:: CATWOMAN ::
Nurazreen. Azreen. Az.
Loves Kukuz. Filial Daughter. Devoted to Batman.
20 yrs YOUNG. 15 January 1985. Capricorn.
SHOPAHOLIC.
School of Cookery. School of Flirting. School of Camwhore. School of Videowhore. KukuzRuffbabezInc. TLC. Bruce Wayne Enterprises.
Crazy. Stubborn. Loves To Eat. Complains abt Fats. Dunno how to swim. Dunno how to cycle. Nice Long Straight Hair. Sweet Fone Voice. But scary in real life.
:: LOVES ::
:: LOATHES ::
:: SHOUT IT OUT ::
:: TREASURED MEMORIES ::
November 2003
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Subtle Seductress
You know that sexiness is all about being secure in your own skin -- whether it's covered in a full-length coat or only massage oil. Sure, you enjoy wearing enticing outfits and indulging your sensual side when you want to, but you know you don't need to flaunt your bod to get noticed. Why? Because there's so much more to you than meets the eye -- and you expect men to grasp that fact just as well as you do. Besides exuding friendliness and a dash of leave-it-to-the-imagination mystery in your dress, gestures and flirty grins, your autonomous allure is a turn-on, too. "You adore attracting the attention of men but don't feel life comes to a screeching halt without them -- the satisfaction you receive from your family, friends, career and hobbies is just as important," explains Hallie Potocki, author of What Do Men Want? "It's that engaging sense of self-worth and independence that makes you all the more desirable."
Click Here -->Do You Give Off A Sexy Vibe?
Muahaha.. woo.. i think it's the side effect of the fever that made me take this test.. like i told u.. pls excuse me for any over-the-top antics.. i've gone absolutely bonkers.. and yessss.. i've got a new obsession now.. shake lulu & neeta knows what i'm talking about.. heh..
AHHHHH!! LULU PUT THAT SONG ON HER BLOG!!! AHHHHH!! now she's got me doing the dance.. if u guys haf watched kal ho naa ho.. u will know what i'm talking ab.. *puts one finger up in the air, shakes my head & butt*.. AHHHHHH!!!
Actually rite.. there are soooooooo many songs i wanna put on my blog.. but i've decided to settle for this one by Tata Young.. Been doing a lot of talking to shake lately.. and yup.. like she said.. we're turning into BITCHES!! haha.. we're not nasty bitches but.. heh.. but if u've been hanging out with us.. u wld know what i mean.. we're FULL of substance..
Thank U shake for doing what u did yday.. i really appreciated it.. dunno if anything good will come out of it.. but.. I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!! i'm not at the losing end rite?? heh.. oh god!! i feel like giving u a hug rite now!! but dun worry.. later when i see u.. i'll definitely give u a hug.. AHHHHH!!! i've still not screamed my lungs out!! when u called me last nite.. well.. u know the situation i was stuck in.. but.. heh..
Gave my parents a treat yday.. had dinner at banquet at jurong point.. and.. haha.. after i heard the news from shake.. haha.. i juz cldnt do anything.. i cldnt even eat my dinner!! and i was soooooo excited that i talked non-stop & was smiling all nite!! oh ya.. i fell in lurve with this purple top.. so yup.. bought it yday.. will be wearing it later.. WOO!!
I really have to apologise if i've been bugging anybody with my crazy antics lately..
This is what happens when my biological clock has gone haywire..
This is what happens when i sleep at 4 each nite..
This is what happens when i sleep for only 3 hrs each day..
This is what happens when i hang out toooooo much with my gurlfrenz..
This is what happens when i've been reborn..
THIS IS THE NEW ME..
MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
Only in extreme case of stress will u find me doing such things.. yesssss.. i was tremendously stressed.. exasperated.. frustrated.. it was like as if i cld explode any moment..
The last time i ever felt this way.. was.. well.. abt 4-5 mths back.. and i cldnt believe it when those old feelings came back.. i thot i was crazy.. i thot it was impossible.. and the more i try to deny those feelings.. well.. the stronger i felt.. haha.. and i get excited when i think abt it..
So after chatting with lulu & shake.. i went to the toilet.. dunno how many times i went to the toilet today.. muz haf been something i ate last nite.. sori peepz.. we cldnt meet up today.. but we'll be meeting tmr rite?? HEE..
Anyways.. i did a thorough cleaning up today.. that's what i do when i'm really really stressed.. i blasted the stereo.. then i cleaned the toilet.. scrubbed the toilet bowl.. bleached my dad's uniform (usually i juz dump them in the washing machine).. i scrubbed his uniform clean.. i swept the floor.. then mopped the floor.. i wiped the stove.. i wiped the top of the kitchen cabinet.. i washed the kettle (????).. yup.. i did all those.. so u can say i played a lot with water today..
Oh God!! I think i'm in need of serious help.. I really can explode anytime.. It's juz that too many things are happening at the same time.. like seriously TOOOOO many things.. and it doesn't help that this song is making me do crazy things.. i dunno.. i juz get those kinda vibes from listening to it..
Oh right Dad u ready??
Hold on.. Hold on..
Ok ready..
Ummi u ready??
Ready.. Let's kick it!!
*bops my head up & down & start singing loudly*
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best
[What Wembley?: Not Wembley you idiot he means heaven: I thought we got reincarnated: I want to come back as Gareth's hair gel! Hehehe]
*shaking my ass & trying to dance like Gareth*
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
[Could you be more specific?: Is it driving distance?: I'm going to need a comfort break: There better not be stairs wherever it is I: Ah shut up this is my big sitar solo: Sanjeev keep it down - the neighbours]
*imagines myself playing the sitar*
Muahaha.. well it's not the lyrics to the entire song.. but..
*shakes my ass off & laughing with glee*
My 2nd post in 2 hrs.. and yessss.. my dear parents have decided to come home late AGAIN.. they are having dinner together outside.. i mean.. yeah.. it's good to spend quality time together.. but.. sheesh.. i dunno.. sometimes i feel unwanted u know.. especially lately.. u know.. like the stuff that i do.. i know it's not as if they dun care.. but sometimes i feel like they dun notice the things that i do.. lalalalala..
And yessss.. FRUSTRATION!! AHHH!! i'm really going nutz!! the last time i ever felt this way.. was.. well.. was.. umm.. some mths back.. and.. URGH!! i dunno what's going on.. i dunno what to do.. i dunno what my next move shld be.. i mean.. URGH!! it's really really EXASPERATING!!
Like.. i mean.. WHY??? WHY??? and this goes out to shake.. lulu & neeta.. i mean WHY??? wassup mann??? i mean.. did i juz disillusioned myself?? URGH!! i dunnnoooo.. but.. i mean.. there WAS some hint of interest rite?? URGH!!
SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....................
I took great pains to put on my mascara properly..
I made sure i didn't put on too much eyeshadow..
I made sure my blusher was subtly brushed on..
I made sure my lip gloss stayed on..
I made sure my perfume wasn't too overpowering..
BUT WHY???
It wasn't as if i looked ugly today..
And i dun mean to say I was gorgeous..
At least I was pleasant enuff to look at..
Even the tourist wanted to take a pic of me & my frenz..
BUT WHY???
The initial reaction was good..
Very good..
Very positive..
A smile..
Then a wave..
BUT WHY???
Anti-climatic..
Changed the song on my blog again.. heh.. cos this song is very cheerful.. and if u've seen the video.. u wld burst out laughing.. well i did anyway.. the whole concept is juz soooooo cheerful!! and gareth did a lil dance!! AHH!!
Anyways.. i decided to put up this song cos.. well.. that's how i'm feeling right now.. juz plain sheer happiness.. except when someone reminds me abt what is gonna happen next wk which usually gets me tearing a bit.. but.. HEEEEEEEEE.. everything abt this song juz screams cheeriness.. i dunno y.. but.. yeah..
HEEEEEEEEE.. haha.. gonna get ready now.. meeting the gals later.. HEEEEEEE.. and we are going to.. *winks winks*.. heh.. cannot say ah.. wait too many ppl go to the place..
Oh god!! i shld juz shut up!! see la..
this is what happens when u decide to do something crazy yday..
this is what happens when u decide to do the unthinkable..
this is what happens when u get a good response out of it..
this is what happens when u dun get enuff sleep..
this is what happens when u talk to shake till 4am..
this is what happens when me & shake gets excited..
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
AHHHHH!!!! I DID THE UNTHINKABLE!!!! AHHHH!!! i've never done such a thing before.. heh.. neeta & shake.. u guys better keep mum.. dun tell a single soul abt it.. not even to liz & lulu.. i juz wanna keep things quiet for now.. heh.. so.. HUSH..
anyways.. had chocolate overdose today.. cos me & shake went to McCafe again.. i had my double choc frappe.. tuna sandwich.. shake had chicken sandwich.. and.. hot chocolate.. so we sat there for hours!! den we had ben & jerry's ice cream.. chocolate brownie.. and.. what's the other one shake?? den.. we ordered something from McCafe again.. oreo romeo cheesecake.. and i ordered hot choc.. heh.. WOO!!
whatever it is.. i'm soooooo super glad i went out today.. yup..
before i end off..
AHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!
I'm MELTIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm CAIR-INGGGGGGGGG!!!
AHHHHHHH!!!!
shake & neeta.. u guys better not say a word abt this to a single soul..
i dunno if any of u has seen the video to this black eyed peas song.. but.. FUH!! fergie juz looks extra HOTTT in it!! heh.. and for those of u who doesn't know which one is fergie.. well.. she's the lady of the band.. before any of u go: HUH?? AZREEN IS LUSTING AFTER A GAL?? haha.. let me make this clear that i'm still as straight as ever.. haha.. but in this video.. fergie is juz gyrating like mad.. u know like how beyonce gyrates in her crazy in love video.. yup.. fergie juz shakes vigorously.. and at least it's pleasant to look at her.. unlike beyonce whose jiggly bits were abt to fall out any moment.. haha.. but i really admire fergie.. her body is SOLID!! it's very well toned.. her abs.. her thighs.. and her boobs.. WHOA!! why can't i have a body like hers?? haha.. ok ok.. ENUFF AZREEN.. stop being disgusting.. but yeah.. if u guys watch the video.. u wld know what i'm talking abt.. heh..
so.. went to chpt 2 today.. wif shake.. that woman.. she juz called me & she was sort of screaming over the phone saying that she needed to get her hair cut.. i was sending my cousin to sch.. haha.. so ya.. poor thing.. in the end we met at bugis mrt at 3:30pm.. $25 for a trim & wash & blow dry.. regardless of hair length.. which i think is pretty reasonable la.. cos their service was quite fast.. quite gd.. and yes.. while waiting for shake to get her hair cut.. i was handed an issue of HER WORLD.. let me correct that.. i was handed THE issue of HER WORLD.. THE v-day issue which contained the complete sex guide.. yessss.. all the various positions.. all the itsy bitsy details.. which style u shld adopt if the guy is too tall.. or shorter than u.. and all the stuff..
and i juz fell in love today.. with.. heh.. ohh.. this is soooo embarrassing.. shld i say it?? awww.. i'm blushing already.. i dunno if i really shld reveal this new love of mine.. i dun tink u guys wld be interested.. but.. i feel the need to tell u all.. i mean.. i shldn't be keeping anything from my frenz rite?? and the purpose of me getting a blog is so that i can blabber away.. update u guys abt the latest happenings in my life.. heh.. promise u guys wun laugh at me k??
ok ok.. my new love is.. *DRUMROLL*.. the DOUBLE CHOCOLATE FRAPPE from McCAFE!! haha.. ok ok.. sorry for the unnecessary excitement.. went to McCAFE at United Square with shake.. and when i saw it on the menu.. i juz had to get it.. the name itself is already so tempting.. and i had a Tempting Chicken Focaccia to go with it.. which was equally delicious!! so if guys are on a low budget.. but feel like eating something ala-Delifrance.. or drinking something ala-Starbucks/Coffee Bean/.. McCAFE is the place to go!! then neeta came along.. as usual we took some pics.. chatted for a while.. then we went our separate ways.. i went home.. shake & neeta went to work..
if the guy in black tee & cap walking towards us had been him..
i wldn't know what to do..
i wldn't know if i wld break down & cry..
i wldn't know if i shld feel elated seeing him..
i wldn't know if i shld smile at him..
i wldn't know if i shld juz walk away cos all of the hurt i've been feeling..
all i know is..
shake..
i wld have wanted u to be my pillar of strength..
luckily it was u-know-who..
and shake..
if u-know-who was with the single or double fella..
i wld have juz ran away..
i wld juz puke my lunch on him..
ahh!!!
this is really driving me nutz..
it's a tuesday.. and as usual i have to do a bit of baby sitting.. actually rite.. i'm feeling very very tired.. cos i slept really late last nite.. talked to shake till 1:30 i think.. then i continued watching tv.. haha.. this old mandarin show on ch 8.. abt mysterious happenings.. luckily it wasn't a ghost story.. if not i wld have switched off the tv.. then i watched days of our lives.. then.. haha.. i think i drifted off to sleep..
anyways.. sigh.. the stuff me & shake talked abt last nite.. the song on shuqing's blog.. the song on lulu's blog.. all the movie ticket stubs by my bed.. feel kinda *ouch* u know.. but what to do.. i'll juz let time heal all wounds..
so i guess what's meant to be will be right?? actually i'm tired of constantly asking qns.. but i guess it's basic human nature.. u can't help but qn why things turned out this way.. some of us take a short time to get over such things.. while some of us juz take a lil longer.. i fall into the latter category..
shake was asking me how i am able to withstand everything.. how i'm able to be patient abt things for so long.. i dunno shake.. i really dunno.. initially i thot it wld be best to leave things alone.. maybe he needs time to be alone.. then i got afraid of knowing the truth.. the painful truth.. so i put off the qns.. even when i met him once during the hols to watch a movie.. but i was really tempted to ask him.. then i thot i had forgotten abt him.. but it was simply cos i was sooo busy at work.. didn't have time to think abt him.. then.. ya.. then u know what happened.. it was like.. i dunno what hit me.. but.. sigh.. it's too late to regret whatever decisions i made..
all i know is this is all fated.. Allah has his plans for me.. me.. being a weak soul can only accept whatever Allah is putting me thru.. i believe i will come out stronger from all that's happened.. so yeah.. guess i'm juz gonna let things be..
i'll juz wait patiently till my qns get answered..
i shall wait patiently till the day my heart is able to open up again..
to accept another person..
hopefully......
Can somebody pass me the net?? cos my nose is abt to run off any minute.. and i dun want that to happen.. cos i love my nose.. cos i dun want there to be a gaping hole in front of my face.. HAHAHAHA.. funny rite?? ok.. 1, 2, 3.. -laugh-.. HUR HUR.. but true wat.. it's impt to have a nose.. if not u'll have to breathe thru ur mouth.. then u'll be like a goldfish.. always opening & closing the mouth.. heh..
Ok ok.. that was TOTAL CRAP.. i'm sori.. after being in malacca for like 3 days.. my brain is dehydrated.. totally dried up from the over exposure to the sun.. so.. the trip was nice.. altogether there were 5 of us.. me.. my parents.. my grandma.. my aunt.. went on fri evening.. and as usual my dad was speeding as usual.. 140 km/h.. reached there in 1 1/2 hrs.. but i juz slept throughout the journey la.. heh..
U know.. i called Abang Benn on sat morning.. cos i cldn't stand the boredoom..
Me: Abang.. I kat melaka tau..
Abang Benn: Ohh.. Abang kat KL.. bila u sampai??
Me: Last nite.. Eh, come down la.. Boring tau.. only got Abang Shah..
Abang Benn: But I dun have lots of work to do..
Me: Ala.. Boleh la.. Sekejap je.. Come back for the weekend..
Abang Benn: Tapi Abang takde kereta.. It's at the workshop..
Me: Ala.. Boleh la.. PLEEEEESE.. takde orang nak layan me..
Abang Benn: Ok ok.. later k?? I leave KL at 4..
Me: YEAY!! den how long will u sampai melaka??
Abang Benn: I take bus.. so.. abt 2 hrs..
Me: Heh.. Ok.. I get ur dad to pick u up k?
Abang Benn: Nanti i will call u once I'm reaching..
Me: HEE.. ok.. see u later!!
Heh.. i know i can be a brat at times.. but.. WHO CARES!! i needed company badly.. Abang Ijal wasn't in Malacca.. Me & Shah dun get along that well.. cos he's the LAZIEST BUM on earth!! he's WORST then me.. u can ask him to make a phone call & he WUN do it.. he juz eats.. watches tv.. disturbs ppl.. that's all.. so ya.. Abang Benn is THE BEST!! heh..
So we did some shopping.. my parents la.. i was with Abang Benn most of the time.. i was hungry at nite.. as usual.. then we went out to eat.. WAH!! i tell u.. that was the first time i saw him flirt like nobody's business!! the poor waitress was soooo embarrassed.. she was too scared to serve us.. the poor gal.. then while we were eating.. his hp kept ringing.. but he kept rejecting the calls.. i asked him why.. and he told me something stupid.. When I'm out with u, I'll make sure u get 100% attn from me.. total crap u know!! of course i went: Yeah rite!! U tengah menggatal with the waitress juz now.. Ni mesti ur gf telefon but u tak nak ans kan? Then he burst out laughing.. i tell u.. he was really being an ass!! then at nite we watched vcd while the entire hsehold was already asleep.. and his hp rang again.. and he purposely answered in a very sleepy voice.. idiot.. ohh.. not forgetting.. there were the occasional times when he was swearing like nobody's business.. heh..
Then.. the next morning.. i was the last one to wake up.. i mean i slept at 3 the nite before.. and the aircon was super cold.. and it didn't help that my aunt & me kept fighting over the comforter.. she pulled.. i pulled.. and it continued throughout the entire nite.. so at 5:30.. i ran over to my mom & squeezed in beside her.. pulled the comforter over my legs.. ahh.. WARMTH!! and cos i was the last one to wake up.. abang benn juz entered the rm & threw a piilow at me!! freaking piece of shit!! then he sat on the bed & laughed into my ear!! URGH!! wat an ass!! he told me to bathe quickly cos he already prepared breakfast.. awww.. so sweet.. heh..
Didn't wanna go home actually.. but.. wat to do.. anyways i dun wanna stay there too.. but u know.. my dad's car is sick.. hoho.. cos rite.. on sat.. we wanted to go somewhere.. den on the highway my dad was speeding suddenly the engine stalled.. it kept stalling each time he tried to speed.. so he cldn't do anything but maintained the speed at 80 km/h.. very slow u know.. i even fell asleep while he was driving.. my aunt was all alone at the back & she was wide awake.. haha..
So.. ya lor.. the journey home took abt 2 1/2 hrs.. occasionally the engine died.. den rite.. we were at the tuas checkpoint.. there were quite a lot of cars.. so we had to stop intermittently.. den as we were abt to enter the booth to have our passports checked.. the engine juz stopped again.. and dis time it juz stopped for the longest time!! my dad was trying to start the engine for 10 whole bloody mins and the policeman there juz stood there like some idiot!! serious know!! it was very irritating! the least he cld do was to come over & redirect the cars behind my dad's car.. but no.. he didn't.. then after 10 mins.. he came over to my dad..
Dumb Policeman: Encik.. kereta encik rosak eh?
My Dad: Engine mati.. tak boleh start..
Me: (muttering under my breath) Tak la.. sengaja nak berhenti kat tengah tengah dunia..
Haha.. i knew the policeman heard me but i cldn't be bothered.. i was very very pissed at him u know.. he stared at me so i stared back la.. luckily my dad didn't scold me.. den we were asked to leave the car except for my dad.. another police officer came.. another tooting mly guy.. he told my dad to start the car.. we cld hear the engine but then it became silent again.. and that bloody guy insisted that the car is ok.. but my dad said no.. the engine went dead.. and he insisted it's already on.. i mean.. what the hell!! can't u see that the red light is flashing on the dashboard?? blind is it?? i was really irritated u know!!
So anyways.. my dad's car managed to start again.. drove for a bit then it stopped again.. frankly speaking.. i dun care if the car decides to go dead for good.. as long as it goes dead on the expressway i dun mind.. but NOT on the msian highway.. but finally made it to my grandma's place.. dropped off my grandma & aunt.. then the car decided to stop again as we were passing bedok mrt.. and we were stuck there for 10 mins.. i told my dad to call the tow truck but he didn't want to.. after that.. the car can move again.. then at the traffic light near masjid ansar it stopped again!! we were stuck there for 30 mins!! AHHH!! and i really hated all those drivers who kept honking.. i mean my dad already switched on the flashing indicator lights.. he lifted the boot already.. isn't that an obvious sign that the car broke down?? sheesh.. some drivers juz kept honking.. then my dad honked back.. haha.. so any car that honked will get a stare & a few honks from my dad.. haha.. cldn't help it.. he was frustrated wat..
Then finally the car started.. and i told my dad not to stop la.. drive the route that has the least no of traffic lights.. so ya.. he was driving at 50 km/h.. each time he saw the traffic light turning red, he wld practically crawl so we wun stop.. haha.. so ya.. we managed to reach our hse car park & the car stopped AGAIN!! haha.. then a few mins later.. it started again.. so my dad quickly parked the car.. WOO HOO!! i've never felt so happy to be home.. can u believe that a normal journey that took us 15 mins extended all the way to 1 hr?? haha..
So now.. the car is stuck at the car park.. my parents took the mrt to work.. can't believe that after what had happened i still had the energy to watch tv till 3 last nite.. and yup.. today i woke up at 2.. shuqing didn't go to work either.. heh.. she called me & said I'm such a pig..
Yup.. that was wat happened over the last few days.. i've been stuck here for abt 3 hrs now.. gonna go off.. gotta get my own dinner.. my parents will be home late today.. life is so fun.. hur hur..
MUACKZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Juz when u think life is good.. life is ok.. life is interesting & life is getting back to normal.. BAM!! something happens.. it hits u hard & wakes u up.. sigh.. i am currently feeling numb.. actually i dunno whether i shld feel pissed.. or flattered.. but.. WHATEVERRRR.. sigh.. last nite's sms was such a shocker.. i swear i felt like puking after i read it.. what is wrong with guys nowadays??
And it did bring back some memories.. it touched a raw nerve.. the wounds have not healed yet.. i juz dunno what to make out of it.. it's juz.. well.. too bloody sudden.. and.. ok.. i juz shudder thinking about it..
And i suggest all of u read shake's blog.. it's soooooooooooooo very true!! haha.. i was laughing out loud when i read it..
Like i was telling shake last night.. i've washed my hands off guys.. so it's true.. i've got to meet a few frogs before i get to my prince charming.. and who will my prince charming be?? i'm not asking for much.. juz someone who's mature.. humorous.. sensitive to my feelings & needs.. and someone who can guide me along.. someone who treasures me.. someone who does his prayers 5 times a day..is that too much to ask for??
I feel like attaching a signboard to myself saying: GUYS JUZ FUCK OFF!! I'M JUZ NOT INTERESTED.. I'M HAPPY BEING SINGLE.. I DUN NEED A MAN RIGHT NOW..
Oh well.. peepz.. i'll be going off to malacca in the evening.. cos my mom's aunt juz had a bypass so we're going to visit her.. juz for the weekend only.. i hope.. cos.. abang Ijal & Abang Benn wun be around.. and i'll be DAMN BORED!! haha..
Till then..
MUACKZZZZZZZZZ
i came back to an empty house.. AGAIN!! yesss.. dis has been going on for 2 weeks now.. my parents have been working late.. i mean i admit having the house to myself.. and no one to fight with me over the SCV.. but.. sigh.. sometimes i wish i can have a proper dinner.. with my parents.. anyways.. i juz called them up.. they said they are having dinner outside.. sheesh.. cldn't even sms to tell me abt it is it?? at least i cld have met them somewhere or something..
anyways.. met up with the gals today.. yup.. my dearest gurlfrenz from a5.. heh.. it's been sooooooooo long since i saw ALL of them.. so.. yup.. had a nice time.. me, shake & lulu ate at Breeks.. the one at taka.. and i had Beef & Chicken Combo.. which consisted of two sticks of super thick beef satay.. 2 pieces of chicken.. waffle fries.. soup of the day which was chicken.. and.. veggie.. which later got dumped into the soup bowl.. heh.. we were walking across taka & entered this shop selling caps.. me & shake tried on the pageboy cap.. and we took a pic together!! heh.. shake.. better upload the pics k?? then met up with neeta.. sat at starfucks at far east.. each one of us had the raspberry frappucino.. waited for lizzy for dunno how long.. that woman was so devoted to marking her compre answers.. i think she came at 5.. then we took neo prints at far east.. which turned out to be ok.. but i think it cld have turned out to be nicer.. IF ONLY neeta hadn't pressed the CANCEL button..
Ohh.. i told shuqing to drop by far east after work.. partly cos i wanted to see her & partly cos the others wanted to see her hair.. heh.. so yup.. she came by.. and i think EVERYONE love her hair.. AHHH!! now i feel like curling my hair tooooo!! but i have to wait till the rebonding effect is gone.. but then again i dunno if curly hair suits me.. anyways all of us were going crazy..
Me & lulu were holding on to neeta on either sides.. then i juz pulled her arms up & shouted: FOR SALE!! FOR SALE!! haha.. it was funny mann!! cos we were walking from far east to the mrt when i did that.. then there was this one time in the underground tunnel me & shuqing started snorting like pigs.. then i decided to do a loud one & lulu & shake got a shock of their lives!! haha.. then lulu dared me to snort at this police officer.. but too bad he went off before i cld do it.. then i juz crept up behind lizzy & SNORTED!! haha.. that was super funny!!
Had dinner with shuqing at.. *drumroll*.. Breeks again!! haha.. this time at ang mo kio.. for dessert i had brownie with ice cream & she had american cheesecake.. and she told me lots of stuff abt work.. sigh.. i miss working life.. i wanna work at UOL again.. pls pls pls pls pls take me back!! so far i've had good conduct what!! u know.. that woman juz cdln't keep her mouth shut!! she was singing all the way from Breeks to the bus stop.. even after we got on the bus she was still singing.. URGH!!
So.. that was what happened today.. so now all i have to do is to wait for my parents to come home.. watch american idol.. well.. basically juz rot in bed till i fall asleep..
my aunt juz called a few minutes ago to tell me that she juz took a picture with.. ERRA FAZIRA!! ok ok.. it shld actually be EERA FAZIRA.. cos she was at work.. at the airport.. den.. haha.. she told me Erra's very pretty.. and yday she saw agnes monica.. AHHH!!! i want to take photo too!! den she told me that she's waiting for siti nurhaliza to come.. so somebody tell me what is the official hotel for the Anugerah Planet Muzik??
ok.. i'm actually all nicely dressed up.. will be out in a few mins to meet my gurlfrenz in town.. heh.. den we're gonna hang out somewhere and juz catch up with one another.. gossip.. eh.. we engage in good gossip ok!! whatever we talk abt doesn't go out of the clique.. and of course we dun lie abt anyone.. heh..
let me juz give u brief idea of what i'm wearing right now.. bright pink top.. pink pierre cardin bra with sequin flowers at the side.. jeans.. black undies with pink squares & white squares.. butterfly necklace.. purple earrings.. haha.. juz felt like saying all that.. dunno y..
ok peepz.. gotta go.. will update u guys on what happen today k??
MUACKZZZZZZZ
"Nah.. i bought u dis.."
"What is it?"
"It's an eyeliner.. everyone's using it so i thot u shld haf one.."
"But i DUNNO how to use it!!"
"Well.. learn how to use it.."
sigh.. my mom got home from work.. and yeah.. she bought me an eyeliner which i haf ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how to use.. there are no instructions on the damn thing!! thot of using it tmr.. oh what the heck.. dun use it la..
so yeah.. my eyes went back to watching the tv after that.. cos i was watching the UK version of TRL.. and.. the guest artist was.. *drumroll pls*.. BLUE!! haha.. duncan didn't look hot with THAT hair.. THAT hairstyle in the Guilty video.. but.. heh.. when he walked into the studio.. WHOA!! and dis gal got the opportunity to hug & kiss them.. in front of the screen.. and every single one of them gave her a peck on the lips!! sheesh.. WHY DIDN'T I GET THAT?? heh..
pretty excited for tmr.. HEE.. i'm gonna be in PINK!! MUAHAHA..
I'm currently using Johnson's Baby Shampoo with Wheatgerm.. i dun like de smell.. it's not very fragrant.. but i decided to give it a try cos.. well.. it's supposed to strengthen ur hair.. and my hair is pretty brittle.. it breaks easily.. so.. yeah.. but at the end of the day i still prefer the Johnson's Baby Conditioning Formula.. cos it has lots of lather.. and the smell is juz oh sooooooo nice.. I think the Jonhson's Baby team shld start paying me for willing to try out their different shampoos.. heh..
Ohh.. i trimmed my hair a little bit today.. made it more stepped.. cos it's quite long.. haha.. i didn't notice it's long till ppl started pointing it out to me.. so.. yeah.. and it's become unmanageable.. so yeah.. decided to give it a trim.. actually at the end of the day i juz wanted to do something to my hair.. heh.. i juz had nothing to do la.. felt like spending money..
So.. showed shake the pics.. the ones we took on v-day.. heh.. and the pics we took with duncan & lee are.. they turned out VERY NICE!! heh.. u shld see the way me & shake were smiling.. SOOOOOO WIDE!!!! haha.. cldn't help it what.. esp when all neeta cld do was to juz look a us.. poor gal.. heh..
My aunt gave me $20 today.. and i spent it all in one day.. i bought a new pink top.. pink is the hottest colour this season what.. ok.. it's really bright pink.. it's juz screaming for attention.. heh.. again i cldn't resist it.. told u i felt like spending money what.. and i'm still on my retail therapy.. and it doesn't help that my dad still gives me allowance.. so.. yeah.. HEE.. after i sent my cousin to sch i went to jurong pt again.. WOO!!
Met up with shake at starfucks.. the one at PS.. now i'm addicted to the raspberry frappucino.. i first tasted it on sat.. after the fullerton trip.. heh.. and it's really nice!! it tastes like ice cream.. and the guy at starfucks was cute too.. but he looks kinda old for me.. heh.. he looks 25.. then walked all the way to cineleisure.. took neo prints.. and shake bought a nice skirt.. AHH!! it's really very sweet looking.. i didn't buy it cos i prefer the one at the entrance.. but when we got there.. there was only one piece left.. and the lady in front already took it.. too bad la.. guess i juz wasn't fated to have it.. and maybe it was juz fated i shldn't be spending any more money.. anyways.. i've still not spent a single cent of my pay.. so.. heh..
Shake.. heard a lot of stuff from u today.. glad to see u're happy.. that u're moving on.. HEE.. i can really see u're happy.. i feel happy for u.. i dunno how to describe it.. but the way u talked today.. the way u conducted urself.. heh.. it juz reflected how happy u are.. so.. ya.. hope things go well for u.. *winks*.. HEE.. u muz update me.. juz call me up anytime at night.. heh..
so.....................
DUNCAN JAMES IS JUZ TOOOOOOOOO HOTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! SIMPLY IRRESISTABLE!!!!!! AND HE'LL FOREVER BE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so where do i start?? sheesh.. i dun even know.. cos.. my mind is blank.. i'm juz stoning in front of the computer.. totally zoned.. the only person who's on my mind right now is.. *drumroll pls* DUNCAN JAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $1,000,000 goes to the person who guessed it WRONGLY.. haha..
ok.. i juz feel it's only fair i start off from the top.. meaning i will start off from 7am..
14th Feb 2004.. VALENTINES DAY..
got up at 6:15.. scurrying around like mad cos i was supposed to meet shuqing at 7:30 at the airport.. sending shelby off.. bloody cold water.. put on my green top & jeans.. foundation.. compact.. went to my parents room to borrow my mom's eyeshadow kit.. put on blusher.. lip gloss.. boiled water.. made tea for my dad.. woke my dad up to tell him i'm going out & will be back later at nite.. so it was already 7:15 when i finally got out.. oh.. fuck it.. late already.. took a cab to tanah merah mrt.. shuqing waited for me at the patform.. den.. ya.. off to the airport.. T2 was crowded.. anyways.. took pics with shelby.. said our goodbyes.. umm.. ya.. faizal was there too.. going off on the same plane as shelby.. i saw his dad 1st den i saw him.. didn't talk to him la.. got shuqing to help me pass a letter to him.. den.. we saw mr zaihan too!! haha.. yeah shuqing.. it runs in the family.. hur hur.. haha.. we talked to him for a while.. he even admitted he doesn't recognize us.. i'm SO HURT!! he doesn't recognize ME?? haha.. after shuqing had breakfast at BK, we were stuck in WH Smith for THE LONGEST TIME cos that woman simply can't decide what mag to buy!! Cleo.. Elle.. some more what ah?? cos they were giving away lots of freebies like bags & mascara.. so.. haha.. actually i didn't know which mag she bought in the end..
Then rushed like mad to meet noreen at tm.. when i changed the train at tanah merah.. guess who was in the same carriage as me?? faizal's parents & his 2 bros!! haha.. but i didn't talk to them la.. but still.. felt kinda paiseh.. so.. had breakfast at macs with noreen.. finally received my birthday present from her.. a HUGE GREEN PILLOW with I LOVE U written on it.. heh.. den we took pic together & hopped on the train to meet shake at raffles place..
We were late.. sori ah shake.. normal la.. me.. and she wore her pink gio top.. which i have to admit is VERY NICE!! now i'm tempted to get it.. heh.. so off we went to FULLERTON!! heh.. ok.. now i dunno how to start.. ok.. here goes nothing..
We sat on the ledge.. me, noreen & shake.. all 3 of us juz sitting down there.. the ledge where lulu & liz sat while we went crazy on 25th Jan 2003.. haha.. den noreen wanted to go to the toilet so we followed her.. ahh.. it was like deja vu.. walking into the lobby.. except we were NOT in prom clothes.. haha.. it was the first time noreen entered the fullerton toilet.. then we went out.. hung around the lobby.. decided to ask this fullerton staff abt the MAA artistes.. and he was a bloody turn off..
Me: Can we know which of the MAA artistes are putting up here?
Him: I'm sorry we are not allowed to disclose any details..
WTF!! i wldn't have mind except for the fact that he had this smug look on the face.. eh brudder.. cldn't u smile??
So we went out.. then asked this chi uncle.. the doorman i think.. but at least he was nice abt it.. he told us that the artistes will either come out from the main lobby or thru the one downstairs.. but he can't confirm who.. so we went to stand at the back.. under the hot sweltering sun.. make up cair mann.. there were other fans as well.. most of them waiting for 5566.. or maybe BOA.. but it juz got too hot.. and me & shake saw merc after merc going out ferrying the make up artists.. dancers.. but not the stars themselves.. so we decided to move back to the ledge..
So we sat there.. swaying our feet.. and then..
Shake: Where's my camera?? (rummaging thru her bag furiously)
Me: It's not there??
Noreen: Did u leave it somewhere??
Me: Muz be in the toilet
So we went back in.. and her cam wasn't in there?? AHH!! PANICK!! PARANOIA!! i mean it's an expensive cam.. and if she doesn't find it.. that's it.. the rest of the day will go wasted.. and ya.. the only face that kept flashing thru shake's face was her mom's!! i understand.. i wld think of that too if i were her.. so we made a report la.. the staff said they aren't responsible for any lost belongings.. i recalled that when we came out of the toilet, the cleaner came in.. we saw her & asked her abt it.. and she was very nice u know..
Shake: Auntie.. i left my camera in the toilet..
She: Wait ah.. i call housekeeping.. check for u..
So it was a very intense wait.. everyone was solemn.. cos even though shake described to them her cam, they still didn't reveal whether they found it or not.. we were juz told to wait.. anyways.. PHEW!! they found her cam.. everyone felt so super relieved.. and we thanked the auntie profusely.. she even told us that luckily she came in after us.. if not.. ok.. dun wanna think abt it.. so from then on.. we kept looking out for each other..
We hung around the taxi stand area.. we didn't get chased away cos we were well behaved.. didn't even block the way.. so we stood next to the pillar.. me & shake with cameras in our hands..
We were juz chatting away.. when.. half of the Black Eyed Peas walked out!! i cldn't recognize them at first.. cos the only significant member from the grp is the gal.. so yeah.. we asked them nicely if we cld take pics wif them.. so it was shake first.. den me.. heh.. noreen was our camera woman.. THANKS BABE!! i still dunno their names.. but one of them was the filippino immigrant.. anyways.. they smell of cigarette..
Then.. guess who walked in?? BLUE's manager!! AHH!! the one that we followed all the way to centrept.. the one that we took pics with.. the one who gave us BLUE's flight details.. so we called out to him.. and he recognized us!! he even asked how are we doing.. heh.. so natural reaction.. i asked him abt BLUE..
Me: Is BLUE upstairs??
Him: Yeah..
Me: When will they be coming out??
Him: In a minute.. Juz wait here..
Me: U mean here??
Him: Yeah..
Me: Like here HERE??
Him: Yeah..
Haha.. the excitement was amounting.. i was juz thinking of duncan ALL THE WAY!! so we 1st saw simon.. he had a security beside him.. trying to whisk him off.. so simon went off with the other 2 Black Eyed Peas members.. then.. LEE CAME OUT!! he was in white.. dis gal took a pic with him.. den when i asked, the security juz whisked him away.. but by then duncan came out.. now.. juz imagine me.. running up to him..
Me: Duncan can i take a picture with u?
Duncan: Ok take..
WHOA!! like lightning i juz stood beside him.. smiling away.. looking at noreen.. and shake stood beside me.. sibuk je!! i wanted to take pic with him alone.. haha.. but takpe la.. i dun mind.. but shake it wld have been better if u had gone over to his right.. heh.. but WHO CARES?? I STOOD BESIDE DUNCAN JAMES!! I TOOK A PICTURE WITH HIM!! and i thot i wld faint u know.. cos.. his piercing blue eyes.. and he smelt so nice.. and he was in white again.. WHOA!! HOTTT!! HOTTT!! HOTTT!! after that i thanked him & he went off..
Shake called neeta to tell her what happened.. of course that stupid neeta didn't believe us cos i told shake to talk to her in an absolutely monotonous voice.. haha..
Shake: Hello neeta.. What are u doing?? Still at home??
(i didn't know what she said but..)
Shake: Anyway.. we juz took pics with half of the Back Eyed Peas..
(shake held the phone away from her & this was what i heard)
Neeta: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Shake: And BLUE's manager recognized us!!
Neeta: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Shake: And we juz took a photo with..
Me: Who's that hot guy huh?
Shake: Ya.. that one la.. the one who wore white on thurs..
Me: Ya.. the blonde one.. the absolute hottie..
Shake: I think his name starts from 'D'..
Me: Forgot his name la.. i think it's Duncan??
haha.. i know we were mean & evil.. but of course we enjoyed doing that to her.. and throughout the entire conversation she juz went AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! haha.. so we forced her to take a cab down to fullerton.. told her it wld be worth it.. so ya.. she spent 8 bucks on cab fare..
So when neeta came.. she still cldn't believe what we told her on the phone.. but noreen cld vouch for us.. then rite.. we stood at the exact same place.. talking away.. when the guys frm Black Eyed Peas came back.. and stupid neeta cldn't recognize them.. and by the time we wanted to call out to them they already went into the lobby..
Anyways.. noreen left.. so it was only the 3 of us.. haha.. there were these 2 doormen.. standing inside the lobby.. they juz changed shifts.. and.. haha.. i dun even know how to describe it.. but.. haha.. it was really damn funny.. imagine this scenario.. 3 of us standing outside at the pillar.. the 2 doormen inside.. standing smack in front of the door with their hands in front of them.. nicely placed at their crotch.. and they were juz STARING at us.!! and it wasn't that kinda stare that they were telling us to go off.. it was obvious they were staring cos.. well.. cos there were 3 pretty gals out there.. haha.. PERVERTS!! and both of them were mlys..
One of them looked like chi.. the shorter one.. he kept staring & smiling.. me & shake insisted that he was looking at neeta.. cos.. juz accept it la.. neeta is gorgeous.. each time we go out every guy wld look at her.. so me & shake purposely told er to walk away to see if he was really looking at neeta.. he continued looking outside.. so we came up with the assumption that it was neeta he was looking at.. haha.. oh.. then there was this one time shake looked at him & he smiled & waved..
Anyways.. we continued talking.. Shake was talking away when i saw this guy.. very familliar u know.. i knew he was somebody but simply cldn't recall who.. then..
Shake: Oh my god!! It's Timothy Goh!!
Neeta: Where?? Where??
Me: No wonder he looks familliar!!
Timothy was with another colleague from Channel Newsasia.. What's her name shake?? while they were waiting for the cab.. we asked them to take a pic with us.. so shake went first.. she wanted to take with the 2 of them.. of course the lady was like: I think u wld want to take with him alone.. haha.. but in the end they took a pic together.. it was the same for me & neeta.. except wen it was neeta's turn she had to bend down cos she was taller than him.. haha..
Ok.. i forgot to mention the fact that there was this mly bell boy who was flirting with neeta.. and of course she flirted back la.. what else is new right?? and.. my cute bell boy from last yr was still there.. with the same handphone.. heh.. but i think he got promoted to valet.. ohh.. we were standing there when i saw the guy in white walking back to the hotel.. rmbr the guy in white who we kept waving to during BLUE's autograph session?? okok.. he was actually in a black singlet.. i suspect it belongs to lee.. haha.. anywyas me & neeta juz went AHHHHHHH.. hbut it wasn't a loud one.. he turned around.. smiled at us & quickly went in.. dammit.. cldn't take a pic with him..
Anyways.. there was this one time i turned around.. and my cute guy looked at me too.. then he made signals with his eyes.. i followed his direction and.. oh god!! HYPER VENTILATION took place.. Lee was walking to the hotel.. u shld ask shake how my reaction was.. i juz started slapping her arms & said Lee's name.. heh.. by that time there were other fans around.. they managed to take a pic with Lee.. so when he walked towards us.. i asked la.. politely..
Me: Lee can i take a picture with u?
Lee: (shouting to the nice manager) 6 pictures!! same fucking girls!!
i am merely quoting & unquoting what he said.. he really said that.. i wasn't appalled at his language.. i thot he was talking abt ME!! but he was actually referring to the other grp of gals.. haha.. boy.. was i shocked for a while.. but i understand.. he's only human.. he's got his bad days.. juz like anyone of us.. he's allowed to use whatever language to express himself.. but i juz thought he shldn't have shouted that.. shld have juz kept it to himself.. what happens if the gals had heard it?? come to think of it.. i shld have pretended to be taken aback & asked if he was referring to me right?? haha.. then it was shake's turn.. and again poor neeta didn't get her chance.. pity u la.. but.. heh.. juz to rub it in.. I TOOK A PIC WITH LEE!!
Then simon came back.. Neeta took a pic with her.. but since he's dark we cldn't really see anything onshake's digicam.. haha.. then.. antony came back.. still wearing the same pink tee he wore on thurs.. neeta took a pic with him.. then it was me.. one thing i dun like abt antony is he can't keep his hands still.. when i was standing beside him he put his hands on my back (which was absolutely fine with me) but i wished he wld stop moving them up & down!! URGH!!.. den it was shake.. but no sign of duncan at all.. we didn't see him coming back.. and poor neeta was dying mann..
Then.. heh.. i saw this familliar figure walking towards the hotel.. in a long green apron.. LESTER!! haha.. once u see that spiky hair & the dimple.. u can juz melt.. i've always thot he was cute in sr.. heh.. so we talked to him la.. turned out BLUE had gone to Indochine for lunch.. and he was delivering the lunch they had requested to be packed.. it was funny seeing him in that long green apron.. i helped him hold the food while he tied his apron.. i think he was excited la.. cos when he talked to us.. saliva juz kept spewing out of his mouth.. heh.. but of course i was going: Oh my god!! He's cute.. he's cute.. and he actually asked us if we wanted to go Zouk with him in the evening.. sori ah.. i dun go clubbing.. i wun ever step into that kind of place.. but it was nice seeing him la.. he left the food at the reception & wen tback to work..
Then.. Liberty X came bak from their autograph session at Heeren.. they went out earlier at 1:30.. before neeta came.. and we didn't get a chance to take a pic with them then.. so yeah.. when they got off the van.. i juz went for the cute one in the band.. dunno his name.. but what the heck! he's cute!! heh.. and all 3 of us managed to have our pics taken with him.. heh.. the peepz from Liberty X were very nice.. frenly.. they took pics with everyone & autographed for everyone..
K.. then.. this guy from Machi came out.. u know.. the chi hip hop grp.. i think liza knows.. we weren't sure at first but since he has a cap with MACHI on it.. he shld be one of the members right?? after he put down the phone.. i helped neeta & shake to take pic for them.. neeta kept saying his tattoos were scary.. he told us he juz woke up.. quite a nice guy except for one major turn off.. he smokes!!
Then we noticed the 2 same doormen juz kept staring at us.. kinda irritating.. then me & shake purposely went to the toilet.. so the tall one had to open the door for us.. and.. haha.. another funny thing happened.. haha..
Him: Nak masuk? (in english: Wanna go in?)
Me: We wanna go to the toilet..
Him: Ok..
I mean.. wtf?? do i look like i wanna go out?? dumb qn right?? haha.. if only i had been sarcastic to him.. but.. haha.. i shall continue abt him later.. i need to follow the sequence of events..
When we came out.. he opened the door for us.. told neeta what happened.. anyways she had to leave.. for her date.. it's always neeta who has to leave early.. if i were her, i wld have stayed on.. i mean it's not often we get to do this.. plus.. duncan still hasn't walked back to the hotel..
Den rite.. there was this guy.. in a red cap.. me & shake were not sure if he was from simple plan.. he kept walking in & out.. bk plastic bag la.. anyways this grp of gals started clamouring to him for pics & autograph.. oh.. what the heck.. me & shake followed suit.. haha.. but he was really cute la.. most of the gals said that.. up till now i'm still not sure if he's from simple plan.. cos his fren was also there.. and they were saying to each other: Oh.. we're hot mann.. i mean.. if they were from simple plan.. they wldn't be walking in & out right?? anyways.. he smokes.. sigh..
Then.. suddenly this grp of fans out of nowhere started crowding near the lobby.. what else?? 5566.. god!! they juz started screaming!! it wasn't total chaos but.. dun scream for goodness sake!! not at the hotel.. and cos of them.. we got chased out.. SHEESH!! stupid 5566 fans!!
So we had to leave.. imagine this scenario.. the short doorman inside gesturing to shake.. asking for her no.. haha.. so it was shake he was looking at.. not neeta.. after a while we went to the toilet again!! on the way out shake passed him her no.. ok ok actually it went like this..
Shake: What were u asking me for juz now?
Him: Oh.. i wanted to ask for ur no..
Shake: Ok.. take it..
Him: Huh??
Shake: Take my no..
(he didn't see that shake had already written it on a piece of paper so he took out his hp)
Shake: I wrote it down already..
When he took the paper from shake, his superior walked past.. Shake didn't see it but he noticed what happened.. so.. haha.. good luck to him mann.. by the way his name is sufiyan.. or as he called himself.. yan.. heh.. and he smsed shake like an hr later..
So.. we went to starbucks.. we were walking past the singapore river.. when we saw the guy.. supposedly from simple plan.. this time he was carrying something from delifrance.. and he smiled at us!! HEE!!
So.. that was how we spent v-day.. we ate at sakura.. walked around.. actually both of us were juz zoned out.. cldn't even decide what food to order.. then we did the silliest thing.. decided to walk to dhoby ghaut from city hall.. haha.. and trust me.. our legs cld break any moment.. so halfway thru we juz flagged a cab.. dropped shake off first.. then me..
When i got home i juz sat down.. aching all over.. then.. shake called heh.. she told me that sufiyan said his fren.. the other door man who asked me the dumb qn actually wanted to get to know me..
HAHA.. yday was juz so happening!! can't believe it..
Sigh.. my duncan has flown off.. sigh.. oh well.. i'll juz hav to be satisfied watching his fraternal twin.. weekdays.. on ch 5.. at noon.. heh..
14 FEBRUARY 2004.. DUNCAN JAMES IS MINE!! MINE!! MINE ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!
If u look up in Azreen's Dictionary of Absolutely Accurate Definitions.. this is what u'll see:
HOT: Duncan James
SEXY: Duncan James
GORGEOUS: Duncan James
COOL: Duncan James
haha.. i am still trying to digest what happened yday.. heh.. nothing great la.. but.. heh.. it was juz.. well.. can't even find the words to describe it..
so.. before i start.. let me clear my throat first.. it has been hurting since yday.. probably cos i've not screamed in a long time..
so yeah.. promised shake & neeta to meet at somerset at 12.. den it was 11:30 & i was still home.. so ya.. took a cab.. besides it was like damn hot.. so.. anyways.. they came at 12:15 i think.. and i reached there at 11:45!! haha.. i looked like a ghost.. cos i put on foundation (muz look pretty for duncan what!) and dunno y i juz looked so white!! so neeta's first reaction was: Look so feminine for what?? haha.. cos i was wearing a green top & a knee length skirt.. neeta.. i PURPOSELY chose to wear it.. cos.. ya.. all cos of duncan..
So we walked to Heeren.. at the traffic light some guys were handing out California Fitness Centre VIP passes.. valid for a wk.. but it was only for those above 21 yrs of age.. and again neeta asked us: Do we look 21?? relax la babe.. who cares! they juz had to do their job..
Anyways.. no queue at Heeren.. asked the HMV security.. he said the event was outside.. since there wasn't any queue.. we went to eat at Breeks.. and boy was i full!! cos they served in large portions.. so it was value for money.. it was neeta's & shake's 1st time eating at Breeks.. so they were curious abt the diff kind of drinks.. but i like what i ate.. what was it shake?? Chicken in tomato essence?? it's better eating at Breeks then Swensens.. if u're really hungry.. except that i think the service was quite slow.. it took AGES for our drinks to arrive.. neeta cldn't finish her food.. so we packed the fries & garlic bread.. but wateva it is.. now i'm gonna boycott Swensens.. it's BREEKS ALL THE WAY!! ok.. except when i feel like eating ice cream.. cos i still like Swensen's ice cream compared to Breeks..
So.. it was already 2 plus.. so we went to the area outside Heeren.. there was a few ppl in the queue.. then these 2 gals.. i think they were from thailand chatted with us.. they came to singapore juz to see vanness.. anyways.. we gave them details abt MAA & stuff.. they were very nice gals.. then turned out we were in the wrong queue.. cos the queue actually started at the area outside the swatch shop.. but ok la.. it wasn't that long..
So we sat there.. took pics.. talked & laughed.. criticised ppl.. and it was good criticism ok!! saw some gd looking guys.. got barricaded by the security officers.. had to answer some unwanted smses.. butts hurting.. at 5.. they moved us into the area in front of the stage.. and my heart was thumping like mad cos the music was blasting away.. like nobody's business.. then shuqing called.. we were supposed to look buy some stuff together after the event ended.. but she was too tired & i didn't know what time it was gonna end.. and it's not nice to keep her waiting.. so yeah.. she dropped by.. we shouting into each other's ears cos the music was damn loud.. and I LIKE HER HAIR!! haha..
I distinctively remembered shake saying: It's only 530.. a short while later.. JA & JR came on stage.. trying to psyche us up for Blue's arrival.. u know.. the norms.. let me hear u scream!! Blue wun come out unless u guys scream!! all that crap.. we weren't excited.. cos let's face it.. it wasn't Blue onstage.. no duncan.. no lee.. then the guys said that Blue will arrive in 3 mins but if we do not scream it wld take them 3 days to arrive.. me & shake were like: whateva.. cos it was supposed to start at 6.. but u know la.. these kinda ppl NEVER arrive on time.. i was even expecting them to arrive at 7..
SHRIEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY CAME!! and they were EARLY!! to think earlier on neeta was telling me that she wld love them if they came early.. haha.. i'm really IMPRESSED!! i salute them mann.. so everybody.. cameras in their hands.. ready to take a shot of the 1st person to come out from the van.. HAHA!! the bloody manager.. he's actually a nice guy.. will tell u guys later..
But ya.. Lee came out next.. TOTAL CHAOS!! i juz started screaming away.. i cldn't contain it.. and when i saw duncan.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!! at least for me.. cos he was juz.. HOTTTT!!! SEXY!!!! GORGEOUS!!! COOL!!! when he strutted up the stage.. WHOA!!! wif THAT hair.. THAT look.. WHOA!! i'm melting mann.. cair.. and he was wearing WHITE!! haha.. he set temperatures rising.. at least for me.. heh.. he juz had to stand on stage.. or lean against the table.. he DIDN'T have to do anything & he was juz.. YUMMY!! haha..
So when we went onstage.. i asked for a hug from duncan.. pretty disappointed that i cldn't smell any cologne on him.. but what the heck.. I GOT TO HUG DUNCAN!!! when we were abt to hug, he puckered up his lips.. of course i didn't kiss him on the lips la.. CRAZY AH?? but juz to be able to HUG him & hear the MUACKZ is enuff for me.. and neeta asked him if he has a clone.. and i think she scared him when she told him she love him.. haha.. and the last person to autograoh the CD sleeve was Lee.. and i was surprised at how frenly he was.. he said Hi to everyone.. correction.. he said: Hi Babe!! heh.. ohh.. when he was abt to sign my CD sleeve.. a gal handed him something.. he opened it on the spot.. there was a choc cake inside.. and he told someone to put it aside.. shake.. we shld have juz given him the fries & garlic bread huh?? anyways.. a hug from lee.. and ya.. *swoon*..
After that we were thirsty.. went to starbucks.. hung around some more juz to see Blue.. we were actually quite far from the stage.. and i think quite bored.. so.. heh.. there was this guy in white.. on stage.. maybe he was one of Blue's tour managers.. and he looks quite.. nice.. and no.. he wasn't the one who came out of the van first.. anyways.. each time he looked towards the crowd.. we wld start waving & pointing at him.. juz for the heck of it.. juz to get his attn.. haha.. and we did it so many times.. dunno if he noticed.. but.. yeah.. he stopped looking at the crowd.. then a short while later he got down the stage.. haha..
Ok this is getting pretty long.. but bear with me.. if u guys want details.. read on.. we made our way to the back of the stage.. to the area where Blue will eventually board their van.. and we had to go the long way.. so anyways.. while waiting at the back.. there was this caucasian gal.. in pink spaghetti strap.. micro mini skirt.. earlier on when she went on stage.. Lee juz kept talking to her.. suspicions.. heh.. and yeah the manager talked to her & stuff.. of course we were curious la.. anyways.. Blue boarded their van.. we snapped away.. screaming.. heh.. waving.. and Lee looked extremely happy.. and his eyes were busy searching for the gal in pink.. sheesh..
Now it's time to talke abt the other manager.. the bald & big sized one.. he didn't take the van with Blue.. we saw him talking to the gal in pink.. so we followed.. crossed the traffic light.. heh.. neeta & zubaidah followed the pink gal.. me & shake followed him cos they went separate ways.. he was with his wife & daughter.. they went into guardian.. so me & shake hung around outside.. heh.. den neeta called.. told her to meet us outside guardian.. she was like: Bloody BItch!! So rude!! haha.. of course she was referring to the pink gal la.. apparently they asked her some qns but of course she was being a bitch & stuff..
Then the manager left guardian.. so.. yeah.. we started following him.. from a distance.. luckily it was crowded.. we juz had to look out for his bald head.. heh.. OH NO!! he started to cross the traffic light in front of Specialist Shopping Centre & we were nowhere near him.. so we juz dashed across the rd.. of course the cars had stopped la.. so.. followed him again.. into centrept.. he went into timberland.. when he came out we juz called out to him.. asked qns abt Blue's flight details.. and he told us!! very sweet.. very nice.. he may looked menacing.. but he wasn't AT ALL.. really very nice.. then we took a pic with him.. since he was soooooo HUGE he practically squeezed the life out of me & shake.. haha.. it was like a really tight squeeze!!
So yeah.. that was what happened yday.. umm.. had lots of fun.. but i wonder wassup with all the radio interviews?? it was like only 15 mins max.. might as well not do any interviews at all right?? but.. SIGH.. DUNNNNNCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!!
Oh.. i forgot to mention something else.. when i got off the stage, this lady from cleo told us she's doing a report on crazy fans.. and.. asked if she cld have my no.. so yeah.. i gave it to her.. now i'm praying very very hard that cleo will be doing an interview with Blue.. maybe tmr.. and that the lady will call me up to join them for the interview.. haha.. i'm seriously praying very hard.. haha..
DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything happened toooooooo fast!! Still not satisfied!! BELUM PUAS!! I WANT DUNCAN ALL TO MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EWWWWW.. tmr's event will be hosted by JA & JR.. sigh..
oh well.. at least i'll be able to give duncan my utmost attention.. MUAHAHA..
and duncan.. if u're reading this.. I LOVE U TO BITS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I WANNA SEE U TMR!! AND THE DAY AFTER!! AND THE DAY AFTER.. U'RE MINE!!
MUAHAHA!! ok.. that was a bit over the top.. heh..
ok ok.. wateva it is..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MUAHAHAHA!! back from my grandma's hse.. left wif her & my aunt when they decided to go to abang mas's hse.. and i feel like puking.. cos.. I ATE LIKE A PIG!! dammit.. i wun look pretty tmr.. will look so chubby.. and fat.. alamak shake.. all my babat bergegar.. *shake* *shake*.. haha.. *makes that sound*.. wateva was on the table, i juz ate.. then slept.. when i woke up again, it was off to the kitchen rummaging for food.. and it didn't help that my grandma was willing to satisfy every single craving of mine.. we went to the shop together la.. then she cooked some stuff.. haha..
Ohh.. juz collected the pics.. the pics taken at Z's hse.. at the office.. during my birthday.. and those taken at malacca & animal safari.. haha.. all in one film.. sori peepz.. it took me this long to develop them.. but dun worry.. tmr shake & neeta will get to see them.. heh..
and as usual i look "gorgeous" in the pics.. HUR HUR.. *wriggles my fingers*..
And yesssssssss.. i'm damn excited abt tmr.. AHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! SHRIEKS!!!!!! SCREAMS!!!!!!!! ONE OF MY BFS WILL BE IN TOWN!!!!!! DUNCAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUG MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U DUNCAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U TOO AZREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we will run into each other's arms & start kissing like nobody's business.. haha.. wait a min.. where did THAT come from?? ok ok.. DREAM ON AZREEN.. but yeah.. i'm very excited juz thinking abt it.. i hope i wun freeze or something.. i hope i wun smile like some stupid idiot & regret not asking him for a hug.. ok.. i think i wun.. cos i shld have gotten used to such things by now right?? but it's been an absolutely LONG time since i actually saw someone famous.. and i mean someone who's REALLY HOTTTT & GORGEOUS & SEXY.. so ya.. i wun know what i'll do too..
Actually i've not told my mom abt tmr.. haven't asked her permission.. what happens if she wun let me go?? *major heartbreak*.. haha.. not as if i'm not suffering from one right now.. but yeah.. IF that happens.. then my heart will really be in millions of pieces.. but i think she shld be ok wif it la.. afterall it's been AGES since i went out.. so.. ya..
Anyways.. shake.. and neeta (if u HAPPEN to be reading this).. pretty excited to see u guys.. heh.. now i muz think of what to wear.. dunno if i wanna look feminine.. or casual.. my butt is gonna be glued there the ENTIRE day.. i wun budge.. ok ok.. maybe for toilet breaks.. or to grab a bite.. abd shake.. i'm having my period.. so if u wanna pray, u'll have to go to al-falah urself..
Dammit.. i dun think i'll be able to sleep a wink tonight.. afterall it's wed nite.. and there's american idol.. holland v.. csi.. the agency.. the district.. days of our lives.. beverly hills.. dark angel.. by the time i off the tv it'll be 5am!! and i have to be up early.. have to dress up.. look pretty for duncan.. and maybe for lee.. heh.. who knows there might be utt.. haha..
Oh well.. at least my life is starting to return to normal.. juz a lil bit.. but.. yeah.. the wounds juz dun seem to heal.. there's juz too much that time cannot erase..
Use Oral-B toothbrush.. it really cleanses ur teeth of dirt & plaque.. after juz 1 use, u can see the difference.. trust me.. my teeth are whiter & cleaner after juz 1 use!! haha.. so ppl.. i'm the new spokesperson for Oral-B.. product endorsement.. that's what i'm doing now.. and the pay is really good!! heh.. CRAP!! i mean i'm juz talking rubbish abt the prodt endorsement thingy.. but Oral-B toothbrush REALLY works!! cos i changed my toothbrush yday.. then ya.. my teeth are whiter.. but that doesn't mean my mom can forget abt bringing me to the dentist.. i love going to the dentist.. polish & scaling.. that's what i always do.. heh..
Ok.. i'm blabbering huh?? I dunno y either.. so yeah.. i engaged in retail therapy yday.. cos i needed to destress badly.. so lots of self indulgence.. bought 2 pairs of earrings.. then after fetching my cousins from sch, i brought them to macs.. that's my routine every tuesdays.. to fetch my cousins.. sheesh.. and i'm not even being paid for it!! nvm la.. i'll do anything for them.. then spent here.. spent there.. wah!! wasted money u know.. but who cares!! i felt good at the end of the day..
Then in the evening after my parents picked me up at my grandma's we took my aunt from her workplace & brought her to the car showroom.. i tell u.. from 2 wks ago, she's still undecided abt which car she wanna get.. but it's fun going to showrooms la.. and yday.. the salesman was VERY CUTE!! his name is rick hiah.. weird surname.. but ya.. I've got his card mann.. so maybe i shld ask him out for v-day.. haha.. so anyways.. the Hundai Coupe really captured my eyes!! wah!! red in colour.. so sleek!! it was juz.. INDESCRIBABLE!! haha.. but it costs $86 888.. wah.. if i were to get it.. i wun need to eat for 10 yrs!! haha.. but ya.. it's really very nice..
After that we went to eat at simpang bedok.. i had cheese steak.. my fave.. ohh.. saw suzairhe.. ishak ahmad.. bleah.. but suzairhe smiled at me.. if it was mikhail ke.. or izzat.. or sani hussin.. or khairuddin saharom.. i dun mind la.. but.. heh.. ok forget it.. i dun even know what i'm trying to get at..
Then right.. when i reached home.. i saw an envelope on the table.. no i was at the gate.. trying to open it & my dad was already inside the hse.. and i recognised the HUGE stamp on the envelope.. RELC!! AHH!! which means my long-awaited pay has arrived!! AHH!! was so excited u know!! so i got paid $505.50 for 2 wks of work.. and that is after cpf deduction.. not bad huh?? cos the work wasn't difficult at all.. tiring but fun.. very satisfactory.. heh..
So what am i gonna do today?? Accompany my grandma.. cos the contractors are gonna do some hacking & she doesn't wanna be home alone with them.. which means she wun be going to abang mas's hse today..
Ok.. i seriously have to go.. cos my stomach is hurting.. need to shit badly!!
POOOOOOOOOOOT.............
The First Cut Is The Deepest - Sheryl Crow (Fantastic Song!!)
I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst
I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst
I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
When it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst
The first cut is the deepest baby i know
The first cut is the deepest try to love again...
Juz when u thot u cld trust someone.. well.. something happens.. and right now i dunno what to do.. all i wanna say is.. if u were trying to damage the frenship i shared with shuqing.. well.. U FAILED.. i know shuqing.. and i trust her with all my heart.. and there's no way she cld haf said all those things.. it's either u heard wrongly or u misinterpreted it.. like u said.. u heard it from indah too.. so someone muz have twisted the whole thing.. and i KNOW it's NOT shuqing.. so there..
And yeah.. i smsed u last nite cos i thot we cld talk.. as frenz.. but what u asked at the beginning of the conversation really hurt.. so i guess its true.. a scrapped knee is even better then getting ur heart broken.. that's y i cried over the phone last nite.. i know u dun hate me.. i guess u DESPISE me.. maybe that's y u said all those things to spite me..
I know my decision really hurt u.. and I'm sorry.. I'm really really sorry.. I guess no matter how much i apologise profusely, it wun make a difference right?? No matter what i say wun make a difference right?? U said so urself.. but y do u keep insisting that i say what's on my mind when wateva i say wun make a difference.. to u?? i dunno what is it that u want.. i know u're hurt & angry at me.. i understand.. u have a right to be mad at me.. to DESPISE me.. but u shldn't have twisted the whole thing!! u shldn't have even tried to damage the wonderful frenship me & shuqing share!! i know abt the ring.. i know abt the cards.. i know..
Initially i thot it was very sweet of u.. and i was MOVED.. and TOUCHED when i heard abt the ring.. the cards.. and what u told shuqing.. but then when i thot of what u said.. abt me treating all this as a game.. and u choosing to accept it cos SUPPOSEDLY it was from shuqing.. it juz turned me off..
And u cld even sms me this morning to ask how i'm feeling?? HELLO!!!!!!!! how do u think i'm feeling?? ELATED?? OVER THE MOON?? GREAT?? FANTASTIC?? yeah rite!! MY NOSE!! and u told me that shuqing told u not to tell me whateva she said to u.. but u did.. and last nite after i put down the phone, u actually had the cheek to sms her to apologize?? what's this?? what the heck do u think u are doing??
I am really very tired.. all i want is to be taken out of this confusion.. that's all i'm asking for.. nothing much.. but now things have become worst!! u really hurt me..
Trust me.. it wasn't my intention at all to hurt u.. I thot of sending u off.. on the 14th.. as a fren.. but u dun wanna see me.. see.. u DESPISE me.. and i dunno what u told abang mas.. nothing but lies i suppose?? make it seem like ure the victim here?? and i'm the villain?? and i was playing wif ur feelings?? leading u on?? and that despite all that u had a great time throughout the entire 12 days?? u have not only hurt me.. but u hurt shuqing as well.. she teared last nite u know..
U said last nite that all u want is for me to be happy.. so do u think i'm happy now?? no wait a min.. are u happy now that u have ended up hurting me with ur spiteful words?? are u SATISFIED now?? DAH PUAS HATI?? and dun tell me that u really aren't aware that wateva u said last nite wld end up hurting me.. c'mon la.. use ur brain! i know u are very good with words.. so obviously u muz have thought abt it.. u muz have condensed ur thots really well..
U know what.. i wish i didn't get to know u.. i wish i hadn't even bothered smiling at u.. i wish i hadn't even bothered to strike up a conversation with u abt abang mas.. i wish i hadn't told u abt farid so u needn't have "tried" to make me forget him.. and as a gesture of politeness from me: Thx for "trying" anyway....................
Bukan Cinta Biasa - Siti Nurhaliza
Begitu banyak cerita,
Ada suka ada duka,
Cinta yang ingin ku tulis,
Bukanlah cinta biasa
Dua keyakinan beza,
Masalah pun tak sama,
Ku tak ingin dia ragu,
Mengapa mereka slalu bertanya,
Cintaku bukan di atas kertas,
Cintaku getaran yang sama,
Tak perlu di paksa,
Tak perlu di cari,
Kerna ku yakin da jawabnya,
Andaiku bisa merubah semua,
Hingga tiada orang terluka,
Tapi tak mungkin ,
Ku tak berdaya,
Hanya yakin menunggu jawabnya....
Janji terikat setia,
Masa merubah segala,
Mungkin dia kan berlalu,
Ku tak mahu mereka tertawa,
Diriku hanya insan biasa,
Miliki naluri yang sama,
Tak ingin berpaling,
Tak ingin berganti,
Jiwa ku sering saja berkata
Andai ku mampu ulang semula,
Ku pasti tiada yang curiga
Kasih kau hadir
Tiada terduga
Hanya yakin menunggu jawapan
And i watched Kal Ho Naa Ho.. AGAIN!! juz now.. sigh.. i juz can't seem to get enuff of it.. can't help it.. shah rukh khan juz looks so HOTTT in it.. and his acting is superb.. and the storyline is good.. and i love the hindi version of Pretty Woman..
So yeah.. went to masjid mydin today.. and the ustaz was very funny today.. haha.. i was laughing like mad.. the stuff he talked abt.. haha..
So am i willing to part with $25?? I dunno la shake.. i'm not being a scrooge.. but.. and i already parted with abt $20 for the cd.. let me think abt it.. but actually i dun feel like going to MAA.. dunno y..
So yeah.. my day was pretty boring.. oh yeah.. yday.. Abang Erza looked damn HOTT!! serious!! i dunno what he did to his hair but he juz looked damn GOOD!! haha.. when he walked towards us, i juz melted mann.. CAIR.. but cant do anything la.. he's my cousin.. and he's got a gf.. lucky gal!! but too bad he'll be bald soon.. NS!!
MUAHAHA.. dunno wat to say.. that's all for now..
MUACKZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I haf juz woken up.. as in officially awake.. cos i was drifitng in & out of sleep juz now.. and as i'm blogging.. shake is at the heeren with zubaidah.. seeing with their own eyes how crazy it is at the MAA rd shows.. so seeing is believing right?? now u know what it's like.. right shake?? right zubaidah??
So yeah.. let me give u an account of what happened in my highly uninteresting life this morning.. i got woken up by my mom.. cos my dad left for work without her.. yes.. they are at it again.. argument over what i dunno.. all i know was my mom came home in a bad mood.. i served dinner but my mom didn't eat.. and my dad.. well.. he ate.. and he was being his own quiet self.. did his work.. i really dun want history to repeat itself.. i think only 1 or 2 of u only know this.. that my parents were not on talking terms ever since i was 9 and it was only halfway thru my sec 4 yr that things got better.. so.. sigh.. i'm no longer that affected by it.. juz tired.. wateva happens, happens..
And then i went online.. checked my mails.. sheesh.. he hasn't logged on yet.. so that means he hasn't read my email.. i'm nervous & excited over his reply.. but since he hasn't checked his mail yet, guess i have some more time to prepare myself for the worst..
Then i went back to bed.. an hr later one of my aunts called.. wanted to collect something.. GRRRR.. ROOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!! she said she wld reach at 10.. but when it was 10, her batang hidung tak nampak pun.. called her up & said she wun arrive that early.. sheesh.. cdln't she informed me?? call at 8 for wat?? so when she finally came, i went downstairs without bathing.. juz slipped on my jeans, put a bit of powder on my face.. and i went to the shops to buy the papers.. bought breakfast.. which till now is still untouched on the table..
Then it was shake.. yessss.. my darling shake.. telling me abt some stuff.. which highly interested me.. and up till now i still dunno if i shld repeat what i did last yr.. but shake.. i think things will be like last yr la.. unless fullerton changes their policy & imposes strict rules.. or if security becomes really tight.. eh shake.. who knows we can even jump into a cab & say: Follow that car!! and i will definitely do this for duncan.. MUAHAHA!!!
So i finally got to sleep.. then.. my grandma called!! ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! i really wanted to scream my head off!! and as usual she talked abt stuff.. talked abt what she has been doing at abang mas's place.. so she finally put down the phone.. then.. i think abt an hr later my aunt called!!!
Me: Hello...........
Aunt: I finally watched Kal Ho Naa Ho!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh.. ok.. yeay (with sarcasm in my voice).. FINALLY..
Aunt: Yeah.. cik rosli bought it yday.. i wanted to stay up to watch it but fell asleep at 1.. so i got up this morning & continued watching it..
Me: Okaaaaaayyyy.. so do u like the story??
Aunt: It's ok.. Kinda short i think..
Me: Mmmmm..
Aunt: How long was it when u watched it at the cinema??
Me: 3 hrs plus la!! Normal what..
Aunt: Ohh.. this one has 4 cds.. they included the making of the movie as well.. but it's juz a short clip..
Me: Ok.. great!! the making......
Aunt: Then how long was the interval??
Me: Abt 10 mins..
Aunt: Ohhhhhh.. so what are u doing now??
Me: Trying to get a proper sleep without interruptions..
Aunt: OIII!! it's already noon!! wake up la!!
Me: Ala.. who cares.. i've got nothing to do anyway.. besides i'm an owl.. only fully awake at night..
Aunt: So ayah & ibu not at home la..
Me: (sigh) No.. both of them working..
Aunt: Ok la.. wont disturb u.. nabilah juz got home from sch.. i wanna switch on Kal Ho Naa Ho for her..
Me: Ok bye!
and i put down the phone without waiting for her to say anything.. i wasn't trying to be rude.. but NOBODY DISTURBS ME WHEN I'M SLEEPING!! ROOOOOAAAARRR!!!
den 10 mins later.. it was MY MOM!! asked if my aunt came to collect the stuff.. asked if i had eaten & some other stuff which i can't recall cos i was half asleep.. all i know was she ended the phone call abruptly.. i think one of her colleagues called her..
so yes.. i was sleeping like a log.. even dreaming that jamie yeo called me up & took down my particulars.. she said if they've got extra MAA tix, she'll give me a call.. sheesh.. is my life that pathetic?? it's like i'm on welfare.. for MAA TIX!!!
and then.. the damn contractor started his work!! URGH!!!!! cos the carpark at my hse is going under renovation.. and today it's over at MY area.. right smack in front of the window of MY ROOM!! so that was it.. i got up & on this bloody computer.. and still he hasn't checked his mail........................................
so that was a sneak peak into my so very mundane life.. and i've not bathed.. i've not taken my breakfast.. i juz set the washing machine to work.. i feel soooooooo very lazy to bathe.. wish i cld juz hire someone to bathe me.. but that only happens when i'm dead right?? sigh..
so what am i gonna do for the rest of the day?? i dunno.. i have the tv for company.. and tonight i'm gonna watch Band of Brothers.. wanna look out for the password so that i can join the contest to win a free phone.. i almost wanted to go for the mosh pit audition with my cousin.. but.. nope.. i wun step into such a place..
and yes shake.. i'll be there this thurs.. at heeren.. at 10 am.. haha.. ok ok not that early but i'm gonna queue.. juz for the heck of it.. cos it's been a long time since i did it.. in fact the last time that i actually sat in a queue for hrs was for the exact same thing at heeren.. so interested in joining me??
i really need to do something with my life...............................
I cried while watching the oprah winfrey show today.. it was very touching.. today's episode was abt women from thrid world countries.. being a geog student, i know abt the probz that they are facing.. but when i saw it on tv, it really tugged at my heartstrings..
Dr Katherine Hamlin.. an australian gynae.. fast approaching 80 yrs old.. she has devoted almost 50 yrs of her life trying to cure ethiopian women of fistula.. so wat is fistula u may wonder?? well.. the answer can be found IN MY NOSE!! haha..
Ok ok.. fistula is a situation where there's a hole in the vagina area.. it happens when women as young as 12 goes into labour & isn't treated properly.. so yeah.. urine juz keeps leaking out.. anyways.. Dr Hamlin has been giving free surgeries to these women.. so they will not be outcasts.. so that they will not be shunned by others.. and after they haf recuperated, she gives them a new dress to go home in..
U've got to watch the show for uself.. it wun have any effect on u if u juz read this.. and they need funding.. US$450 000 a yr.. I WANNA DONATE!!
I've always known that there are ppl out there with much bigger probz than me.. what u saw today was an eye opener.. why is life like this?? Why can't my life be like max & liz who finally got married after graduation?? Why can't my life be like maria's & michael's?? ok.. sori.. i was too engrossed in the last episode of Roswell.. watched it thrice on Starworld.. sigh.. i dun mind spending the rest of my life with an alien.. as long as i'm happy.. but then again such things only happen in reel life..
Shake.. thx for the reply.. i teared a bit when i read it.. it was really touching.. I know there are other ppl who loves me.. they love me for who i am.. but why is it that my thots juz keep wandering to him?? It's not that i dun appreciate those who love me.. I do.. I'm really thankful I've got them in my life.. I'm glad that I can turn to them when i've got probz..
So what shld i do with my life?? I dunno.. I'm getting very worried over my results.. I dun wanna get it back.. cos i dun have gd feelings abt it.. I'm peeing in my shorts waiting for an ans from him.. yes.. i decided to email him instead.. I wanna go to the MTV Asia Awards but i dunno how to get tix.. call perfect 10?? go to the rd shows & dress up like some nut so that they wld choose me?? switch from singtel to an mtv code subscriber?? buy tix in the black market from ppl who charge exhorbitantly high prices??
I really dunno.. I wanna enjoy myself.. before the results come out.. before i have to decide what my nest step shld be.. but yet at the same time i juz wanna sit at home.. i juz wanna rot.. i juz wanna blast away the stereo.. watch lots of tv.. curl up on the sofa reading my bk.. but when i do these things my mind will start to wander.. and if i get a job, i'll be busy.. then i wun have a life!!
So yeah.. life's complicated.. it was a coincidence the song "Mixed Up World" by Sophie Ellis Bextor came up.. So if ure feeling kinda mixed up.. juz rmbr its a mixed up world.. and if u think life is juz too tough.. juz rmbr ure a real tough girl..
If only life is that easy.. if only everything can be taken with a pinch of salt........
I wish i cld be whisked away to a linkin park concert.. right NOW.. right at dis VERY moment.. yup.. i juz wanna scream my lungs out.. juz wanna release watever is inside.. all the negativity.. like i told shuqing last nite.. dispel all negativity.. breathe in all de positive elements..
Speaking of linkin park.. shake.. for de past few yrs, they do give out tix to MAA on de day itself.. all u've gotta do is hang around outside de stadium & there'll be someone who'll be giving out de tix.. i dunno abt dis yr though.. so if u really really wanna go, den u can do dat.. de bad thing is i think u wun be able to be at de front of de queue.. cos u'll haf to hang around to get de tix.. unless there's someone to queue for u.. or maybe u cld juz switch from singtel to an mtv code subscriber.. den u'll get free tix..
I am feeling very drained right now.. partly cos i slept at 4:30 last nite.. i watched american idol.. holland v.. rather i kept switching between ch 5 & ch 8.. cos i wanna watch CSI & holland v.. den there was dark angel.. den i watched The District.. Days of Our Lives.. den they showed a snippet of Planet's Funniest Animal.. den there was dis show at 3 am.. which i watched but didn't exactly watched.. i was juz on my bed.. eyes glued to de tv but thinking abt something else.. den i was up at 7:30..
SIGH.. life is hard huh?? de thing abt me is it takes me abt a day for things to sink in.. u know.. yday i was going crazy staying at home.. i didn't wanna go out cos my left eye is still swollen.. de pain started on sat.. each time i blink it wld be painful.. den my eyes started to swell.. now there's a lump in my eye.. de swelling isn't dat bad now but de lump refuses to go away.. but yeah.. i had to get out of de hse.. went to jurong pt.. smsed my mom.. so i walked around for a while.. my mom came to meet me after work.. we ate at banquet & stuff..
U know.. jurong pt is de only shopping mall in singapore dat wun bring back any memories to me.. its de place where i seek solace whenever i'm feeling down.. it has everything u know.. ok.. except for burger king.. but it has banquet.. McCafe.. coffee bean.. all those nice clothes shops.. and i spent lots of money yday.. i actually paid for all de food.. packed some stuff from coffee bean.. my dad came to pick us up.. went for dinner at west coast.. it did take my mind off things.. only for a while..
Shake.. it's ok to talk abt such stuff.. afterall its UR blog.. who bloody cares right?? I can't express myself well verbally.. dat's y blogging is de only way for me express myself.. Shake.. i share ur sentiments.. de thing abt dis issue is dat no matter how much we talk abt it.. no matter how much we try to get opinions from different ppl, it still wun make things better.. it doesn't even make us feel better.. i dunno abt u.. but dat's wat i feel.. wat i want is answers.. i wanna hear it from de horse's mouth.. dat's de only way out..
Shake.. thx for asking me if i wanna meet up today & talk abt it.. i dun wanna do dat.. it's cos i've already written de letter.. yes.. de letter dat i've been putting off for so long.. only now i dunno how to pass it to him.. i dunno wat i'm gonna do if i get an ans from him.. i'm open to anything.. he might not haf de same feelings for me anymore.. wateva his ans is, i'll accept it..
Sometimes de truth hurts.. but it's still ironic how i still wanna find out de truth.. i wun crumble.. no doubt it'll take me a very long time to get over dis.. to get over him.. mabe it'll take me yrs.. it'll take a long time for my heart to open up to another guy.. to accept another guy.. de heart is de strongest muscle in de body.. but y is it de easiest to break??
Yup.. there are many fishes in de sea.. but u know wat shake?? i think there's a hole in our nets.. maybe we did catch de right fish.. were we foolish enuff to let it go?? i certainly didn't.. de fish dat i caught chose to escape thru de net.. i dun believe in keeping my fish in captivity.. it has its own life too.. if de fish was meant to be mine, i wldn't haf lost it.. if de fish had wanted to stay wif me, it wldn't haf chosen to escape right?? i will choose not to fix my net.. for now my net is out in de open sea.. only time will tell if de right fish comes along & choose to stay there.........
Right now can someone pls take dis lonely & distressed fisherman back to land?? Dis lonely & distressed fisherman still longs to go to a linkin park concert..
I never thought it would happen to me.. I thought such things only happens in the reel life.. But I was so wrong..
I dunno what's going on thru ur mind right now.. I know u muz be wondering why i accepted u in the first place.. U've always asked me that qn.. And i told u to stop cos i didn't like it.. It felt as if u were doubting my feelings.. So let me give u an answer right now.. I accepted u cos u were very sincere.. U were persistent.. i dun mean persistent in a bad way.. It's positive.. Cos by being persistent it shows that u really want it to happen.. So ur sincerity won me over.. And those few times that i went out wif u, i felt really comfortable in ur presence.. Ur sense of humour.. U tolerated my crap..
And i thought i've moved on.. Cos during those period my mind didn't think about him.. not even once.. maybe it was cos of work.. it really did keep me busy.. took my mind off him.. Afterall it's been like 2 months since i last talked to him.. And I thought I was ready to be wif u..
I realised something was wrong when I started to get irritated by those jiwang smses u sent.. And it became especially so when i was away in Malacca and u kept sending me those smses.. I know it's the only way for u to express urself but i did tell u to stop.. i did tell u that i dun like such stuff.. i dun wanna be fooled by some mushy sms.. i know u really meant everything that u said.. but i juz can't seem to accept it.. i dun wanna let one mushy sms affect my feelings.. And on ur part u were always longing to see me.. But i wasn't.. I missed u.. But not in THAT way..
U can call me a bitch.. U can say i cheated u of ur feelings.. U can say anything.. But trust me.. I didn't mean to hurt u.. I didn't want things to turn out this way.. I really wanted things to work out.. Right from the very start.. I enjoyed those times i spent wif u.. All those late night conversations.. But at the end of the day.. I realised what i felt for u is different from what i felt for him.. I tried very hard.. I really really did.. I tried very very hard to stop comparing the feelings.. The feelings i felt for u & him.. But i couldn't stop myself..
U asked if i was going to continue living in the past and not accept the present.. That really hurts u know.. I didn't choose for things to turn out this way.. I didn't choose to lead my life this way.. It's not as if i didn't try to forget him.. I tried my very very best.. And i did forget him.. for a while.. But after what I heard last nite, it further confirmed all these mixed feelings i've been having lately..
And in that split second I knew I've got to make a decision fast.. But i really didn't know what to do.. All i knew was that I dun wanna be leading u on.. And i dun wanna deceive myself either.. Sometimes i hate myself for not being able to get over him.. Cos I'm depriving myself.. Depriving myself from falling for somebody else.. I've been trying so hard.. but I guess I really need more time.. I dunno how long I'll take.. But.. I really need time.. and i know u dun haf much time..
I'm really sorry things turned out this way.. But i guess it's for the better.. We haf different views on what a relationship should be.. I dun think I'm able to give u the full commitment.. Maybe I'm afraid to be committed.. Cos i did give him 100% and i got hurt in the end.. Commitment phobic.. And things were kinda moving to the serious side lately.. And again it freaked me out.. Cos it felt as if things were going too fast..
I really had no intention of hurting u.. What more play wif ur feelings.. Ure a nice guy.. Ure very expressive.. Maybe ure better off wif someone else.. U and me are juz not right for each other.. I'm fully aware of what u told shuqing last night.. I guess no matter what i say now will not make a difference..
I know u will move on wif ur life.. I know ure trying to get an earlier plane ticket back to Perth.. I have no right to tell u what to do.. I dunno if we're gonna stop contacting each other from this very moment.. I know it's gonna be hard for us to remain as frenz after what happened.. The decision is urs....
I'm BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! BAA!! BAA!! haha.. i'm too lazy to sms my frenz dat i'm already back here in singapore.. Home Sweet Home.. Not dat i didn't like being in Malacca.. but NOTHING beats living in Singapore.. it's not dat hot.. it's more comfortable.. bla bla bla.. And yes.. i've become de LAZIEST person on earth.. dat explains y i didn't bother to sms any of my frenz.. heh.. so ppl.. now u guys can call or sms me..
And on de subject of being lazy.. Noreen.. i DIDN'T forget ur birthday.. juz.. umm.. lazy?? haha.. ok ok.. i know i shld get rid of my lazybones.. it's unhealthy.. oh heck.. anyways.. my dearest Noreen.. wat wld u like as a birthday present?? I've got no idea wat to get u.. my mom has been pestering me to get ur prezzie asap.. so yeah.. tell me wat u want k?? I'll get it for u as long as it's within my budget..
K.. so had LOADS OF FUNNNNN at Malacca.. cos all my 3 fave cousins were there.. They came home for Hari Raya Haji.. no work.. no sch.. so YESSSSS!! i've got ppl to play wif!! haha.. ok ok.. they are all older than me.. so play isn't exactly de right word to use.. sorry my vocab is kinda rusty.. oh well.. let's juz say i've got dem to layan me.. heh.. attend to my every single bidding.. if i wanna eat something.. they'll go out & buy it for me.. if i feel like going to de mall, they'll drive me there.. and yes.. i didn't haf to fork out a single cent.. each time we were out they'll foot de bill.. Coffee Bean.. Kenny Rogers.. Macs.. Ice Cream.. Pizza.. heh.. den we watched vcds till late at nite.. ohh.. i watched Kal Ho Naa Ho again.. heh.. at midnite!! haha.. so one by one they fell asleep.. so only left me & abang ijal.. so by de time we slept it was close to 3.. de next morning me & him were de last ones to wake up.. but de best part was going for Hari Raya Prayers together & watching de korban..
And i ATE LIKE A PIG!! yes.. we went visiting & at every single hse i ATE SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! and u know me right.. i dun eat veggie.. so every single hse i ate beef & mutton only.. yup.. all those rendang.. ketupat.. nasi beriyani.. and wat haf u.. haha.. and not to forget we had seafood for dinner.. and de huge plate of crab was like UNDER MY NOSE.. so i finished almost de entire plate.. i think abt 7 or 8 pieces of crabs.. haha.. den they ordered 3 diff kind of fish.. i dunno wat they were cos i didn't eat dem at all.. den there were squids.. and prawns.. and i drank sugar cane juice & tea wif milk.. of course i was de last one to finish.. and my cousins purposely made fun of me.. IRRITATING!! heh..
So.. yup.. really had a great time.. i didn't wanna go home u know.. cos my cousin said next wk there'll be Konsert Sure Heboh at Malacca.. got Misha Omar u know!! and he can get me backstage passes.. but.. sigh.. my parents didn't allow me to stay.. so sad.. but nvm la.. there's always a next time.. anyways he's coming over at de end of de mth.. in his new car.. heh.. kinda excited.. HEE..