the time of her life at the hoobasatnk concert at kl..

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

She didn't haf to tell me that.. i didn't go yday ok!! partly cos i had to attend a relative's wedding at jb.. and partly cos i didn't know most of hoobastank's songs.. kinda stupid to attend the concert rite??

Wah!! the house fucking nice mann!! so jealous..

When i marry a rich guy.. i can live in a nice big house.. with a pool.. a garden.. a bowling alley and pool room.. a gym..and 3 kids running around..

Hahahahahahaha..

Mann!! i wanna watch the badminton match at 12.. but.. there's a chelsea vs man utd match on ESPN at 11..

Last time i used not to mind.. cos i can easily watch in my room..

But..

Thanks to mom.. who gave away my tv to my aunt.. now i haf to fight for the tv!!!!!!!

It happened exactly a week ago.. when i got home from the fireworks festival.. i realised there was a HUGE SPACE in front of my bed.. i know la.. i dun sleep in my room now except for fri and sat nitez.. but still..

I hope dad falls asleep while watching the match.. then i can change the channel.. no wait.. that's not a good idea..

U know how some ppl haf a knack to wakeg up when someone changes the channel?? that's my dad for u.. then he wld roar and grumble and insist i switch back to the previous channel..

HELLO!!!!!????? THE TV WAS WATCHING U!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh ya.. bumped into liz juz now.. kinda surprised.. cos i didn't know if it was her..??

Hahaha.. but ya.. liz.. hope things go well.. kinda excited for u..

Ala.. how?? how?? i wanna watch the match.. ok fine.. i shall call shaikhah when the match is starting.. then she can give me a blow by blow account of what happens on court..

But not the same la.. can't see Ronald Susilo.. but it's better than nothing rite??

I miss my sayang already.. will call her later.. hee..

Hohoho!! Merry Xmas!!

| 8/15/2004 10:26:00 PM

Thursday, August 12, 2004

The President of The Kukuz Club has an announcement to make..

I have decided to recruit the 1st ever member into our club.. cos the 5 of us are committe members wat.. so ya..

This initiation ceremony will hopefully be done on the 9th September..

All details of this new member is being kept confidential.. so.. ask me personally if u wanna know..

So today.. well.. finally my wish was fulfilled..

Anyways.. all i wanna say is..

FRIENDS.. FOR NOW..

And i'm dead serious.. i'm sick of being on a roller coaster ride.. but i melted la.. a bit.. haha.. la la la.. ok

STOP IT!!!!

Oh oh..

ME & SHAIKHAH TOOK A PICTURE WIF UTT!!!!!!!!!!!

This is like the 4th time i took a pic wif utt?? no.. 5 times?? i dunno..

We were hanging out at SB-PS.. and he was there too.. at the counter.. so i stood beside him and juz said hi.. he was kinda thin though.. but he still looked goooooooooooooood.. and he was nice and sweet.. oh la la.. so ya..

EAT UR HEART OUT NEETA..

And i shldn't haf said that juz now.. i sure hope ali wasn't serious.. if not..

Alahai.. mati la aku!!

Ok ok..

Yes sayang.. i wun pin my hopes on him.. not now.. maybe 5 yrs later.. but now..

FRIENDS..

Nothing more nothing less..

| 8/12/2004 10:40:00 PM

Monday, August 09, 2004

Juz watched Singapore idol..

Welllllllllllllllll..

Hmmmm.. i shall not comment anything.. i mean.. it did take a lot of guts to go for the auditions.. but.. didn't those ppl know that they are gonna be featured on national tv?? pls la.. dun make an extreme fool of urself.. like the careless whisper guy.. and the fella who sang AND danced to lemon tree.. oh oh.. and that guy who did the Gareth Gates song..

Ok.. speaking of Singapore Idol.. i still can't get over the fact that Haikel looks extremely familliar.. it's as if i've talked to him before.. but i really really can't recall from where.. IF haikel turns out to be someone i know.. well..

Can't Singapore get any smaller than this?? i shall not even bother listing down the connections i've gathered so far.. it seems like ppl know one another.. it WILL definitely be a whole long list..
And speaking of list.. i have an announcement to make..

As 2354 hrs on Saturday, 7th August 2004.. i striked out the last standing pin.. that means.. my list of hotties went down to zero.. u read that right.. ZERO..

But.. at around 8pm yday.. someone made his way in to my list..

It all started when me and shaikhah were waiting for the train at dhoby ghaut.. i felt a hand smacking my thigh.. the platform was crowded and i was talking away to shaikhah.. of course when i felt the hand on my thigh.. i looked down..

Before u guys start to imagine the worst.. well.. it was actually a small lil toddler in the stroller..

Awwwwwwww..

He really was such a cutie!! indian.. very soft curly hair.. nice curled lashes.. HE WAS SO BLOODY CUTE!! so the both of us started smiling and playing with him.. and there were times when he pretended to be shy.. haha.. cos shaikhah was makin funny faces..

And we got on the train.. and he was told by his parents to say hello.. so he started touching shaikhah's hands.. then mine.. that was his way of saying hello..

Ala.. really really really very cute!! i fell in love with him instantly.. ala.. so cute.. i felt like hugging him and kissing him..

So the 2 of us went for the Fireworks Festival.. we didn't want to walk thru city link.. and marina square so we decided to alight at Raffles Place.. oh God!! ppl were juz EVERYWHERE!! so while making our way from fullerton.. past the damn bridge.. crossed the road.. the esplanade.. and what have u.. my sayng held my hands all the way..

Ala.. CAIR!! haha.. i knew many ppl were staring at us.. cos firstly.. we made a lot of noise.. and we juz held hands all the way.. with shaikhah leading the way.. and occasionally when we saw certain stuff.. we went: WHY???????

Anyways.. our view of the fireworks were blocked by the damn esplanade!! with all its thorns.. super duper fuck u know!! cldn't they make the fireworks go higher?? or bigger??

IRRITATING..

And we wanted to walk to marina promenade.. negotiating thru the crowd was worst than being in bazaar geylang.. it was shaikhah in front.. then me.. and this grp of mly gals were behind me.. and one of them held my shoulder.. ok.. fine.. but my temper started to emerge cos the fucking apek in front of shaikhah.. and whoever la.. they didn't know how to squeze their way thru!!

Let me tell u.. me, shaikhah.. and the mly gals were juz shotuing and cussing.. call us uncouth.. but we were stuck in there for dunno how long.. and it seems everybody else were moving except for US!! our cussing session lasted for almost 30 mins or so..

So finally we got to the carnival.. the rides were kinda pathetic.. besides it was crowded.. so we bought cornetto's.. and walked all the way to city hall..

Ok.. before we went for the festival.. we actually met up at SB-PS.. so we decided to go back there again.. so.. ya..

Basically.. after yday evening.. i realised..

I have met all kinds of ppl the moment i stepped out of school.. ppl from all walks of life.. sometimes it's scary.. disappointing..

I know.. the world is HUGE!! there are really all kinds of ppl out there.. but when i actually saw and experienced things for myself.. it definitely hit me hard..

But i guess.. it's thru all these discoveries that i've become more mature.. i've learnt a lot in the course of 8 mths or so.. sometimes a nice person might turn out to be a not so good person.. sometimes a person with a low education turns out to be someone who is extremely nice and articulate..

Sometimes.. someone who is as irritating as hell.. someone who is full of nonsense and shit.. is in actual fact completely shy.. and considerate.. and makes me hit the roof and start roaring when he didn't do anything wrong..

Ok.. i shld stop it.. i have been at it for days now..

Shaikhah.. will Mr Hottie in white with a dammit smile ever fall for the chubby but pretty gal in blue?? WILL HE???????????????

Ok.. this is juz God's test for me.. i can juz leave things in the hands of God.. whatever happens.. i know it's for my own good..

And so.. i engaged in lots of retail therapy..

Friday.. i bought 2 sets of pierre cardin bra and panty.. cos they were parctically screaming:

AZREEEEEEEEEEEN!!! BUY US!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE ALL URS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE USSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

So i cldn't help it but grabbed both of them.. and when i got home.. i realized.. i didn't know how to put them on.. cos they were those with straps that can be worn in the unconventional way.. so i sought mom's help.. haha..

And.. oh oh.. i bought a panty with this ring on the left side.. and another 2.. had a chain on the front.. it has 'P' and 'C' hanging on it.. and also a lock and a key.. haha.. ooooooooh.. i'm getting ranuchy!!

Speaking of bras.. shaikhah took a pic of my breasts.. we were standing outside PS.. and she took a shot of my breasts..

And then.. Saturday.. i went to ikea.. and i bought 3 pillows.. very cheap.. $5 each.. so i bought pink, lime green and yellow.. and then.. finally i bought the crescent moon and heart lights..

U know.. those nice ones that they put in kids room?? each cost $15.. and since i had wanted to get them for the longest time.. i dumped them into my trolley.. then i realized the bulbs were sold separately.. so i bought the bulbs as well.. $15.90..

And today.. i bought myself a new pink sling bag.. which i'm gonna use tmr..

RETAIL THERAPY IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now.. i have to wait till monday till i get $230 from my student..

Oh oh.. saturday evening shuqing came over after church.. around 8:30.. cos my hse got pasar malam.. and she loves such things.. so i picked her up from the bus stop near my hse.. after he constant squealings of help.. she was afraid she wld get lost.. oh whatever..

Then we bought some food.. and sat at the void deck and had dinner.. quite nice.. it's been some time since i saw her.. so ya.. definitely very nice.. after that.. then we walked sorund the pasar malam.. bought some more food.. made her try this crispy on the outside but soft on the inside fish crackers..

So around 10.. we sat at the bus stop.. cos she cld take 22 home wat.. and ya.. lots of laughter.. and screamings.. and criticism..

Ok what else ah?? were there any more things that happened since friday?? actually got la.. but i dun see the need to post about them here..

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! the guy working at Pastamania was damn cute!!!!!!! cos we were at Giant Parkway Parade today.. and i didn't wanna go in so i sat outside..

Ok.. he kept looking at my direction.. so i searched around my area thoroughly for any gorgeous babes but there weren't any.. so in order to divert my attention away from him i called shuqing.. i chatted with her for a while but it still didn't help..

Then i called shaikhah.. and i told her abt him la.. and she was giving me instructions.. and i followed her instructions.. but.. ala.. dunno la.. i smiled.. and he looked ok.. but he didn't smile back..

But he was cute la..

EYE CANDY OF THE DAY..

I need to do something to my hair.. cut my fringe shorter.. and maybe pamper it with some treatment..

Now.. if any of u can read in btwn the lines.. u wld know why i wanna do that..

I'm really scared of losing a very nice fren.. i hope this fren of mine knows how much i treasure this frenship.. i hope this fren of mine knows how much i care.. i hope this fren of mine wun change.. i'm really scared.. i miss the good old wonderful times.. i dun wanna seem preachy.. or irritating.. or obsessive.. but i really care.. i really really do.. dun change dun change.. i know u're not like that.. pls.. u're fine the way u are.. i'm here.. i will always be here for u.. 3 or 4 am.. u can have my company anytime.. juz pls.. dun change..

| 8/09/2004 11:02:00 PM

Friday, August 06, 2004

I'm a walking contradiction..

I juz told shaikhah 10 mins ago that i dun wanna update.. but here i am.. doing this..

It's cos.. u guys know i do lots of thinking rite?? but.. yday.. AFTER an entire day of pure absolute fun and madness.. things suddenly came to a standstill.. so i sorted out my thoughts..

Shld i bother updating abt what we did yday?? cos shaikhah has already done it.. but i dun think it's not good enuff.. haha.. the president is still the best!!

Ok no.. i shall NOT bother.. i'm tired.. of what i dunno.. cos i was up till very very late.. i got so stressed that i immersed myself in pure math.. u read that right everyone.. PURE MATHEMATICS..

So.. i think there are certain things i shld be able to decide by myself.. yday i was told:

"U made the decision first before consulting me"
"Cos i dun think it's a big issue"
"U think u are all grown up?"
"NO. That's why i still inform u of my whereabouts"
"Why didn't u call me?"
"I was out with my frenz! U knew that"
"It wld take less than a minute"
"I know. But i already smsed u"
"But still u dun tell me it's so hard to call me?"
"I was in a noisy place. Besides i didn't know dinner was so impt"
"It's cos i see u running abt. Tuition. Making time for frenz"
"So?"
"And i'm scared u're not eating well. I dun mind u going out"
"Ya. So what's the deal? I eat when i meet my frenz! I dun ask u for money!"
"And then when u get home u dun eat and sit in ur room"
"I NEED TO STUDY!"
"With the door closed?"
"Yes! Cos i blast the stereo. And u find it loud!"
"But it feels as if i dun see much of u these days"
"It's cos u have been busy coming home at 9. I cook dinner. I clean the house. I do the laundry. I dunno what else u expect of me. I go out. But i'm back by a certain time. I know u have no curfew for me. But i dun need u to give me a curfew. I've always tried my best to balance btwn family and frenz"
"U know i get home at 9. And leave early in the morning. And we dun see much of each other. So why do u still have dinner outside?"
"I have to eat when i'm out. Besides i HAVE been home for dinner the past entire week or two!"
"But today ur dad didnt finish dinner cos he wanted to pick u up"
"I already told u i dun need ppl to pick me up. I can go home by myself. I'm capable of that"
"See u are acting all grown up"
"Give me space. I still respect u. If not i wld have been rebellious. It's juz that there are certain things i can decide for myself"
"So u think this isn't impt?"
"U are blowing it out of proportion. I already told u i dun need dad to pick me up. I wasn't hungry anyway"
(stared at me)
(me start blinking profusely cos i felt like crying)
"Aren't u tired of running around? U teach lots of tuition"
"I AM tired. But what can i do? I dun wanna be using ur money all the time. I can manage"
"And ur studies"
"I can. Trust me. I've been thru this before"
"Whatever it is i want u to be at home tmr. Either that or no go this sunday"
"Ok i will stay home tmr if that's what u want"
(stared at me and went to the kitchen)
(me looking at the damn tv)
(walked past me and stared daggers)
(whatever la)
(went to bed)
(me switched off the damn tv and washed up and studied)

I dunno.. i didn't want to ans back.. but i had to.. i dunno what else i shld do.. i have been a good girl.. i'm tired of all these.. juz cut me some slack la.. i wasn't angry la.. but.. enuff is enuff.. dun blow things out of proportion..

But i guess we are too alike.. that's why we clash.. our stubbornness.. we haven't exactly been getting along.. esp when i was a kid.. but she's cool la.. but.. oh whatever.. maybe it's juz one of her days..

If u wanna get to know me.. dun ever ever ask me to join u in a crowd.. juz dun.. i may do things spontaneously.. but i dun get to know ppl spontaneously.. i may be mad.. i may do things on the spur of the moment.. but i do have a level of shyness..

But it was ok la.. wasn't nerve wrecking.. actually.. within the space of 2 hrs.. i gained a better insight..

U know.. there will ALWAYS be a 'but'..

Nobody is perfect.. i know.. that's why i'm willing to overlook the 'but' factor.. and neither am i saying i wanna take the plunge.. after yday.. i realize i AM indeed happier this way.. not that i dun want things to change..

I can't explain it either.. i told shaikhah.. i dun wanna do anything.. i dun wanna get into arguments that will jeopardize the frenship.. i treasure this person too much.. like how i treasure my gfs..

For the first time.. a part of me felt incomplete.. a part of me went missing.. when the normal routine was broken.. i didnt tell anyone that.. cos i thought i was crazy.. i told myself i cld deal with it.. that i wld eventually forget.. but i was wrong..

My life wasn't a complete mess.. but i realized.. i dun want things to turn out the way it did.. i missed the normal routine.. i want things to go back to normal again.. badly..

But why did it take me so long?? cos.. i was unsure of my feelings.. what i wanted.. i dun wanna be saying the wrong things.. heck.. i dun even wanna do anything wrong.. a slight wrong move and things might come to a complete halt..

I have learnt a lot the past few mths.. i have learnt how to differentiate my feelings..

I can safely say.. it's not what it is.. shaikhah.. trust me.. i wun get myself into a stupid mess.. the more i connect.. the more i realized.. there's nothing going on.. for now..

2 hrs from last nite.. and all those conversations.. it's not time yet.. there's a distinct difference btwn those 2 words that we usually ponder abt.. mine is the milder one..

If U happen to read this.. if U happen to know i'm talking abt U.. well.. this is what i'm feeling.. and i know U feel this way too.. so no worries.. frenz are for keeps.. i'd rather have that from U..

Maybe.. some day.. in the future.. God will open up our hearts.. maybe.. some day.. in the future.. cupid might strike.. i dunno.. i juz dun see it now..

Trust me.. i'm ok.. i'm fine.. i'm alrite.. i'm really glad looking at the way things are right now..

Yday during bowling.. neeta asked why is it that there will ALWAYS be one pin left standing.. i came up with the theory.. well.. i admit i have met lots of guys.. and i'm sure there's more to come.. but at the end of it all.. only ONE will be left standing.. the rest will be striked out..

So is there ANY ONE PIN in particular that is standing in my life rite now?? maybe yes maybe not.. this pin can fall anytime.. because.. if i'm able to control myself well.. i may choose to NOT strike this pin down.. but if dun control myself.. it might be struck down..

See.. there WAS a reason that made me take 854 home.. there WAS a reason i had to bump into him.. only i know the reason now.. if any of u wanna know.. ask me personally..

So there.. i shall take things as they come.. i have set my priorities right.. what will be, will be.. i dun wanna fret over things anymore.. all those misconceptions.. i guess i was wrong.. but the first impression still counts.. up till today..

And with that said.. i WILL NOT be putting up my list of hotties.. if anyone of u are interested in knowing who is at which position.. call me..

| 8/06/2004 12:51:00 PM

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Pretty??

| 8/04/2004 01:20:00 PM

Me & hunny bunny

| 8/04/2004 01:14:00 PM

Drinkin!

| 8/04/2004 01:11:00 PM

Me at Macs

| 8/04/2004 01:08:00 PM

Me Laughing

| 8/04/2004 01:06:00 PM

So...................

How shld i start today's post?? cos i did lots of thinking last nite.. and cos i was out during the day.. and got kinda 'busy' last nite.. and cld only start reflecting at 1:30am.. i DID NOT study..

Let's go with the synchronization..

The beca ride.. ok.. the adventures of azreen and shaikhah on the trishaw.. that was contirbuted by sya by the way.. cos i juz chatted with her a while ago..

I realised.. i've been pretty uptight lately.. i dunno if it's cos of stress.. or the things that occurred in the last few months.. overpiling.. yeah.. overpiling of thoughts.. so.. during the ride.. despite the fact that i was laughing till my sides ache.. it made me realize lots of things..

I realised that despite the shit i've been through.. life is all about enjoying.. living it to the fullest.. i know i know.. cliched.. but.. i was too busy.. pondering over the past.. asking myself lots of qns.. that now i need to take a breather.. no.. take a breather for good..

And this actually tied in with the person i met on the bus ride home.. the damage has been done.. there's no way it can be undone.. even if both of us decided to actually start off from where we left off.. i dun think i wld wanna go through it.. all over again.. things happen for a reason..

God has better plans for me.. there's a reason why things took an abrupt turn.. there's a reason why i had to bump into the person last nite.. there's a reason why i'm feeling this way..

The conversation that i had with him on the bus made me realize that.. all feelings haven't been lost.. on both our parts.. maybe it was a case of the right person at the wrong time.. honestly i dunno.. but i'm gonna leave things as it is right now.. none of us brought up the past..

Sometimes we come across a juntion in our lives.. maybe he chose the wrong path.. and he is still lost.. but i believe.. some day.. when he has gotten back onto the right track.. maybe when he has sort out his feelings.. maybe when he knows what he wants.. he will come back to me with the answers..

On to the next one.. the unplanned meeting with izati.. i admit.. i'm not particularly close to her.. and girl.. if u're reading this.. i juz want u to know it was definitely nice catching up with u yday.. i never got to know u in cedar.. and even when we were in sr i wasn't close to u.. but yeah..

U know.. the extremely long walk from city hall to far east.. i was listening to the conversation that all 4 of us exchanged.. it's funny how different parents have different ideals..

I have never said it to my parents face to face that i dun like them interfering in my social life.. and it's cos they have never actually probed on who i'm going out with.. they never asked.. not even once.. either they think i'm really unattractive enough to have a bf.. or i hide the fact really really well that i've gotten to know quite a few guys lately..

Ok.. that wasn't what i was going to say.. but.. if my parents asked me to actually get a bf and settle down i wld definitely freak out.. am i commitment phobic?? no.. and i know i play the field.. a lot.. but i'm not a bitch..

I juz think.. at this age.. i juz wanna increase my social circle of frenz.. and if somebody brings up the issue of settling down.. it scares me.. dun get me wrong.. i wld love to be in a relationship with the right guy.. maybe i've yet to meet him.. maybe i have found him.. but i'm keeping my options open..

I guess when the time comes.. and everything is right.. the setting.. the atmosphere.. the circumstances.. then i wld move on to the next level.. for now i'm happy where i am right now.. but i wonder.. how my parents wld react if i do bring home a guy..??

Haha..

Then.. moving on to the unexpected call i received last nite.. i can say there are only 2 ppl in my circle of frenz that can make me laugh so hard.. not to the point that i forget my sadness.. or anger.. but.. they somehow have this way of making me not forget abt my sadness or anger.. by not talking abt it.. u know when u have probz it's better to talk abt them rite??

Well.. i dun have to mention names here.. i guess u guys know who u are.. i juz need to look up either one of them.. and things wld be lightened up straight away..

Wait.. i have not exactly talked abt the unexpected call rite??

Ok ok.. i have learnt not to expect too much out of things.. the more i expect things.. the more frustrated i become.. and i dun wanna disappoint myself anymore.. and yes.. i'm tired of disappointing myself.. so the only way to avoid that is by not expecting too much out of things..

I was asked by this certain soul to share.. my feelings.. my thoughts.. my stories.. but i didn't.. i only replied:

"I can't tell u.. cos i choose to believe that it's only a fiction of my imagination.. i'm contented with juz entertaining the thought myself.."

I'm happier now.. i can safely say that.. shaikhah told me not to be afraid to fall in love again.. to have faith in myself.. i can't say it's love.. but.. i'm more in control of my emotions..

I'm not hurting anymore.. my ideals may be different from reality.. but.. i believe things will change for the better.. whatever happens.. i'll leave it to God.. that's where my faith is..

All i'm praying for now is.. for good things to come my way..

| 8/04/2004 11:55:00 AM

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Great!! i was cooking dinner halfway when mom called at 9:30 to tell me dad has decided to buy food home.. so whatever i cooked has to be dumped into the fridge.. which is good la.. at least tmr i dun have to worry abt wat to cook..

Anyways.. today was one of the best days i had..

Firstly.. shaikhah kotek irritated the hell out of me by smsing me profusely.. without any spaces in between insisting that i make my way to her store.. cos the sun was shining so brightly.. and it was a good enough reason for me to get my ass moving..

So i made my way.. ate at bk all by myself while waiting for her to end.. actually i wolfed down my turkey bacon cos i was super duper hungry.. since shaikhah has not eaten we decided to walk to city hall.. and eat at sakura..

As we were walking past the river.. we heard music being played.. and i turned.. saw this apek in a trishaw.. i made a pssing comment.. asking shaikhah if she wanted to take it.. cos i dun mind la.. then we looked at each other.. as the apek went past us shaikhah asked him if we cld take a ride in it.. we told him we wanted to get to city hall..

So that was when our adventure began.. our combined weight is actually 120++ kg.. so there was this part the apek had to go up a slope.. it was a gentle slope mind u.. firstly we were laughing ourselves silly out of embarrassment.. cos basically ppl were juz looking..

So the apek got over the slope with the help of a young chi guy.. and we reached the area in front of fullerton.. u know the bridge there.. and OakTree films were filming an epic drama.. all the actors were in olden days chi costumes.. the crew members stopped the apek from riding thru the bridge.. but.. haha.. ok i need to stop myself from laughing..

Basically the apek gained speed and did not heed the crew members' instructions.. and shaikhah was trying her best to tell him that we were not supposed to be on the bridge.. but the apek cycled faster and even smiled and waved his hands at the entire cast and crew.. mann.. if only we were in the right costumes.. we wld have been part of the cast mann!!

Haha.. so i have to admit it was embarrassing.. cos the entire cast juz looked and smiled.. and me and shaikhah were trying our best to hide ourselves from whatever cameras were there.. and trying our best to hide our laughter.. and after the whole ordeal of having to go thru the bridge.. the apek had to go onto the road.. we past victoria theatre and stuff.. with a bus full of tourists staring..

So on the road.. we tried our very very best to look like tourists.. god!! luckily it wasn't peak period.. not much cars.. but each time we stopped at traffic lights i cldn't help but laugh looking at the faces of the passers by.. and the apek kept honking while he was on the road!! hahahahaha..

And he didn't obey traffic light signals all the time.. anyways.. he chose to go thru The Westin Stamford in order to get us to City Hall.. as he was going thru the booth where the parking officer stayed.. he waved and honked.. which was fine.. and at that point me and shaikhah were juz laughing till our sides ache.. and the guy inside the booth actually winked at me!!

That was horrible.. doesn't he know that he's OLD?? ok ok.. so we were approaching cafe cartel.. and me and shaikhah told the apek to stop.. thinking he dun understand english we spoke in mandarin.. but no.. he had to go on.. ok.. i know ppl inside cafe cartel were looking.. and so were those standing outside the train station..

Which was pure embarrassment la.. and the apek went right in front of the glass door.. u know.. when u get out of the escalator from City Hall?? the starbucks area.. ya.. he reached there.. and he made a u-turn and circled one whole round.. hahahahahahaha.. i cldn't stand it anymore.. STOP APEK STOP!!

So.. we asked him how much.. he flashed his card.. which showed that he usually charges $50 per head for tourists.. but for us.. it was $15.. me and shaikhah gave him $17 in the end.. and when we got down we juz continued laughing and laughing..

U know.. despite the embarrassment i really enjoyed the trip.. although he was old.. he was fit enough to cycle fast.. u cld really feel the wind.. juz what we needed on a hot sunny day.. so ya.. it was definitely an eventful ride.. definitely very nice..

Then we ate at sakura.. so while waiting for our food shaikhah saw liz walking past.. so she actually ran out and called liz.. so.. ya.. liz came in for a while.. she had juz visited izati at her workplace and she was heading to the Internet Cafe.. cos her comp is down..

After eating.. we went to visit izati.. she made this choc drink.. low fat but very nice.. yummy.. and that fendi guy was cute!! then we met up with liz.. so talked and talked.. we decided to walk to far east.. it was like 45 mins walk from city hall..

But we did burn off quite a lot of fat la.. and had a nice talk.. catching up and stuff.. so we went far east.. had bravissimo ice cream.. double choc.. then went into SB-FE.. and nas was working.. hee..

And he made my iced tall hazelnut latte.. u know i had ice cream before that.. so i thought my latte wldn't taste good.. but who was i kidding!! nas makes the best hazelnut latte in singapore!! i cld taste the sugar and bitterness..

Then nas made us this papaya mango thingy.. it looked too gross for me to even take a sip.. so ya.. we chatted with him.. no this time i talked more than shaikhah.. cos.. ya.. i was supposed to help her with something.. and i think i did well..?? haha..

But ya.. shaikah.. me and nas still wanna ask u this.. WHY HIM??

Nas has an excellent sense of humour.. really.. and.. ok.. the details of our conversation.. i'm too lazy to type it out here.. but.. ya.. his gf is damn lucky!! and yes.. i finally saw the one of the twins that nas told us is cute.. heh..

Oh.. saw how izati's bf looks like.. decent eh.. i think he's a good catch la..

U know.. we are at that age where we are supposed to get to know lots of guys.. not at that age where we are supposed to settle down?? from the details of our conversation today.. well.. food for thought.. after i have reflected abt it then i'll type out my thoughts here..

On the way home.. i bumped into someone.. ahhh.. fuck fuck fuck!! he was the last person i expected to see.. but.. i'm having too many emotions running thru me right now.. can't think straight..

If i feel like talkin abt it.. i'll update u guys ya??

So.. ya.. that was how my day went.. the trishaw ride was definitely nice.. hee..

Can't wait for thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

| 8/03/2004 10:08:00 PM

Oh mann.. the show on suria last night was damn stupid.. actually it was more kaklar la.. but still.. like i told shaikhah.. Kotek Show.. like wassup with the orange shirt?? and the cap?? and the cheeky security guy.. and the gay.. wait wait.. what's the link between gays and sotongs??

WAT??!!! WAT??!!! WAT??!!!

I was smack in front of the tv with my geog text.. i didn't wanna sit on the sofa with my parents cos i was in a foul mood.. ya.. i was in a foul mood.. that when i got home.. and mom called to tell me to wait downstairs cos she wanna go to the shops.. i started grumbling..

And it seems she took forever to decide what she wanted to buy.. if u want a hair cream then get one.. if u feel like eating something.. go and get one!!!!!!! i was really trying my best not to roar.. and no.. i didn't want to get anything to eat..

The moment i reached home.. i sat on the sofa.. and read the papers.. i didn't lift a finger to help my mom cook.. besides dad was in the kitchen with her.. now now.. three is a crowd.. so i started to simmer down.. when mom asked if i want to eat rice.. ala.. juz put la.. i'll eat when i want to..

Then they were watching Get Real on CNA while i was reading the papers.. and my mom insisted that the guy who died was the one who appeared on CNA.. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! tired of arguing i juz shut up..

So i was resting on the sofa.. when dad came.. with a bowl of ice cream and plonked himself DIRECTLY in front of me.. blocking my view of the tv..

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....

So at 9:30.. after i ate.. i sat smack in front of the tv.. my eyesight is gonna get spoiled.. but.. ah.. heck la.. so i started to simmer down.. cos the show damn funny wat.. and then.. mom came to sit beside me.. ala.. LEAVE ME ALONE!! i need space!!

And she kept alternating btwn the sofa and sitting beside me.. which irritated me even more..

So ya.. that was wat happened yday evening..

Oh oh.. after tuition.. i was stuck in a train.. like seriously packed like sardines.. no space to move.. i thought this situation only applies during the morning rush hour.. so.. i had to stand behind this super tall indian guy.. luckily he smelled nice.. no racist comment intended.. but.. u know the deal..

And cos he was super tall.. my hands and his ass was at the same level.. and yes.. his ass was nice and firm.. how did i know that?? cos my hands kept bumping into his ass each time the train moved!!! and i apologized profusely.. it felt very awkward u know.. and i didn't have space to move far far away from him..

Ok.. what else to say..

I NEED TO GET ASSESSEMENT BKS FOR MY STUDENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I STILL DUNNO WHAT TO GET FOR NEETA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ala.. ala.. i'm tired la.. very very tired.. today got 2 students to teach.. by the time i reach home it'll be 10.. den it's back to the same old mundane routine.. freaking piece of shit..

I NEED SOMEONE TO CHEER ME UP..

And yes shuqing.. my blog entries are always LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.. as if u dunno that already.. and yes shuqing.. the singpost webpage is user unfrenly.. and no shuqing.. even if i complain abt it.. i dun think they wld let me mail my registered parcel for free.. it's overseas u know..

LOOK AT THE DAMN CLEAR SUNNY SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok.. i shld stop roaring.. i'm sorry ladies and gentleman.. it's that time of the month.. so.. ya..

ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

imissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissu
imissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissu
imissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissuimissu

| 8/03/2004 11:23:00 AM

Monday, August 02, 2004

Juz got off the phone wif liz.. well.. all i can say is.. it's a minor issue.. dun fret so much over it.. give it some time.. i guess in due time if u dun hear anything from the appropriate authorities.. u juz have to put on a bold front and ask them abt it.. but before u do.. pls pls call me or either one of us.. u dun wanna be saying the wrong things do u??

Like shaikhah was telling me yday.. "mengkentalkan dirimu".. haha.. u know how these things come out funny when u express them in malay??

Ya.. oh.. sayang.. i'm sorry for going on and on and on about the same issue yday and the nite before.. i cldn't help myself.. really stressed up.. so in order to make light of the situation i decided to crack myself up by smsing in malay..

U name it.. from pure bahasa melayu to bahasa bangsawan.. to indonesian.. to mat style conversation..

U have to understand.. it's easier to get shaikhah to do it cos she's not the one peeing in her shorts over it.. it's ME.. and although she helped me with the starting.. up till now i still dun have the guts to do it..

Macam maner ni yang?? if i dun do it myself.. the other party might think i'm not sincere enough.. but i am.. i really really am.. but i'm juz really really shy and scared to do it..

Whatever the outcome is.. i'm juz afraid my heart wun be able to take it.. either it wld burst from extreme excitement.. that is if it's good news.. or it might die if it's a bad news..

Ala.. ala.. how like this?? i have a feeling the other party wld not oblige.. cos afterall.. it's not something big.. like last time.. now.. THAT.. both of us were really crazy over THAT..
URGH!! this is irritating!! piece of shit!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH U AZREEN?? CAN'T U JUZ GET IT DONE AND OVER WITH?? U SHLD HAVE GOTTEN USED TO IT BY NOW..

Basketful of cock!!

Excuse me for the use of vulgarities.. i can't find any other suitable words to descirbe the situation i'm stuck in right now..

Ok.. breathe in.. breathe out..

Get rid of all negativity.. Breathe in all positive energy..

Yes.. that's the way azreen.. u're doing good.. keep it up..

I wanna be hot like Fergie.. yes.. u read that right.. i wanna have a body as hot as Fergie.. it's well toned.. muscles in the right places.. and her ass.. PHWOAR!! tight i tell u..

And in order to have a body like hers.. i have to get back to my exercise regime.. ala.. no time la.. seriously no time.. besides i need someone to do it with me.. doing it alone isn't fun..

If i have a body as hot as Fergie.. and nice hair like hers.. then somebody wld definitely go crazy over me.. haha.. he wld definitely say yes to everything i say..

But knowing him.. even if he finds me too hot and irresistable.. he wld be too shy to do anything..

NO BALLS!!

I have resolved to treat men as koteks until proven otherwise.. hahahahahahahahahaha..

As in.. i wun get my hopes up too high la.. i realize i can control my feelings more.. which means i'm able to control myself for falling for a guy easily..

And even if i do.. i also believe things happen for a reason.. this has been proven many many times.. so what's meant to be is meant to be..

U know.. like maybe even if things dun go the way i want to now.. maybe it will turn out better in the future.. or maybe i'm destined to experience a whole new thing..

So ya.. i'm contented at the way things are right now.. i wun ask for anything more..

Cos i believe beneath that kotek-ness.. lies someone who is nice and dedicated and humorous.. and loving..

Hahahahahahahaha..

I can't believe i'm talking about all these..

Wanna know how i'm feeling right now??

Well.. it feels as if i'm running through an open field atop the highest mountain.. flowers everywhere.. dandelions , daffodils and what have u.. so i'm running and running.. to dunno where..

All i know is i feel so carefree.. there are times i'll be tumbling down the slopes.. or there are times that i wld be facing a tough time having to do some climbing..

I dunno what's in store for me.. cos like i said.. it's a vast open area.. all i know is i'm enjoying life right now.. occasionally i'll bump into strangers.. some stay.. while others fade away.. but all i know.. although i dun get to see my loved ones.. they will be there.. whenever i need them..

Pls dun ask me why i'm talking about such stuff.. i'm not quite sure myself.. shaikhah told me to practise what i preach.. ok let me share with u a quote that i gave her.. while she was going thru a difficult period..

No matter how in doubt u are.. take a chance and let the one u think abt daily know how much u care for them.. for if u dun convey ur feelings then u will ponder ur mistake for all time.. to make this task a little easier.. i remind u what do u have to lose?? maybe a little confidence or self-esteem? i say it is worth the price.. u can always regain these things..

Ahahahahahahahaha!! the person from mediacorp juz called meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hee hee.. oh la la.. this is gooooooooooooooooooood news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh shit!! i forgot her name.. wait wait..

It's MELISSA!! yesssss.. i need to look for her.. ok ok.. if i forget her name and call anyone of u.. u muz tell me her name is MELISSA.. so i have to go down to the mediacorp on friday..

ANYBODY WANNA COME??

So where was i??

Oh oh.. the quote.. yeah.. i guess it's true.. i did it before.. as recently as june this yr.. and.. actually it turned out fine.. nothing to gloat over.. but.. ya..

I did get a nice feeling out of it.. maybe it's cos the words were carefully crafted and chosen.. or maybe whatever was told to me was true.. i dunno..

But wanna know why i felt good abt it?? cos i know it was genuine care and concern.. both from me and him..

Ala.. ala.. he is such a good catch.. i feel so.. intimidated?? haha.. no la.. i dunno how to say.. but.. ya.. i'm not like va-va-voom pretty.. and he is super duper hot..

Ok.. i think most of u dun really know what i'm talking abt.. it's ok.. i dun intend for u guys to know the entire story anyway.. there are juz certain things.. certain parts of our conversation that i wish to keep secret..

This morning.. i had a dream.. no.. make it 2 dreams.. cos i was drifting in and out of sleep.. due to the rain and cold.. and shaikhah smsing me dunno what cock.. and liz also smsing me..

So.. i dreamt that i attended a birthday party for one of my students.. and it turns out that this student of mine is faizal's youngest bro.. god!! it was sooooooo weird i tell u.. and when we saw each other.. i mean although it was only a dream.. i cld really feel all the emotions..

To cut the long story short.. and also there are certain stuff i can't mention here.. we basically got back together.. ala.. i dunno la.. it's really really weird..

The reason why i'm posting about this on my blog is.. cos i hope it wun come true.. dun get me wrong.. i dun detest faizal whatsoever.. but it's a chapter in my life that i dun wish to go through all over again..

And the other dream.. i can't reveal it here.. call me superstitious.. but some say if u talk about ur dreams to others it wun come true.. i'm juz being careful.. so i'm not gonna divulge anything..
Oh well.. i have to get ready for tuition now.. and..

I STILL HAVE NOT GOTTEN NEETA'S PRESENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was supposed to get ot yday.. but it rained.. and i got lazy to step out of the house.. let alone bathe!!

U are driving me completely nutz.. do u know that?? juz what is it abt u?? i dunno.. and if i were to ask u that.. u also dunno the answer.. u send me into a frenzy each time i think abt u.. the slightest thing u do excites me.. hahahahahahahahahaha.. God!! what have u done to me???????

| 8/02/2004 03:42:00 PM

Sunday, August 01, 2004

It shld be LET'S GET RETARDED instead od Let's Get It Started..

And the part where they shout.. i want everybody to go:

GET KUKU!!!!!!!!!!

AND THE BASS KEEPS RUNNING RUNNING
AND RUNNING RUNNING
AND RUNNING RUNNING
AND RUNNING RUNNING
AND RUNNING RUNNING
AND RUNNING RUNNING
AND RUNNING RUNNING
AND RUNNING RUNNING
AND RUNNING RUNNING

Ring u stupid phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

| 8/01/2004 03:36:00 PM

I'm listening to Backstreet's Back.. the album rite now.. so excuse me if i start bursting into songs mid-way thru my posting..

AM I ORIGINAL
AM I THE ONLY ONEAM I SEXUAL
AM I EVERYTHING U NEED
U BETTER ROCK UR BODY NOW!!
BACKSTREET'S BACK ALRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wanna know what ignited me to listen to their albums?? cos on wed at hv.. me and shake decided to sing all of bsb's songs.. then to our horror we realized we took quite some time to rmbr how some songs start..

We didn't forget the lyrics la.. but it was embarrassing.. to think i still regard myself as a die-hard bsb fan.. i still am ok! I LOVE THEM TO BITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So ya.. we started singing songs from their debut album right up to Black & Blue..

Oh lala..

SHAIKHAH JUZ CALLED TO TELL ME A PIECE OF EXCITING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DUN CARE WHO U ARE
WHERE U'RE FROM
AS LONG AS U LUV ME

And yes.. i love bsb ever since they first released their album in 1996.. i was in pri 5.. and being young and ignorant i didn't know they came to singapore.. all i knew was i was watching tv.. and LIME released their 1st issue with the boys on the cover.. WHOA!! i rushed out to get the mag asap..

I dunno if u guys rmbr it.. but that one and first copy.. u scratch the words LIME on the cover and there's a lime scent.. kinda cool eh.. and of course i listened to their songs non stop..

GET DOWN
GET DOWN
AND MOVE IT ALL AROUND

Haha.. and yes.. I LOVE BRIAN B-ROK THOMAS LITTRELL.. and i still do.. so now u guys know why my e-mail add is like that.. and it was at that time that nick still had that squeaky voice.. he sounded like a duck!! and i still dun understand why gals go crazy over him..

BUT MY LOVE IS ALL I HAVE TO GIVE
WIHOUT U I DUN THINK I CAN LIVE
I WISH I CLD GIVE THE WORLD TO U
BUT MY LUV IS ALL I HAF TO GIVE

And then we started singing other boyband songs.. u name it.. 911.. code red.. human nature.. n sync.. boyzone.. caught in the act.. and others.. la la la..

And that was when farid walked up the stairs.. and i happened to turn to the right.. and he was also singing.. then when he saw me he flashed his wide and lovely smile.. ala.. CAIR.. and of course i was like.. HEE.. ala.. so sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!!

OH BABY I'M MISSIN U
WE USED TO LUV SO STRONG
TELL ME WHERE DID WE GO WRONG

So farid.. btw.. let me make this clear.. this is NOT farid from yj.. this is THE farid who signs off with a "rasta" at the comm bk.. this is THE farid with those sleepy droopy eyes.. this is THE farid who juz needs to look at me from behind the bar and ask me a simple qn:

"Not working today?"

That was enuff to make me go weak.. haha.. this is THE farid who is pure mly but looks like an Eurasian.. this is THE farid who is the cousin of andi's fren.. see i told u singapore is fucking small.. i only had to mention farid who works at hv.. and Andi automatically went:

"Oh the one who looks like an Eurasian?"

And i only had to tell nas that me and shaikhah were from sb-hv and he went:

"To see Farid is it?"

THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT!!
EVERYBODY NOWI LIKE IT
EVERYBODY COME ON
THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT

So this farid is really famous.. esp with the gals.. cos shaikhah told ivy abt him.. that he's cute.. and ivy went:

"Ya if u dun mind sharing him with other gals"

Ok.. why do i bother writing so much abt him?? i also dunno la.. i'm babbling away.. cos..

SHAIKHAH HAS MADE ME EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it has nothing to do wif farid..

Ok ok.. i really shld control myself.. but but.. THIS IS TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITING!!!

Do u guys know that u can get 15% off tix to the Hoobastank concert if u wear any Levi's apparel when purchasing tix at any Sistic counters?? btw.. that wasn't wat shaikhah told me.. she told me something else..

But.. dun u think it's romantic to attend the concert?? all the way at siloso beach.. under the stars.. ala.. romantic giler!! cair cair cair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT ABT UR
UR 10 000 PROMISES
THAT U GAVE TO ME
UR 10 000 PROMISES THAT U PROMISED ME

Shaikhah.. the pink top at ps was very very nice kan?? the net one.. the one with holes all over.. IT'S SUPER DUPER NICE KAN?? so.. HINT HINT..

Haha.. mann.. i'm shameless!! haha.. but it was very very nice.. so very the nice.. absolutely pretty!! something that i wld definitely wear.. ala ala.. why didn't i buy it the other day??

What is wrong wif me?? besides losing my marbles.. i have lost my balls too.. ok ok.. i dun have balls to begin with.. but u get what i mean..

I have turned into this gal who says almost no to everything.. no.. correction.. nowadays i end up saying no to this certain area.. i shall not reveal it.. but.. i really dunno wat's wrong with me..

So i hereby beg the hv mgr with the fucked up face to appear right in front of me right now so that i can juz get on with it instead of getting shaikhah to do it for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

GIRL DUN STOP THE SUN FROM SHINING DOWN ON ME
COS I CAN'T FACE ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT UR SMILE
AND IF U TAKE AWAY THE LOVIN ARMS THAT SUIT AROUND MET
HEN I MIGHT BREAK DOWN AND CRY JUZ LIKE A CHILD

Oh ya oh ya.. brian's son is called.. Baylee Thomas Wylee Littrell.. haha.. the poor kid.. can u imagine having to introduce himself?? it'll be such a mouthful!!

Yday's preview.. hahahahahahaha.. i irritated my lil cousin.. nadiah.. cos i know when she has her mummy wif her she dun like to be with anybody else.. so i did everything i cld to get her away from my auntie.. which ultimately made her pissed..

And my aunt told me to stop it.. cos she dun want nadiah to get into a bad mood.. ok ok.. i admit i always make lil kids cry..

Cos i love it!! dun u juz get a sense of satisfaction doing it?? it's like.. haha.. i dunno how to explain it.. but.. ya..

*muahaha*

Ok.. WHY ISN'T MY HP RINGING?? RING U STUPID FUCK!! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me for that.. i'm expecting a call.. or at least an sms.. but but.. NOTHING IS HAPPENING TO MY PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do u know that as of right now i'm still in last nite's clothes?? yes ladies and gentlemen.. I HAVE NOT BATHED!! haha.. ever since i got up this morning.. and i can only do this when dad's not home..

Mom is ok wif me walking around the hse like this.. i even went to the shops like this.. haha.. juz now she asked:

"Tak nak mandi ke?"

And i answered:

"TAK NAAAAAAAAAAAK"

And she juz smiled.. haha.. so i will bathe juz before my dad gets home.. which will be around 8pm!! haha.. ooooooooh.. i'm a dirty dirty gal..

How wonderful if i cld take a bath wif HIM.. haha.. ok STOP IT!!!!!!! excuse my wondering thoughts.. juz forget that i said that..

Ala.. den if i cld go to the fireworks festival with HIM also wld be nice..

Bet u guys didn't know that my ideal first date wld be to go to a carnival of some sort.. where there are games and stuff..

WHeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can go crazy i tell u.. cos u know me rite.. it's all abt having fun.. juz imagine me and him taking bumper cars.. and whatever rides there are.. then.. WATCH THE FIREWORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ala so romantic!! haha..

But i dun dare ask la.. although i think he wun turn me down.. but but.. ala.. i really really dun dare..

Ok i need to pee.. be back soon..

Mann.. that was a whole lot of pee that came out.. haha..

Oh oh.. CAN I BE AN NDP MOTIVATOR??????????

U know those ppl in yellow who are stationed all around the stadium trying to hype up the crowd?? i was so jealous yday.. cos they cld dance to their heart's content.. i wanted to do that too.. but there was nobody to do it with me..

Ohh.. on the way home.. thru the crowd.. i started singing..

THIS IS HOME TRULY
WHERE I KNOW I MUZ BE
WHERE MY DREAMS WAIT FOR ME

Bla bla bla.. and my 2 lil cousins.. nabilah and sabrina looked at each other.. they had this totally embarrassed look on their faces that spurred me to sing even louder!! haha.. i bet they muz have thought:

"Why oh why do i have such a cousin?"

Mind u.. they were only 9 and 8 respectively.. haha.. and they cld behave sensibly.. unlike me..

RING U STUPID PHONE!!!!!! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dun get it.. juz what is it abt parents.. i wanna change my plan.. but my mom dun allow.. i told her the benefits of the iPlus One and she still wun let me change.. i told her i can afford to pay for my monthly bills now but she dun allow..

Den juz now she asked if i want a new hp.. i told her yeah.. but i dun want to trade in this phone.. i wanna have 2 hps.. one for this line.. and another one for my hi-card.. i told her i have savings.. juz let me buy my own phone.. but she dun allow.. den she said i can buy a new hp but musn't be expensive..

And when i insist i can top up the excess cost.. SHE DUN ALLOW.. ala.. why bother asking in the first place??

Irritating!!

RING LA STUPID PHONE!!!!!!!!

That's it!! i need to but my hoobastank concert tix.. since i can't get the student discount i'm going for the Levi's discount.. but but.. ok the issue here isn't the cost of the tix.. cos $79 before discount is very affordable..

The issue is..

Oh well.. why bother saying it here anyway??

Sayang.. mengapakah ia harus jadi begini?? apakah yang sungguh menarik tentang dia?? apa yang sungguh panas tentang dia?? dia hanya perlu membuat satu perkara dan aku sudah cair.. aku sudah menggila.. mengapakah aku tergila-gilakan dia?? MENGAPA??

Lu tau tak lu sangat panas?? lu tinggal jauh dari gua.. tapi sampai sini gua boleh rasa kepanasan lu.. kan macam kaklar gitu.. tapi lu memang panas la.. wa caya sama lu!! lu buat gua cair macam nak mampus!! lu buat gua giler.. apasal la lu macam gini?? lu tak kesian kan gua ke?? gua jadi giler macam gini.. sampai terkencing kencing tau.. gua bilang sama lu ah.. lu jangan malu malu dengan gua ah.. gua tak gigit.. gua tak akan makan lu.. gua janji ah babe!! gua tak macam orang lain.. gua boleh maintain.. gua cool la.. lu jangan macam gini ah.. buat gua suspense aje..

| 8/01/2004 03:10:00 PM